Alcoholics Anonymous Blog December 30 2014 "Freedom To Choose”
Fellowship meetings! Listening to the experience strength and hope of other people in the same boat as me, being sober one day at a time, this one day. Listening, so I have identification and can relate. How often do I go to a meeting and miss what is being said? It really does depend on what is going on in my own head and whether or not I can relate and hear the words being said by my fellows.
This morning, very cold and bitter out. Quite a big meeting of people in a holiday season where transport is sparse even though it's a working day, most people are still in festive mood. Today was really good, I was hearing the words of many, and not tuning out to think about me! Sharing a message of experience strength and hope, I can always detect just how I am doing, because when I hear others and their story, it means I am tuned into what is going on right now and not into a dream world of escape or a dread world of fear. I really heard a lot about my story and what broke me down today, and it makes me smile, I am no longer angry or upset by what happened to me in the past.
And recently a good reminder about not digging into the past, the person who triggered my attention to past events and past romance, reminded me that sometimes the best thing to do, no matter how much a desire might be to be in contact with another, most likely no good would come from interfering in another person's life after all this time. To love under these circumstances is to leave a happy person to their own devices and their new complete life. It really isn't about me, it is about honouring the present and the truth of now.
All past experience, the good times, the bad times, the really devastating times. All these times and experience are part of who we are and who we can be today. And sometimes the most obvious thing to do is to examine the can do and cannot do today. And to be very considerate of those we have loved in the past who are no longer in our lives. It's not just my life in sobriety, it is about honouring other people and where they are in their lives now. I appreciate that someone else reminded me of exactly where temptation and sometimes unwanted contact puts others I have known into uncomfortable reminders. Always good to cherish and to love times past and although nostalgia is really good, not so good to be tempted back into stormy waters by natural curiosity.
Step Twelve Reading 12 & 12
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