September 27 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 9 Amends In Action Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "gratitude and service… The attitude of gratitude!" The principles of the programme of AA fellowship, the steps and traditions, steps to help us be open, honest and willing, the traditions of unity, service and recovery. Open, honest and willing to share experience, strength and hope reinforces the need for unity of purpose, being of service to others and ensuring the safety and recovery of our fellows. We give without expectation unconditionally with love as we may and are able one day at a time…
On a daily basis in recovery we learn the basics every day of what makes us tick. And what does make us tick? Learning our emotional spiritual way of life with the principles within the twelve steps and twelve traditions. Although we may not talk about it directly because society is not always able to deal with the deep feelings we all have, we still have those deep feelings and they emerge as we learn what our feelings are in the moment of now. We do not need a brave face to cover up our feelings, our ego which can be grandiose and unhelpful diminishes as we understand and develop humility to keep learning life. Making mistakes and learning from them and sharing about what worked and what does not work makes us strong in sharing the truth of what lies beneath the surface...
Video For Today:
What lies beneath? In every society, people greet each other in many ways. In my society we ask how the other person is, "how are you today?" And often the replies are superficial and custom, "I'm okay and everything is fine, how about you?" These days if I am asked how am I? I might reply, I feel good when I really do feel good, on the other hand I might say, "I feel awful and need help!" Then the question is what will the other person do about my awful feelings? Sometimes they have no answer, sometimes they are taken aback because there is no answer and sometimes they wish we hadn't expressed our need for help from a customary greeting…
In the fellowship, as we develop our emotional and spiritual life, we start to understand our feelings in the moment of now and how to cope with them and how to share them with others. What lies beneath? Underneath the superficial customs, every human needs to be able to love others, and learn how to be loved back. Unconditional love in the moment of now means we are able to share the truth about ourselves. Truth leads to us being able to help ourselves and our fellows and this becomes part of our natural way of living inside and outside fellowship...
And romance and finance! In my youth I can look back and say to myself, "if only I had the courage…" When it came to career, I would always say yes to the challenge presented and always went with the flow which would improve my position in more than one career over the years. In the romance department, in my younger days, if I had really known what my feelings were and how to express them? I was too shy and awkward often to ask the girl of my dreams out… In recovery I look back and laugh at myself, at my awkwardness which I overcame all too frequently with a glass of something in my hand. Romance in recovery? Thankfully still awkward, still always learning feelings in the moment and sharing them as time and opportunity come my way...
Without a glass in hand, the old way to deal with heartbreak felt possible. I can remember when a partner of mine was leaving to take a long leave of absence and see the world. On the night of our parting, there was a party and a lot of drink. It was a big deal at the time, and I felt the devastation and loss ahead of the event. That night I flirted with every girl, but not the girl I loved so dearly. When we woke up in the morning, she asked me, "why did you act that way?" And I replied, "I love you, and don't know what I'm going to do without you." We both cried a long while…
In recovery, unconditional love means something quite different, I can be deeply connected in true friendship which gives freedom of choice in all actions. In the romance department, in love with life first and foremost, I don't feel the need to hold on, try control life and set up an expectation of how romance may work out. Relationships flow and we learn each day what is possible and not possible in all aspects of living, what we can do and cannot do and this equally applies to anyone anywhere. Relationships grow and develop and they are not set in a particular direction, but if we express our feelings in the moment and share them and its okay for the other person to share their outlook, based on truth we find out which relationships may work one day at a time… We give and receive as we are able… And there is always hope because life is what it is today and we all move through time in mysterious ways…
Prolonged denial is horrible, like living without purpose. What is important is to know why we are in denial once we know it. Denial is a really important part of grieving towards acceptance and cherishing people. Every emotion has its place in our lives...
Sometimes too strong, toughing things out can be a real issue for me when it comes to health issues, emotional or and physical. Explanations and never having consistent help means going over the same old same old. In recovery immediate feedback helps me immensely to keep matters in the here and now. Waiting for help is simply unhelpful when we have to wait on professionals often overloaded and so unavailable...
September 27 2010 ~ I am responsible... this is a part of our "living amend" to ourselves and others in step nine. We let go our old ways as we learn new attitudes and behaviour. We take account of our impact on others, we assume less and involve others in decision making... First we need build trust with others by our actions today...
September 27 2010 ~ service and esteem... unity service and recovery are key. Like all elements of recovery life, we can experience highs and lows in our endeavours. Service daily in any capacity improves our esteem. We take care that service is always without expectation, helps keep us on track, sober and responsible today
A step nine dilemma… My living amend to myself is to say no to anything assumed which compromises my choices without fair consultation, in advance of decisions already taken. I hope this is a right action, may be a test of my personal resolve and esteem. I know what is fair in my own mind, and what is fair for me to ask of others…
Recovery life is not all sweetness and light, if we are going to be able to live a full life, there are times when our old people pleasing behaviour can lead us into resentments against ourselves. People sometimes expect just a yes, when we need say no emphatically, or we build resentments upon resentments.
If we are asked to do something, to be included and to be able to say yes, because it is a good thing to do, helps us and helps another, a work or social occasion, then we can be optimistic and participate. Because we have a good option and say yes.
There are times when we suddenly see an expectation, and we have not been consulted, and we know it’s not going to be good for us and we may let down another person and we wonder what the next right action to take. It may seem obvious, say no for all the right reasons. I do not feel obliged, given the current circumstances. It was a request beyond friendship, it was an unreasonable request. It offers no benefit whatsoever. It would be done to please another where there is no reciprocity. In other words; no give and take and no balance and expectations beyond fair and equitable to all concerned.
Saying no, means no, as Ghandi said paraphrased, “an emphatic no is better than a half-hearted yes.”
Sometimes it is not easy, sometimes difficult, sometimes, it hurts to say no, yet the no is less hurtful long term to oneself and to others. Who wants to live resentfully having again sucked it up? Not me today.
AA Daily Reflections ~ "without reservation... When brimming with gratitude, one’s heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love [As Bill sees it]
While practicing service to others, if my successes give rise to grandiosity, I must reflect on what brought me to this point. What has been given joyfully, with love, must be passed on without reservation and without expectation. For as I grow, I find that no matter how much I give with love, I receive much more in spirit."
September 27/28th 2006
End of Days
Wow what a speech by the PM [Tony Blair]. I was amazed how well he delivered his words and it’s good to see a great performance. I have my own views on the content, and that’s ok. It took my attention away from what I have done with my specs, I think I left them at the Town Hall, so am going back to hope they are there…
Meanwhile it’s been an ok day
After getting my blog entry accepted, it was me, Mea culpa, too many words from a song and copyright problems because of it. It disturbs me a little, I realise now my entries are being moderated because of it, so I won’t be using the words from songs to emphasise my moods and feelings.
Spaced Out - how I am feeling
I don’t know if the new regime is quite right for me with the medication, my head is full of cold too, so not sure what is really going on. I feel very odd and not quite here. Time will tell. And blood sugar was high at 10.9. Colds do this to sugar levels
I felt better after my meeting last night. I met up with a friend who is really going through the mill with their depression. And we discussed our various conditions. She is convinced I may be bi polar, given my preponderance to long bouts of hyperactivity. I am not so sure, it may take more to convince me of this. But the Fry stuff on the Beeb last night, well I may be, but would rather consult my psychiatrist on matters of diagnosis.
The old dogs were barking last night and made me slow down to a crawl. At least last night I shared my whole story with regard to the three major areas of day at a time work, type 1 diabetes and what I do, clinical depression and how it is controlled and recovery of course. The fellows who listened got it, well I think they did. And that the recovery programme was the major influence enabling me to keep as well as a person can with a triumvirate of ailments to contend with.
I am still unsure whether anyone is really interested in the whole story in my fellowship, and I really only shared the totality because my friend mentioned how they are dealing with their depression and it felt right to support her and let others see, the programme helps in all matters of living.
Of course acceptance of our ailments is really the key to keeping well. And its acceptance we often don’t really understand. Acceptance is admitting our situation, and then the actions required to keep as well as we can, and know we are not going to return to what might be called normal. Whatever normal is defined as these days. I don’t worry about that anymore, and that’s part of acceptance. And I guess whatever my psychiatrist might say about what form of depression I really have is part of this too. I don’t mind what it is, as long as I do the right thing to keep as well as is possible. No more, no less.
Cat sitting, smiles. I get to have fizzy water when I visit. And it’s good to help out. And good for my family to be able to go away and not worry about me. But I will keep in touch with my Brother too, he‘s at home just 50 miles away. He may be far away, but he likes to know what’s what.
So onwards and find my specs, without them I do get concerned. And with the conference on Friday for the NHS, seeing helps with whatever I might do. Nerves are showing on this, in a good way though.
Cherish Always a day at a time!
Just For Today, cherish always…
Step 9 "If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves." Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us…sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them." AA Promises
Step 9 Amends In Action Alcoholics Anonymous Anonymous Reading Video Link:
“How It Works” Reading Video Link:
“Into Action" Reading Video Link:
I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Traditions: steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service
About Psychosis And Depression: