Alcoholics Anonymous Blog/Video Nov 27 DonInLondon Step 11 "Truth Love Wisdom"
"Love, forgiveness, harmony, truth, faith, hope, light, and joy to every human being."
November 27, 2013 Step Eleven Month: "sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out." "Always look on the bright side of life?" I suppose if we are optimistic about life, for whatever reason then we can look on the bright side and seek through prayer and meditation to find a way forward which might make it happen. On the other hand, pessimism: "always look on the dark side of life!" I know which I prefer.
Coping with reality is difficult. I have friends who are having the best of times and friends who are having the worst of times. Life is what it is, be it good bad or ugly. Life is not a battle in my view, I am not trying to overcome things, and I prefer to deal with things as they are. It doesn't mean I am immune to the bad ugly and difficult of life, it just means that if I cannot cope, I can do something very practical: ask for help.
I just had a summary of notes taken delivered by post and suggestions made by my specialist at the hospital. It reads like advice is being given to me, and there is commentary which I find unhelpful. And there is nothing I can do about the attitudes and behaviour? A recent case of a Minister of the Crown being misquoted and misrepresented highlights the way some people report on others as if they were superior in some way in their outlook and their conduct. If a Minister of the Crown can be misrepresented, and they feel angry about it, no wonder I feel angry when a cuntibolloxbastard misrepresents me in a report about me to another medical person. Of course the words "alcohol abuse," in relation to my diabetes, in my case the two are not connected and yet the report suggests that they might be. Clean and sober for a number of years, a minor surgical procedure caused type I diabetes and that is a fact I wish to find to be true or not. Or there is prejudice afoot! I just thought I wanted to clarify that point and now I feel better.
I was thinking of a friend yesterday, indeed many friends. And it is very strange how life works, we might be thinking and feel concerned about a friend and then out of the blue they contact us. Very odd and I shall try get in touch. At the same time another friend is in need in a different way and another friend is coping with a mutual friend. We are all connected in some way, and prayer and meditation helps to prioritise and make us aware of what we can do and what we cannot do. We need enough time and depth to ensure a helpful response. And if we spread ourselves too thinly, the danger of being useless to everyone becomes apparent. Life keeps on going and we need all the friends we can get even if we cannot spend equal amounts of time with each other, it is always the quality of we can do, and knowing what we cannot do which makes the difference one day at a time. Over promise and under deliver is very easy and accomplished with the best of intent.
My mum was feeling every moment of her eighty-second year on the planet. Arthritis, and a myriad of other ailments we are all likely to experience as life progresses into being ancient. And after a conversation about how two paracetamol tablets take the edge off the pain we got onto the subject of Buddhism. And part of the Buddhist philosophy is to reflect on the good items and elements of life through "gratitude." It can be difficult to find gratitude when we start to collate the negatives that everyone experiences, the bad and the ugly and the emotions caused and felt by disability and becoming ancient. However we did agree, another day above ground is good, the weather is good and sunshine even though it's cold. That we are able to share our outlooks and see where gratitude resides in every moment. The primary element of gratitude for both of us yesterday, still above ground, able to appreciate the simple things in life, accept what we can and cannot do and that we keep on learning the difference some refer to as "wisdom."
And how do I feel this morning? I woke up at silly o'clock, yesterday had been rather unpleasant from a medical standpoint in terms of reports and also coping with a particular aspect of my ailments which was quite debilitating. At the same time I was able to enjoy quite a lot of things. To be there for a friend in need, and sadly not be there for other friends who called when I was on the bog and did not know they had called until this morning. I was on the bog quite a lot yesterday! And it makes me laugh to relate this rather tragic and non-descript event. Anyway the good news is that since silly o'clock this morning, normal bowel conditions have been restored as has my sanity around the issue. Always look on the bright side of life? Sometimes it takes a little time, and sometimes it is a lifetime.
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