Alcoholics Anonymous Blog November 22 2014 "Truth Love Wisdom”
Forgiveness can be a tall order! And when we are not forgiving of other people, I don't see any possibility for self-forgiveness. Often it just starts with, "why on earth did I do that?" When I came out of rehab after three months of horror and torture, I was so angry, the only answer appeared to be a drink. Fortunately although rehab really didn't work for me at that time, that lapse many years ago meant I went to the only place where there was forgiveness in those dark days and that was Alcoholics Anonymous.
Years later, often we hear the experience, strength and hope being lost in recovery. Real events can hurt deeply, our actions or the actions of other people can bite so hard to enrage even the gentlest person. And I hear this quite often. Until we get to the impossible point where we cannot cope, often we do not ask for help, when help is at hand and we need not soldier on with impossible burdens.
Sharing our burdens, when we are upset and hurt is all part of the human experience. The human experience applies to everyone and it's not something we need shy away from. Fear, pride and ego, those infamous feelings are happening even if we are not aware of them very often. And very often, just because we can cope until breaking point, better not let things drag on to where insanity is not only possible, insanity happens.
Prayer and meditation: prayer to look outwards, meditation to reflect on what is happening, the can do and cannot do. Whenever I say to myself, I need a can do attitude, it's worth checking out if I'm pushing myself to a limit beyond sanity. And listening to other people who often push themselves so far that sanity turns into insanity, the result can be very painful. Romance and finance: heartbreak and ruin can be optional if we cope with what is happening in the moment of now rather than let it build up to a mountain of heartbreak and ruin beyond repair.
I am not God and I do have an understanding of God. Surrendering to the truth, love and wisdom of now, the truth is everyone sees it, unconditional love as it manifests, this leads to wisdom if I am able to cope with the information coming my way. So these days I am able to pray and meditate, not worry about the God of other people's understanding, or the expectations they may have of God. Life is about guidance, truth, love and wisdom as it develops. And sometimes life is good, bad or ugly, and that's why I need help sometimes, to cope with all eventualities as they happen.
Thank goodness we learn not to act out. Acting out on bad and ugly situations, sometimes we simply need some help and often the source is unexpected and beyond our wildest dreams.
Step Eleven Reading 12 & 12
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