Alcoholics Anonymous Blog/Video Nov 29 DonInLondon Step 11 "Truth Love Wisdom"
"Love, forgiveness, harmony, truth, faith, hope, light, and joy to every human being."
November 29, 2013 Step Eleven Month: "sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out." "Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference." Can do, cannot do and accept the wisdom to know the difference. Of course if I cannot do something, I need to ask for help and guidance from somewhere today.
Yesterday, sad news about John, a friend of mine who died yesterday. John was in Fellowship for quite a few years, faced all the difficulties of life sober, and still vulnerable to any ailment anyone can get in life. Even though we knew that John was ill and was not going to get better, his closest friend supported him with courage and love. Life is precious, and John made an impact on many people and helped friends in Fellowship. I will miss him and I am sorry he is gone. There are good memories to cherish: his humour, his stories of maritime adventures and tragedies, everything he was will be missed.
Hearing about John before going to the hospital for the results of some of my tests, reminds me somehow we compartmentalise events and give time to those we mourn when there are quieter moments to reflect. My hospital visit was full of humour and a good distraction whilst the news about John was sinking in. My tests were okay, at the same time the results did not identify what to do about various matters. Ongoing investigations will follow in a timely way. And it was only later watching something on TV which showed the birth of a new life that I was upset and overcome by the loss. The start of life and the end of life, tears flow. Thank God I can feel life today, even if the feelings are somehow delayed and events need to sink in, emotional and spiritual life is worth every moment.
Can do: be of help and support to people closer to loss. Cannot do: I can't make things better or change reality. When we are close and see reality, every life that starts is precious, and then the world happens. Since I've been in sobriety, emotional and spiritual experience of learning to cherish and love as nature intended and a restoration of natural instincts, feelings fit reality most of the time. And still any human will be overwhelmed by circumstances which are overwhelming and it takes time to cherish where we are today. Feelings can be very painful and we feel it physically when we are overwhelmed. And the same is true of joy when joy is experienced, overwhelming beyond belief, until we believe the experience of now.
As usual and on a daily basis I have a conversation with my mum or my sister who live quite a way off down in Bath Spa, my sister up in London, so my mum answered the phone. I shared about John, and the nature of his illness which was the same as my dad's. And then of course we had a conversation about the sadness with John and then a conversation about my father and how my mother nursed dad through his last days over twenty-two years ago. And there is goodness in this because we learn how to cherish over time all the good and although we don't forget the other elements every human has, cherishing and love is where the memories are if we are fortunate. This is all part of life, I was completely overwhelmed twenty-two years ago and lost the plot for a while, and happy I did and somehow survived through the most difficult times any human need endure. Human today, one day at a time. And like any human, any human can go whichever way events shape them over a lifetime.
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