August 16 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 8 Amends And Willing Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "I had dropped out…" Over the years in my drinking days, I accepted career choices which involved working with "people," working all over the "place" where the job took me and seemed to collect "things" ad nauseam. Always adding more on top of more. Somehow fitted with my restlessness in the here today and gone tomorrow world I created… Dropping off the radar very often…
Video For Today:
In a dislocating world, it is very easy to be dislocated and peripheral, on the outside. Looking back I can see that career choices meant I was always on the move troubleshooting something or other, stay long enough to make a difference but not putting any roots down. It was not a conscious choice to be like this, but it was harmful to me and many people I met. It had a lot to do with romance and finance, two of the most important elements of life, never enough to fill the void inside in those days…
Now that I don't have to to fill the void inside and have come to understand what it is to be a human being, learning the emotional and spiritual day by day "my feelings in the moment of now and how to cope with them." This makes me more aware of my impact on other people and although I enjoy and have deep feelings for people around me, I don't place expectations on others and I don't promise anything I cannot deliver. In the moment it works if I keep on working to truth, in an open honest and willing way today…
In the new world of instant communications, I feel there is an expectation that if we have computers and telephones welded to us, that people expect instant answers and can be frustrated when an individual chooses to switch off communications. And the daily reflection, about dropping out and in some way excluding people needs context or we never switch off, never drop out and never take time out in solitude to rediscover what we need and how we interrelate with family and friends…
Instant connection 24 hours a day to a huge world. An addiction of its own, the addiction of not missing out on anything and instantaneous gratification is not healthy. Just my opinion, but I cannot find peace of mind if I have no peace. I do keep in touch as best I can but not instantly! I know the difference between solitude, what I would call time out and isolation which is a desire to hide away. "Solitude" to learn about me is good, "isolation" to hide away not so good and can happen any given day…
When it comes to life balance where we include people and become included by other people is something that develops through time. There can be harm done inadvertently and we can make things understandable when we know we have hurt somebody and make amends. This does not open the door to inclusion always, because there are a lot of people in life we just don't want to know, and there is absolutely no reason to include people in our lives if we don't like them, and we can meet many of those every day…
AA Daily Reflections ~ "August 16 "I had dropped out..." We might next ask ourselves what we mean when we say that we have “harmed” other people. What kinds of “harm” do people do one another, anyway? To define the word “harm” in a practical way, we might call it the result of instincts in collision, which cause physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual damage to people. [12&12]
I had been to Eighth Step meetings, always thinking, “I really haven’t harmed many people, mostly myself.” But the time came when I wrote my list out and it was not as short as I thought it would be. I either liked you, disliked you, or needed something from you - it was that simple. People hadn’t done what I wanted them to do and intimate relationships were out of hand because of my partners unreasonable demands. Were these “sins of omission”? Because of my drinking, I had “dropped out” - never sending cards, returning calls, being there for other people, or taking part in their lives. What a grace it has been to look at these relationships, to make my inventories in quiet, alone with the God of my understanding, and to go forth daily, with a willingness to be honest and forthright in my relationships."
DonInLondon 2005 2011
Step five chair last night, all about sharing our life story with another human being and our higher power. It is part of clearing the wreckage of the past, making room for new beginnings. Romance and finance are big in our lives. Romance and heart break a part of living, to love, and be loved. Finance, needs met, wants forgotten. These elements of life, always confounding and better approached with a sober head and open heart today...
How am I feeling? Okay in myself. Why? Today I have freedom to choose. What am I going to do? Live in the moment, my intention is to deal with every encounter fairly, be open to change, and say no emphatically to anything which is not good for me. An emphatic no is better than a half-hearted yes...
August 2008 ~ 2010
Yes I had dropped out. In isolation back then and powerless over anything, and trying to fix the emptiness, no real choices, broken. To now, involved and included with choices each day, equal and now the same size and rights as all humans. Inclusion: with rights and responsibilities. To love, be loved and useful always just for today
Amends and living... "Life is difficult" M Scott Peck. As we learn from experience in recovery, what strength and hope may be in our lives, "difficult" becomes a fact and not an obstacle, it becomes the nature of living in the moment. We are part of this universe, joyful or sad we are connected, forgive, live and cherish always...
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We learn as we can just one day at a time…
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AA Official Online Site: Daily Reflections
AA Official Online Site: Big Book And Twelve And Twelve
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Step 8 "Step Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." "n other words, who have you harmed? You will recall from our discussion of Steps 4 and 5, that a preliminary list of persons we had harmed is generated there. The list will now be refined into a personal amendment plan, which is the product of Step 8."Although this step requires plenty of work, there is nothing frightening in it. Amends are not actually made in Step 8. Instead, we plan for the making of amends in Step 9, which follows. Harm is: injury, hurt, damage, misfortune, grief, pain, sorrow, evil, wrong or wickedness. Have we brought about any of these in the lives of others? The Big Book and the 12&12 also are quite specific about harm." BB Bunch
August Video Reading Step Eight Into Action Link:
Step Eight Reading
“How It Works” Reading Video Link:
“Into Action" Reading Video Link:
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I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Traditions: steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
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Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service
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