Alcoholics Anonymous Blog January 4 2015 "Powerless”
In the moment of now, I am powerless over the way other people are feeling and thinking. I'm also powerless over alcohol and no longer need to try and control my drinking, because I don't drink alcohol one day at a time. I don't crave a drink, but sometimes there is that elusive desire to control people, places and things. Imposing my will on any situation without consultation will make my life are manageable and the rest of the world will carry on doing what it wants to regardless of me. Unless of course I recall that I need to include myself, wherever I may be and be aware of what is going on. We are all interdependent and if we are inclusive and ask, we are more likely to get on with each other today.
Over the last few days, after Christmas and the New Year celebrations, fellowship meetings tend to be more volatile as people celebrate in fellowship without the need to drink. And yet there can be many disruptive influences in family, community and work where celebration may well include other people drinking and sharing in a nostalgic way about our part in matters and how we used to be. A good way in the past for me has been to acknowledge and admit and accept everything I used to be, and also say, "that was then and that was the way I was back then, now, it's a completely different way to live without a drink and I'm happy being this way." Powerless indeed over the memories that I have and other people have of how I used to be. I am a better version these days with the gift of sobriety and acceptance of the past for what it was.
When we hear another person's life story, when they share their experience strength and hope, we hear usually just how awful rock bottom was before we surrendered and admitted complete defeat. And the blindingly obvious news in my case was I could not get sober and keep sober on my own. I needed to ask for help. Once I understood that it was okay to ask for help on any given day, vulnerability was not a weakness, it became a strength, because I could ask anyone for help about anything and not worry or feel inferior when I declared I needed help. And today vulnerability is a strength, and when people respond positively and help, that is good. There will be unfortunate times when people see this as a weakness, we don't need those people in our lives and we can let them be as they are and as they say these days, "we can 'jog on' happily."
A wonderful fellowship meeting, where we discussed a topic, "what is emotional sobriety?" So many different ways to try and understand and try to think the solution about emotional sobriety. Unfortunately life changes, or rather it is most fortunate that life is changing all the time and if we are able to feel our emotions in the moment of now, where they fit with the current conditions today; that is most likely an answer to “what is emotional sobriety?”
Where feelings fit in the moment of now and we are coping, all feelings that are available to any human are most likely valid. Some things we can cope with and feelings fit with our situation. Sometimes we cannot cope and our feelings can be extreme. Asking for help is part of emotional sobriety and learning about how to cope with life without trying to blot it out. If I were to try and share all the things that were said most positively, it would take a lifetime, fortunately one day at a time I can absorb and learn enough to keep me on track today and very happy in this present moment of now. Good news, happy right now, the vulnerability is I cannot control whatever happens next and that is good and gives me excitement about life moment to moment.
It's been good these last few days, seeing people I know and see frequently, seeing people I know and see infrequently, and meeting new people just starting out and learning the painful path in early days. I love them all! And what a good start to the year.
Step One Reading 12 & 12
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