September 3 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 9 Amends In Action Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "physical sobriety is not enough, we thrive as an emotional and spiritual fellowship…" When I look back at the first days in sobriety, it was all about physical in the sense that not drinking made me able to be functional on the physical level. And still, the insanity of wanting and needing a return to drink still felt quite overwhelming. I had to go to meeting after meeting and more meetings as often as I could…
Video For Today:
Resentments! Expectations are resentments under construction and I'm so glad somebody said this to me some years back. In this new emotional and spiritual world, where feelings are what they are and very real in the moment, resentments and anger can fester very quickly because of the expectations we have. If I had expected life to return to normal I was sorely mistaken and thank God it didn't because the normal of yesterday kept me drinking with insane thinking and feelings I just couldn't comprehend. Today and it may seem a strange thing to do, I do ask myself about my mood, "how am I feeling: acknowledging my mood" "why do I feel this way: put some thought into why I feel like this" and "what can I do: what are the right actions for me right now?"
Yesterday I did get to the 9:30 AM AA meeting close by, and yes what to do about resentments? I realise these days my resentments are my feelings about the way life is, if I do not accept reality, then resentments will happen. Actually most of the time I have serenity because I do accept the way the world is, the people in it and the way things are. Often I don't like what is going on, when I apply the serenity prayer, what I can do, and what I cannot do, I do learn the wisdom to know the difference and the free choices I have around reality as it is in the moment of now…
I could have had a resentment yesterday, because at this topic meeting I suggested the topic of living in the moment, but thankfully we got resentments as a subject. Not many people voted for my idea, and a few years ago I would have felt rejected. Yesterday made me smile because I like to talk about resentments just like anyone else. If we want to speak, the person who speaks about the topic chooses and it to the good forty minutes for them to see my hand raised to be picked so I could share. All I needed was to express a view, my experience, strength and hope and feel connected with everybody. And I was able to listen to everything that was being said. What I shared was influenced by every speaker before me and I had forgotten the main point I wanted to make, and still I cannot remember it and it doesn't matter. What matters most, speaking to a friend before and speaking to friends after and listening in the meeting, being connected to people on the journey of life one day at a time…
Everything I do in fellowship and with friends in fellowship is about freely given and freely received. When it comes to other skills we may have and work we do day-to-day, clarity and boundaries and expectations need to be discussed. Just because we are in fellowship does not mean another person is responsible for our welfare in relation to finance and romance, although this might happen and frequently does… Being clear in one's own head and sharing the truth, intent on being really, really honest, means there will be no resentments and no expectations unfulfilled. However, there is a lot of sneakiness, manipulation and codependence in the spiritual kindergarten which is not just fellowship, it is in all aspects of life…
2005 - 2011
Higher Powers than me: Changing our life situation and turning it all around, from being helpless and hopeless to functioning and productive human beings. If we could not stop ourselves from drinking, friends and family had little or no chance of providing sufficient reason or love. At rock bottom there is no love for ourselves, and we are desperate. We promise everything and can deliver nothing. Is it any wonder we share about a higher power helping us? Our higher power...
My higher power: the understanding, love and compassion learned from those who keep sober so I can see a life to be lived, my life with every interest I may find open to me in reality. And what of their higher power? Simple for me, learning and wisdom, truth and a learning to live in the one day which counts, where have choices, today. God is the ultimate higher power? I know I am not god and cannot define god. I do know the power of nature and providence that each day we humans evolve and learn and change; if we are able and not driven mad by self-obsession…
Nature and providence that is the "universe" is so big we cannot comprehend it, and providence, our good fortune or bad fortune is as we see it and experience it daily. A universe so big, we are not at its centre and we are simply a part of something. I came to believe that God manifests as "truth of now" "love" and "wisdom." I learn about truth, love and wisdom every day, as life is and not what I want it to be. Human understanding of science and everything is bigger than me. So I know in my own world and world of humans, I learn truth, love and wisdom from others, and add to truth, love and wisdom in our human world.
God manifests as good conscience in action of all humans having a human experience. As good conscience needs daily attention, so do I, learning and living in sobriety and living a life with choices which are good for me and everyone I encounter. The devil is in the detail? Me thinking I know best, when in reality, we live together and coexist, so “we” know best, as life is today. As we learn to cherish ourselves, we learn to cherish everyone. To love, be loved back and useful is a choice we make daily.
God, nature and providence are never the problem; it is in the detail where we choose to reside, where problems manifest when we forget our primary purpose, to live well together and cherish always...
Our sober life is a beginning. Our old outlook, attitudes and behaviour made us closed down, unwilling and quite frankly dishonest in our dealings with ourselves and others. We can feel conflicted with the "new us"; now more open, honest and willing to change, and so we simply make progress today...
Keeping it real, we love people just the way they are. In recovery we see the tragedy of a life ended too soon in addiction and we might wish they had found the path of sobriety. As we could not stop our love affair with alcohol on our own, we keep sharing our experience strength and hope as we may, love and cherish always...
AA Daily Reflections ~ "Building a new life... We feel a man is unthinking when he says sobriety is enough. [big book]
When I reflect on Step Nine, I see that physical sobriety must be enough for me. I need to remember the hopelessness I felt before I found sobriety, and how I was willing to go to any lengths for it. Physical sobriety is not enough for those around me, however, since I must see that God's gift [or the gift of wider perceptions through good conscience] is used to build a new life for my family and loved ones. Just as importantly, I must be available to help others who want the A.A. way of life. I ask God [or in meditation and in good conscience] to help me share the gift of sobriety so that its benefit may be shown to those I know and love."
September 3 2007
DonInLondon - ‘Day In the Life’
Nature and Nurture
What is it about us humans? ‘Nature’ gives and ‘Nurture’ teaches us our human qualities. We humans have much to thank nature and providence for, it seems to me. We come into this world equipped as best we can be with the best of instincts and best of possibilities.
Yes nature does provide us with everything we need to make a life work. And we come ready made with every potential.
Nurture and Learning
And nurture is our civilisation and our society and our socialisation to make good on what nature offers. As individuals we have therefore, nature on the one hand and nurture on the other…
Indeed our purpose has been programmed in from day one. We are here to make of life what we can, to find love and to find a way to live and have our opportunity to be part of something which is infinite. A universe we have yet to understand, so infinite and so complex, its mysteries are beyond us as this world spins, we spin through life so fast it seems its over before we have hardly begun.
Nature supplies us with feelings, and instinct, to live to procreate and make more of ourselves. Nurture provides a template we find and utilise as we choose, or at least we may choose if we have choices in our civilised living.
When I look in the mirror these days I see not only me, I see my father and mother, I see much to understand and how I turned out so far.. Today after what would be a lifetime in another century, maybe I am just starting to understand living and its infinite possibilities. And this life so short, would have been done and over in another time.
Hostage to Fortune or History?
For me it feels like we are hostage often to all we learn over the years. Wisdom gained to the good always tempered by experience which leads us to falter and realise the good of life is not necessarily where we might find.
In my meandering through life, I realise the value and peace in good conscience. Treating each and everyone with an even outlook, no matter what provocation we may have.
Nurture and Love
So often these days I hear the clarion call to make good life.. Nature provides us with feelings we are apt to misunderstand as we layer on what Nurture offers, the combined belief and wisdom of the generations. And of course rapid changes we human animals often find hard to keep up to speed.
Love seems to be the core ingredient to a happy life. Love Life.. And of course we need love our fellow travellers.
Somewhere love lost becomes apparent as we strive to be all we can, and we fall out of love when we have lost our way. And sceptical intellect will tell us of our failures when in fact we mistake some part of our journey and are lost until we find our compass and safe passage once again.
Ego vs. Esteem
In my learning in recent years, there seems to be some form of connection to the two halves of how we are learning and how and where we may find conflicts.
Feelings and Belief and Nature
Our feelings arrive with us as we are born. We feel and then depending on how we are socialised, our understanding of appropriateness develops. We might see our esteem and confidence rise as we develop our outlook and life to the good
Intellect Science and Nurture
Intellect and our thinking! Seems for me there is always some conflict developing here. As we realise and understand what we can and cannot do. Nurture shows us the possibilities and our potential, society often curtails our potential and our preferences, life can be hard in civilisation.
Step 9 "If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves." Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us…sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them." AA Promises
Step 9 Amends In Action Alcoholics Anonymous Anonymous Reading Video Link:
“How It Works” Reading Video Link:
“Into Action" Reading Video Link:
I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Traditions: steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service