Alcoholics Anonymous Blog/Video Oct 4 DonInLondon Step 10 "Reality Check"
October 4, 2013 Step Ten Month: "continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." Yesterday was a good day, results from my general practitioner connected with recent issues. The ECG, the sample examined from the rear, both came back normal. Moving on to the issue of blood pressure being low in my left arm and normal in my right arm, issues of dizziness, etc. etc. led to a visit to the x-ray clinic at the hospital, and being advised that nothing in particular was urgent. I also complimented the Doctor about my prescriptions and quantities being correct at last. I felt like withdrawing the compliment at the end, when summarily dismissed to the hospital he had stopped listening to the other symptoms I felt I ought to mention. Step ten, tolerance and love? Fuck that.
Anyway it was a good day to be out, before the rain during the afternoon and whilst I was at the hospital having an x-ray, I bumped into an old friend who is in recovery; we went for coffee, saw one or two people who are in fellowship as they floated by our location outside the coffee shop. Some people are good to see and some people aren't, mind you even when we see people who we don't particularly get on with, "they too have a right to live here," comes to mind. And having heard all the news from my friend, and they put up with my monologue of recent tests, we concluded it was good to be alive and in recovery. There could have been a step ten here, because we haven't seen each other for ages and we meant to. The good news is at least on the surface we are okay and actually we do like each other. All good and even our mums are still alive and in their 80s.
What do I do about a Doctor who cannot listen or is simply so busy, and having had to explore pulses on my body in places I would prefer covered, and then send me off for an x-ray and to come back if there's a problem, well I guess the impatient with patients Doctor can be forgiven. The problem is, if there is no discernible ordinary reason for the symptoms which are manifesting, he may go back to thinking that my emotional state is the problem and it is not a physical issue at all. However, there is evidence that something is wrong, so maybe we will get somewhere in the end before my end I hope. Time to explore a new general practice? At least I have seen the same Doctor over the last few weeks which is a first in twenty years.
Joined up computer systems! From one room in the general practice to another, computer systems are not always linked. At the same time I had been given a card which suggests that the GP practice computers are now linked to the hospital computers. Unfortunately it seems the operators in both the general practice and the hospital do not seem to be joined up in any way. With the current situation with our spy service in the UK, GCHQ in Cheltenham spa and other places or the American spy service, maybe they could advise my medical teams on what is going on and how to access my medical information in a better and more complete fashion. Step ten: forgive everybody everything, or go mad one day at a time.
Admitting I am powerless over medical people in medical places doing medical things does not mean I need give up. All I need to do is keep on asking questions and sharing the general state of my well-being, emotionally and physically. If I were trying to manage medical people, in medical places doing medical things I would not get excellent service from those who work in these places. In the main and for a long time I have had excellent medical service and help for my emotional and often physical situations beyond type I diabetes. That step one, means I can be fairly relaxed about step ten, except when there is no listening, and little action which might bring forth evidence of what is going on inside me. Good bad and ugly is all part of life.
I have not mentioned the visit by a surveyor to my home on Tuesday last. I did write to the complaints Department about this particular individual. So you might assume that I am emotionally fucked up? Not really! Step ten all about forgiveness, and we can be forgiving of people who are obnoxious, stupid and ignorant because they too have their story. And we can be tolerant, because maybe that is the only way they know how to live and behave and act. After all if a person has not been able to learn, or has not been instructed in how to behave, they are ignorant, and their actions are erroneous until they are enlightened. So overall, it has been a good week of step ten, tolerant and loving, even when the ignorant were unable to listen to my story. Thank God that the daily newspaper, the Daily Mail is not reporting my situation to the nation. My father disliked conservatives with an intensity which would make him rage full and his blood boil! He still loved the country but not the bastards who run it.
Step ten is a miracle, it makes it possible to live and find sanity within oneself, even when the rest of the world is mad, rushing from one situation to another, unable to take a breath, applying for at least twenty jobs every week, wanting to emigrate to anywhere they can get work and make ends meet, except those who live in Chipping Norton and love their MP. And according to recent sources, "the BBC," that particular MP has never done a proper job in his life. And this may be true of most of the people he considers he is chairman of the board, in his part time day job. Step ten, let go with unconditional love? Fuck that. Just let go.
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