Alcoholics Anonymous Blog/Video Nov 24 DonInLondon Step 11 "Truth Love Wisdom"
"Love, forgiveness, harmony, truth, faith, hope, light, and joy to every human being."
November 24, 2013 Step Eleven Month: "sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out." Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." Max Ehrmann
Prayer, as commonly understood, is a petition to God. For those right things of which we and others are in greatest need. The common good. Very difficult! How on earth do we know how to petition for the right things and not the wrong things? Trying to think it out on our own will always reflect our personal outlook unless we are open, to see the big picture with willingness and honesty. I generally have a chat about emotional and spiritual in a very simple way: "how am I feeling, why and what may I do in the moment of now?" Once I understand my mood, the need and urgency of tasks can be prioritised. If my mood is good bad or ugly, I still need to know what it is and what may be driving me to particular conclusions about myself and the world today.
Meditation, on my emotional and spiritual condition opens me up to understanding motivations, what is driving me one way or another, if I feel fear pride and ego on the one hand and courage faith and confidence on the other. Or all my emotions may be scattered and disparate and my thinking simply jumps around until I stop and reflect. Sometimes when I go to sleep there is a conversation with my inner voice about the world, the harshness and the beauty of everything going on in the moment of now. I was perturbed about one conversation yesterday, with someone I don't know too well, and I fear I might have made assumptions about the good of their experience when they feel less positive about them or judged by me.
And sometimes I get feelings of not liking the silence of the night, usually there is something up and I don't know what it is. And a message just now by text about a friend on their final moments. Their best friend is with them and all I can do is be there and offer help, so that when help is needed I will. There will call me shortly. I don't think and I don't feel that this phenomena is unusual, where we have a doubt and fear that something is wrong or that there is a deep sadness somewhere that we just can't pin down. We find out what we can do as the situation emerges and hopefully we are there when asked.
I felt like there was something up last night and I was just very uncertain, and because they are quite a lot of people who I know who are not so well, I make sure my telephone is on, the computer has the email on and I am available. When asked I can answer, but with a lot of connections, trying to find out where the feelings are coming from when people are in distress is extremely difficult. Even though it can be quite disturbing, I have learned to be patient and be available. And sometimes nothing happens and nobody asks for help, the help came from elsewhere and that is always good, because it's not about me. In recovery we can become very human human beings, and our emotional and spiritual sensitivity develops in the moment of now and all the moments that follow.
Yesterday's meeting was wonderful, apart from the one conversation which left me feeling dislocated. Share a few moments with many people, thanking them, greeting them, being a part of something far bigger than me, and the humility and sometimes the courage to keep on offering the hand of friendship. Sometimes we get up the noses of those we care for most, and sometimes we just put size twelve boots on and tread all over another person’s sensitivities. So easy to do and it hurts when we do it, hopefully I am wrong, but the good news is I am probably wrong and any one of us can be as contrary as can be in the moment of now.
There was mention of some things people have done in recovery, with regard to writing a list of things which are important to them in recovery. For example, getting a job, getting a husband or wife, setting up the family, making a baby, getting the car, getting this that and the other. And having made these lists, put them in a box and look at them sometime in the future in recovery and see whether these things have happened. And for some these lists have proved to be harbingers of good news, or bad news and ugly news if they have not been achieved. If I had made a list, the list would have one element in it, item 1 sober one day at a time. End of the list. Sober one day at a time, anything is possible if I am open, the opportunity occurs and if I like it I can go for it and the opposite if I don't like it. One day at a time sober what is beyond my wildest dreams and now just for today it is reality.
We are all different, diversity is what works in recovery. And with this one similarity, "a desire to be sober," somehow even though we are so different and we never see each other outside meetings, our common purpose makes it possible to learn life all over again. The younger we find this out, the better and I love it when I see younger people, far younger people than me start a journey into reality, free of the bondage and learning how to make freedom the best choice one day at a time. And of course with hindsight, it can be a little bit distressing if we have not come up to the standards and aspirations of other people. And then I remember that aspirations are quite different as we get older, the aspirations of now and my aspirations of now serve me well and open to anything that might happen in the next twenty-four hours!
Alcoholics Anonymous Videos, AA is for Alcoholics, AA 12 Steps, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,