DonInLondon

February 13 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012

2012-02-13T08:02:00.002Z

February 13 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012 | Today's AA daily reflection: "we cannot think our way sober." For me it is the difference between thinking and knowing versus actually doing and living sober. I read the books, thought I knew it all and I don't, and waited. I needed to wait for life experiences which meant I could see my old behaviour and my need to change my behaviour as the steps and traditions could be utilised in real life… It was not long before I could see how each step and tradition helped me with my feelings and actions on a daily basis…

Clearly the school of hard knocks and the University of life provides every experience to test and challenge how we can keep sober and live the steps and traditions in our lives. Never perfect, simply progress today and the joy of understanding what my feelings are, rather than thinking what they ought to be was a revelation almost from day one. My first feeling, not pushed away by alcohol was almost paralysing, it was fear. And with the passing of each anxiety state, the fear kept on diminishing to fit reality.

It seemed like I had put the cart before the horse, my thinking had been a fantasy of what I ought to be able to do. As my feelings and emotions started to settle down, I realised if I knew how I was feeling on a daily basis and in the moment, my thinking would be the right size for the day and that moment. Then my actions were more in keeping with the reality of what is happening and not trying to think of myself bigger or smaller than the problems and solutions on that day…

And now, I realise just as I did not think my way into being an alcoholic, it is not thinking which comes first in keeping sober. Knowing how I feel, will always show me the way. Extremes of emotion which do not fit with reality will always lead to overthinking the situation and the actions being extreme and will not help me cope with reality as it is. I really didn't understand my feelings and emotions because I was only half complete. I now know that I can feel anything dependent on my spiritual condition. And as described by an archbishop and probably many other religious and secular "emotional and intellectual scholars," "spiritual living is the ability to cope with what is going on now."

This does not mean we abandon our thinking completely or ignore what we have learned over the years. We need to put the horse before the cart, know our emotional state and how it impacts on our thinking or we keep on doing the same old things expecting a different result which is Einstein's definition of insanity…

Step 2 Reading Video Link:

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"

DonInLondon 2005-2011

"Even the most brilliant mind is no defense against the disease of alcoholism. I can’t think my way sober." As Bill Sees it

Two meetings, lunchtime at the "hut" for spiritual experiences and traditions. Wonderful chair, all about reality. We can live reality today without the need to take the edge off. Gifts in recovery, getting to know ourselves and those we love. Sometimes just in time, we realise just how much we care for family and make amends before it is too late.

And then "after nines" at Eaton square, all about later sobriety. The good news in later sobriety is to live the days and not rely on years, that we still get into scrapes, fall into holes, bits may drop off us! Same as everyone who keeps on living. And always newcomers looked after in this meeting in a caring way, and similarities and not differences emphasised all the way...

AA Daily: WE CAN'T THINK OUR WAY SOBER ~ FEBRUARY 13 To the intellectually self-sufficient man or woman, many A.A.’s can say, “Yes, we were like you–far too smart for our own good…. Secretly, we felt we could float above the rest of the folks on our brain power alone.” AS BILL SEES IT, p. 60

Even the most brilliant mind is no defense against the disease of alcoholism. I can’t think my way sober. I try to remember that intelligence is a God-given attribute that I may use, a joy–like having a talent for dancing or drawing or carpentry. It does not make me better than anyone else, and it is not a particularly reliable tool for recovery, for it is a power greater than myself who will restore me to sanity–not a high IQ or a college degree.

-/-

February 12 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012

2012-02-12T11:58:00.002Z

February 12 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012 | Today's AA daily reflection: "the root of our troubles" selfishness and self-centredness! When do we realise that we have been selfish and self-centred? Most likely a question to be asked, every day in our personal conduct. When it comes to recognising selfish and self-centred in relation to our addiction, it is almost impossible to see with any clarity. From ignorance of our condition, to denial and then to admit and accept takes time when it comes to changing our outlook day by day…

I was just watching a TV programme all about rules, laws and regulations which apply in different forms of religion. Our Fellowship, Alcoholics Anonymous is not a religious organisation, but many fellows in our society do hold religious views. I'm grateful for the early founders of our Fellowship who suggested there are no rules, laws or regulations which exclude anyone anywhere reaching out the help. There are suggestions about how we conduct ourselves in Fellowship and it always remains a personal decision about what we can do and cannot do today…

The twelve steps and the twelve traditions. Steps for personal development, open honest and willing to change. Traditions for unity service and recovery. The steps to stop us committing suicide, the traditions to stop us committing homicide. All about tolerance and love for other people and compassion as we learn together sharing experience strength and hope. This is why Fellowship works for me, not selfish and not self-centred as people when it comes to sharing a message on learning how to live life again and again and again…

I do realise over the years that bravado covered up my shortcomings. My shortcomings, not understanding the nature of faith (simple faith rather than religious faith), courage and confidence to meet real-life, that is life on life's terms and not some fiction I had thought up. Today I do have courage, faith and confidence based on what I know and the ability to keep on learning how life may be today. I can be a part of society and included contingent on my understanding that life is changing and I can be part of reality today…

Step 2 Reading Video Link:

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Selfishness–self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of all our troubles

Two meetings in a day: First meeting: "Just for today" this morning, we were packed in like sardines! Newcomers to old timers, sober today. People sharing what is happening now, the themes were all about what was disturbing us in the moment, good things and bad things and as always acceptance seemed to be the key. It is the key if we can find it!

And Second meeting: Tonight was "courage to change." We can and do change every day. Experience is our teacher, not just our own, but the experience everyone shares. Practice makes progress and perfection is not our goal. Our goal is understanding what we can do and what we cannot do and simply learning the difference...

AA Daily: THE ROOT OF OUR TROUBLES ~ FEBRUARY 12, Selfishness–self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of all our troubles. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 62

How amazing the revelation that the world, and everyone in it, can get along just fine with or without me. What a relief to know that people, places and things will be perfectly okay without my control and direction. And how wordlessly wonderful to come to believe that a power greater than me exists separate and apart from myself. I believe that the feeling of separation I experience between me and God will one day vanish. In the meantime, faith must serve as the pathway to the center of my life.

-/-

February 10 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012

2012-02-11T10:25:00.000Z

February 11 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012 | Today's AA daily reflection: "the limits of self-reliance" reminds me of how I used to be. Taught to stand on my own two feet, with a stiff upper lip and stand-up for myself and not show weakness. Pretending to be okay on outside and never knowing what was going on, on the inside…

When we are taught not to show our feelings and a phrase comes to mind "I may be hurt but I will not show it" actually blocks our emotional development. Hurt people inevitably hurt other people. Either through ignorance of their own condition, that they are actually hurt by life and so feel it's "just the way it is," to behave badly and hurt others. We need to know we are doing this before we even get to "denial" that we might be doing it, hurting people…

Alcoholics Anonymous, described from within as a "spiritual kindergarten." Where spiritual learning, understanding what our feelings are in the moment and that they fit reality. Our feelings fit what is going on, be it good or bad or indifferent. Learning what love is just day by day. We work together in unity service and recovery, simply day by day developing an understanding of what it is to be a human being in the moment of now…

Self-reliance has its place in our lives, or we are totally dependent or dominant. There is a middle ground where we keep learning from everyone around us, and others learn from us by what we actually do, the action we take on a daily basis. Sometimes we do take the lead, sometimes we follow and always we are interdependent with each other and what is going on around us. We might think it would be better to be in charge of everything, but where did it get us?

Extreme in any direction, and in particular self-reliance means we can become cut off, we look within and look inwards for solutions. And our old solutions did not work, leading to extreme fear, isolation and every other unhelpful emotion as we became distanced from reality. A reality check: How am I feeling? Why? And what can I do? These questions reveal a need to check with others around me what is going on. We share experience, strength and hope with each other so we see a balanced view, what to do next, our feelings begin fit our experience now, "reality" as best they can and keep learning, we can have courage to change…

Step 2 Reading Video Link:

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"

DonInLondon 2005-2011

A meeting "after eights," Inspiring! Restored to sanity in the day. Feelings can erupt as if from nowhere, good or bad, they are real. But do the feelings fit the moment? Sometimes... What matters is sanity is restored as we pause see the big picture, laugh or cry or simply sigh... love people, hate their behaviour and forgive ourselves and others as we trudge the steps...

Self Will! At the beginning of step four, it is suggested there is nothing wrong with our "natural instincts." And in my experience when I am in balance, emotions and thinking work well. Over dependence on self will run riot when life is extreme blocks us from help and support. Restored to sanity, I can see when feelings and thinking are out of balance and I need help, always in the moment of now...

AA Daily: THE LIMITS OF SELF-RELIANCE ~ FEBRUARY 11, We asked ourselves why we had them [fears]. Wasn’t it because self-reliance failed us? ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.68

All of my character defects separate me from God’s will. When I ignore my association with Him I face the world and my alcoholism alone and must depend on self-reliance. I have never found security and happiness through self-will and the only result is a life of fear and discontent. God provides the path back to Him and to His gift of security and comfort. First, however, I must be willing to acknowledge my fears and understand their source and power over me. I frequently ask God to help me understand how I separate myself from Him.

-/-

February 10 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012

2012-02-10T06:58:00.002Z

February 10 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012 | Today's AA daily: "I don't run the show" helps me understand that much of what I was taught is not going to keep me sober one day at a time. Standing on my own two feet: never showing weakness, putting on a brave face and relying on my ego to cover up my lack of confidence, courage and faith.

Being self-reliant; it can be a good trait and resilience and determination are all part of making good in life. Overreliance on our desire to be self-sufficient can be part of a stubborn and defiant approach to dealing with addiction. We still feel we are at fault and can judge ourselves so harshly as failures, we can drink ourselves to death…

In our alcoholism, a self-inflicted wound leads to the toughest love regime we apply to ourselves. Tough love applied, every time we fail, we do more self-harm and lose sight of the twelve steps. The twelve steps are all about progress not perfection, tolerance and love. How to be open honest and willing to change and be open to help and support in fellowship. We do not run the whole show…

"Let go and let God?" Whatever you perceive he, she or it to be, the proposition that we can let go and ask the help feels right for me. And I cannot speak for anyone else, at the same time I am happy to ask for help and have the humility to accept support, love and tolerance, try new ways to live with support and stop going it alone today…

I'm very happy to be on the world stage as a part player, not being an Oracle, not knowing the answers to even the most basic ways to live. Living with humility and openness means I can listen, and learn from others how to be sober, and especially learn how to love, be loved back without conditions and simply useful in some way today…

It can be a wonderful world again, and because we live and it is difficult some of life will be quite horrible and most often our true source of learning. Learning to be happy, learning to be sad, learning to love and understanding why sometimes we can hate what people do including ourselves…

Letter to a friend struggling with the word God: I feel the good news is that there are over 7 billion people on the planet now and each one has a definition of God inside us. And all these definitions are right for each individual, be they atheist, agnostic or believer or any combination of these over the years of living.

I too struggled with the word God. And probably still do from time to time. What makes it all work for me is understanding that there are higher powers all around me all the time.

And so the debate about God is not really an issue, just for me I don’t mind what definition anybody else has. I am happy that I can let go being self sufficient and the source of knowledge and next actions. The whole reading of the chapter on acceptance being the key and the whole world being stage and we are merely players, brings into sharp focus that there are many ways to simply letting in "the good" around us.

And of course I will have problems with the word God and what other people anticipate and expect him, she or it to be able to do for us… All the steps, acceptance and can do, can’t do and knowing the wisdom resides in life, experience and asking for help.

I don’t edge good out, I ask for good to come in, by conscience inside me and the inner voice that always talks to me, the good conscience of those around me and the collective conscience of where mankind may be headed…

I don’t know the answers, at the same time the question of god is a good one, because if we are thinking about it, we are feeling the whole impact of a new way of life and it keeps us on track.

I love the word humility and I am so pleased to be a learner each and every day. I may know a little bit more about me and life by the time I get to bed tonight. The gift of no certainty and acceptance and challenge make everything worthwhile one day at a time…

Step 2 Reading Video Link:

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Yesterday, a chair from an old timer celebrating 35 years sober, and several more around the same time! The theme was living reality, AA for sober, outside help for other emotional and physical. Several newcomers appreciated the “reality check,” that AA keeps us sober and we get freedom to work on everything else. Real experience, really helpful and no denials …

Needs met wants forgotten...

Stephen Covey "Every human has four endowments- self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change." Insanity caused by addiction produces extremes of behaviour, what I would describe as the thin edge of experience. Extremes of feeling, unaturally sustained, always elusive and never as powerful as the first time... The deep of experience built on time...

AA Daily: I DON'T RUN THE SHOW ~ FEBRUARY 10, When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn’t. What was our choice to be? ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.53

Today my choice is God. He is everything. For this I am truly grateful. When I think I am running the show I am blocking God from my life. I pray I can remember this when I allow myself to get caught up into self. The most important thing is that today I am willing to grow along spiritual lines, and that God is everything. When I was trying to quit drinking on my own, it never worked; with God and A.A., it is working. This seems to be a simple thought for a complicated alcoholic.

-/-

February 9 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012

2012-02-09T09:50:00.002Z

February 9 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012 | Today's AA daily reflection: "looking for the spiritual angle" is always difficult because if we are looking for the spiritual angle we are missing it in the moment of now. In my living, living in the moment means my mind, body and breath are complementary to what is happening, where my feelings fit with what is going on. And if I know my feelings, I recognise how I am thinking and what actions are influenced by the "spiritual angle of now"…

Looking for the spiritual angle is almost like or probably is like looking for the holy Grail. The more we search for it, the more we miss the point what is going on right now. I guess after all these years of trying to control everything, the holy Grail and the spiritual angle is always with me in the moment. The range and depth and richness in this moment is as good as it gets based on anything and everything that has happened and is happening around me and inside me. And I realise today, past and present is and always has been spiritual, I just didn't know it back then and now today I do…

Spiritual can be good, bad or indifferent. Happy joyous and free is a state of being in the moment and similarly, unhappy without joy and constrained is also spiritual. Every experience of life is enriching and as I have heard "nothing goes to waste in God's economy" and although the God of my understanding is not likely to be exactly the same as anybody else's, the understanding that nothing is wasted if we understand how we learn from nature and providence…

Everything seems to be connected in some way or other, how we live and interact with everything we encounter. The ability to keep on learning, is the very essence of humility for me and not knowing is an opportunity to find out more. Letting go the fear of the unknown, and letting everything possible into my living today means I find more truth in the moment and this seems to be at the heart of spiritual just for today…

Step 2 Reading Video Link:

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Spiritual Angle? Living spiritual is living reality, open honest and willing. Ever present, in the imperfectly perfect moment, happy or sad, exhilerating to excoriating ~ Stephen Covey "We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey." -/-

Spiritual is not some thing we can pick or choose, like serenity we develop our ability to live in the moment, where spiritual is constant change in real time.. ~ Mohandas Gandhi "Spiritual relationship is far more precious than physical. Physical relationship divorced from spiritual is body without soul." Truth is now..

Spiritual understanding for me is explicit in the serenity prayer, can do, cannot do, wisdom in the moment, and then choices.. ~ Similarly Oprah Winfrey "It isn't until you come to a spiritual understanding of who you are - not necessarily a religious feeling, but deep down, the spirit within - that you can begin to take control." Working what works for us..

AA Daily: GETTING THE "SPIRITUAL ANGLE" ~ FEBRUARY 9, How often do we sit in AA meetings and hear the speaker declare, “But I haven’t yet got the spiritual angle.” Prior to this statement, he had described a miracle of transformation which had occurred in him –not only his release from alcohol, but a complete change in his whole attitude toward life and the living of it. It is apparent to nearly everyone else present that he has received a great gift; ” . . . except that he doesn’t seem to know it yet!” We well know that this questioning individual will tell us six months or a year hence that he has found faith in God. LANGUAGE OF THE HEART, p. 275

A spiritual experience can be the realization that a life which once seemed empty and devoid of meaning is now joyous and full. In my life today, daily prayer and meditation, coupled with living the Twelve Steps, has brought about an inner peace and feeling of belonging which was missing when I was drinking.

-/-

February 8 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012

2012-02-08T08:01:00.002Z

February 8 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012 | Today's AA daily reflection: "all about Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde." We could also say, "Mr Wright and Mr Wrong, Ms Wright and Ms Wrong." And yet we know there is no right and wrong in recovery, simply endeavouring to be open honest and willing to change. Dr Jekyll, the good in us, Mr Hyde the bad in us. Mr Hyde with all natural instincts distorted and confounding! Even those of us who are good have a little bit of bad depending on the situation. And those who are bad have a little bit of good depending on our situation…

When I understand I can be restored to sanity by higher power, I try to keep it in the context of now and what is happening today. I can be restored to sanity as my situation and circumstances allow and help me. Contingent on asking for help at the beginning of the day, the process can be less painful and less chaotic. Because in the moment when Mr Hyde comes out to play, I can recognise it and ask the help, and in my case it is usually a telephone call or face-to-face discussion or getting to a meeting where I can share what is happening today…

And that inner voice which can be hostile to the outer world we live in. When we are hurt, we can hurt people… Hurt people, hurt other people in retaliation and upset. When we are not loved, we cannot feel love for other people. When we are able to hate, we can hate other people. I need my morning meditations, of checking how I feel, why and what to do. And always remind myself of step one, powerless and unmanageable, step two that I can be restored to sanity and step three, let go and let good into my life today…

And when things are going well, be grateful because there will be times of equal measure when things do not go my way. And unlike the past, where I would say to myself "my way or the highway" I can respond looking at the big picture, "where are my choices and why my freedoms right now?" There are always choices to good outcomes when I look for them, and bad choices when my expectations are far beyond reality…

"Expectations are resentments under construction"

Step 2 Reading Video Link:

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"

DonInLondon 2005-2011

We are a complete package when we are born and we don't have an instruction book attached... If we can open up to learning without feelings of shame and guilt and laugh at what we do not know, every day we have a chance to let go and let in the good there is for today...

School of Hard Knocks becomes the University of Living Now ~ Pete Seeger "Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't." -/- And the Wisdom to know the the difference? Just For Today!

AA Daily: CONVINCING "MR. HYDE" ~ FEBRUARY 8, Even then, as we hew away, peace and joy will still elude us. That’s the place so many of us A.A. oldsters have come to. And it’s a hell of a spot, literally. How shall our unconscious–from which so many of our fears, compulsions and phony aspirations still stream–be brought into line with what we actually believe, know and want! How to convince our dumb, raging and hidden “Mr. Hyde” becomes our main task. THE BEST OF BILL, pp. 42-43

Regular attendance at meetings, service and helping others is the recipe that many have tried and found to be successful. Whenever I stray from these basic principles, my old habits resurface and my old self also comes back with all its fears and defects. The ultimate goal of each A.A. member is permanent sobriety, achieved One Day at a Time.

-/-

February 7 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012

2012-02-07T07:27:00.002Z

February 7 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012 | Today's AA daily reflection: "humility can lead us to faith." All my life I was a learner, not necessarily learning life too well, more survival skills than anything else. Humility is being able to keep on learning how to live well for me these days. Humility offers release from having to know the answers and having to know the questions. And the question of faith? Faith in whatever you choose to be a higher power will work. The essence of faith today for me does reside in humility and being open, honest and willing to change…

It may seem so simple to many, "a higher power moment," and to me it was a revelation. When it came to addiction and what to do, my higher power moment was simply "I cannot do this on my own." I picked up the phone, made a call and asked for help. It was a bittersweet moment, realising I needed help and at the same time still feeling resistance inside me to needing help. After the call, still churning about what to do I'm grateful the decision made, I was able to reach out, listen and make a choice towards freedom and not back into the malady…

Restored to sanity is really difficult, I was looking for "the fix" because the fix would fix me and I would never have to think about it again. I would be cured and with the sure knowledge of knowing the answer, I would overcome my battle and my fight with addiction. Another bittersweet moment, being restored to sanity is a daily ask, simply because there is no fix beyond the moment of now. I cannot predict my circumstances or the challenges I may face and so there is no fix and I'm very pleased there isn't… It’s all about learning life in the moment and asking for help daily from anyone, anywhere and anything is key to a life with serenity as part of the equation…

I start my day asking myself the questions, "how am I feeling, why and what can I do?" If I know what my feelings are, I know where my thinking may go and likely actions which follow. And as a meditation, remind myself of steps one, two and three, powerless and unmanageable, restored to sanity contingent on the day I ask and let go knowing, and let in the world to help me life can be bittersweet. Whether it is bitter or sweet, the serenity prayer will help me understand what I can and cannot do today…

Step 2 Reading Video Link:

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"

DonInLondon 2005-2011

True humility, the ability to learn with an open mind can lead us to our personal faith, and every A.A. meeting is about sharing experience, strength and hope with an assurance that the wisdom paves the way to restore us to sanity if we rightly relate ourselves to the world as it is today

William Faulkner "All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible." -/- Progress is delicious...

Fellowship restores our faith in our courage to change ~ Mohandas Gandhi "A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history." -/- Every human being is a miracle... And fellowship helps restore us to sanity daily!

Step 2 "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"

We find it amazing that the newcomer can start the A.A. program without any specific beliefs or, for that matter, without any beliefs whatsoever. All a person needs is the open-mindedness and the willingness to believe that WE BELIEVE this program works...

True humility, the ability to learn with an open mind can lead us to our personal faith, and every A.A. meeting is about sharing experience, strength and hope with an assurance that the wisdom paves the way to restore us to sanity if we rightly relate ourselves to the world as it is today

William Faulkner "All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible." -/- Progress is delicious...

Fellowship restores our faith in our courage to change ~ Mohandas Gandhi "A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history." -/- Every human being is a miracle... And fellowship helps restore us to sanity daily!

AA Daily: AA Daily: A PATH TO FAITH ~ FEBRUARY 7, true humility and an open mind can lead us to faith, and every A.A. meeting is an assurance that God will restore us to sanity if we rightly relate ourselves to Him. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 33

My last drunk had landed me in the hospital, totally broken. It was then that I was able to see my past float in front of me. I realized that, through drinking, I had lived every nightmare I had ever had. My own self-will and obsession to drink had driven me into a dark pit of hallucinations, blackouts and despair. Finally beaten, I asked for God’s help. His presence told me to believe. My obsession for alcohol was taken away and my paranoia has since been lifted. I am no longer afraid. I know my life is healthy and sane.

-/-

February 6 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012

2012-02-06T08:51:00.001Z

February 6 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012 | Today's AA daily reflection all about: "unity, service and recovery." Together in unity we share experience strength and hope, a common language of recovery. And knowing when we do service, simply by attending a meeting, being part of the service committee, putting out chairs, greeting, making tea… We work and believe in helping each other one day at a time.

My home group meeting: and a brilliant chair all about dealing with the wreckage of the past and emerging into a new way of life. "Not one of us is a failure!" I had never heard that before at the start of the meeting nor in my years in recovery. Many shared back exactly on that point, that life had been blighted by our own judgements about our own failures. Indeed in recovery we do learn that all experiences have great value if we understand the experience we are having. Forgiveness for oneself leads to forgiveness of others. Even at their worst, other people and ourselves are doing the best they can be in the moment of now…

"Don't do my thinking for me." A real reminder to me when I make suggestions to others not to judge them in what they might do next. If I try judge what another person thinks or feels, before finding out I can be very judgemental in any suggestion I might make them. Better to check out their thinking in relation to helping or simply being with them. The old adage "judge not lest you be judged" is key in recovery or we tread hard on the toes of our fellows…

The AA big book: written by people in recovery and restored to sanity on a daily basis. The big book, a starting point and a daily guide for anyone "under construction" today. It struck me last night that the AA big book is a work written by mad people for mad people, being restored to sanity and emotional and spiritual well-being just for a day. So easy to forget that sanity is restored on a daily basis with the help of powers greater than me…

Step 2 Reading Video Link:

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Kathleen Casey Theisen "Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgement of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you're going to do about it."

Bob Marley Born Today June 6 1945 "Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you’re riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts; put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!" "Bob Marley isn't my name. I don't even know my name yet."

Fellowship restores our faith in our courage to change ~ Mohandas Gandhi "A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history." -/- Every human being is a miracle..

A good day, learning simple small things, absorbed and happy in solitude, a meeting tonight felt good, all possible and sober today ~ William Faulkner "All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible." -/- Progress is delicious…

AA Daily: A RALLYING POINT ~ FEBRUARY 6, Therefore, Step Two is the rallying point for all of us. “Whether agnostic, atheist, or former believer, we can stand together on this Step. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 33

I feel that A.A. is a God-inspired program and that God is at every A.A. meeting. I see, believe, and have come to know that A.A. works, because I have stayed sober today. I am turning my life over to A.A. and to God by going to an A.A. meeting. If God is in my heart and He speaks to me through other people, then I must be a channel of God to other people. I should seek to do His will by living spiritual principles and my reward will be sanity and emotional sobriety.

-/-

February 5 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012

2012-02-05T09:38:00.002Z

February 5 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012 | Today's AA daily: "a glorious release" was the beginning of freedom on a daily basis from the slavery of addiction to alcohol. In my early days, it did not feel glorious at all. I will still full of old beliefs, attitudes and behaviour which were not bad in balance simply complete blocks in my recovery. The old ideas: standing on my own two feet and being strong, resilient and stubborn and not a quitter. The glorious release, becoming open honest and willing to change, yes resilient but not stubborn in trying to be my old self…

Learning to have courage faith and confidence to listen to others and to new ways of living is not easy. What had seemed to work perfectly well have driven me into addiction, not only to alcohol, it made me stubborn and stuck. Striving for perfection, ignoring and covering up the pain of life, life could only be seen in terms of success. The right career, right girl, right house and all the trimmings of the things which demonstrated life was good. All I really needed to know in recovery was how to cherish people places and things just the way they are and are today…

Released from having to be right, from having to be someone based on values which really had no value except to mask what was missing in me. The glorious release, of not having to be right, not knowing the questions and not knowing the answers became a joyful feeling within me. If I don't have to be right, powerful and dominate anything or anyone, I'm making progress today…

Living in the moment of now, I do ask myself each morning how am I feeling? Why? And what may I do? In the context of step one I am powerless over alcohol, people places and things and if I try to control anything I know I will narrow my choices to my blinkered outlook. And of course as a result life will often get unmanageable. Better to know how others feel, why and what we can do together. Interdependent we are and we work it out together making free choices based on how life is and coping with our real life right now… The glorious release and freedom from self, sharing and understanding how life may be today…

Step 2 Reading Video Link:

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Sober today I become more authentic, more able to learn... When I am truthful, the result is humility and learning. Fake it to make it? If I pretend it is bravado, slows my progress, keeping myself distant and others in ignorance. Deceiving me and others is denial. Open honest and willing, progress is more constant ~ Jean-Paul Sartre "Acting is happy agony." -/- Been there done that. Truth helps life work now..

AA Daily: A GLORIOUS RELEASE ~ FEBRUARY 5, The minute I stopped arguing, I could begin to see and feel. Right there, Step Two gently and very gradually began to infiltrate my life. I can’t say upon what occasion or upon what day I came to believe in a Power greater than myself, but I certainly have that belief now. To acquire it, I had to stop fighting and practice the rest of A.A.’s program as enthusiastically as I could. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p.27

After years of indulging in a “self-will run riot,” Step Two became for me a glorious release from being all alone. Nothing is so painful or insurmountable in my journey now. Someone is always there to share life’s burdens with me. Step Two became reinforcement with God, and I now realize that my insanity and ego were curiously linked. To rid myself of the former, I must give up the latter to One with far broader shoulders than my own.

-/-

February 4 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012

2012-02-04T08:18:00.002Z

February 4 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012 | Today's AA daily: "when faith is missing." Faith was certainly missing from my life from the very beginning. No understanding of God, or simply mistrust of anything religious. And an understanding driven home by real-life that hard work, doing the right thing and standing on my own two feet would lead to success. Coming into recovery, I had no blame attached to anyone but me for my predicament. In early days, the evidence that sobriety was possible started a process of developing a faith of my own understanding. And I began to trust in others in recovery…

Courage and confidence took a while to develop in my early days. Paranoid and fearful and always looking over my shoulder kept me wanting and completely unnerved day by day. Trusting other people, who were on the same journey one day at a time, to remain sober and participate started me on the road with faith. Faith in people and learning to trust was key. And I also needed to realise that as I was fallible so others were fallible too, prone to make mistakes and at the same time learn from them. Progress in learning and having enough courage and confidence helped me start to understand what faith can be for me…

I know the notion of faith is laden with personal beliefs, usually of a religious nature. The nature of personal religious beliefs is what it is for each individual and to be respected in my opinion. Today I have faith to be a learner about all aspects of life including religion, living day by day in a practical way and developing an understanding of how to live and cope one day at a time. I have faith in people, and faith that doing the next right thing if I know it will improve my situation. If I don't know the answer, I have faith that others may and if none of us know the answer, working together we may discover the best path available wherever it may lead. And of course we learn and we can change direction learning what we can and cannot do today…

All the steps in our programme are about being open, honest and willing to change. And change is part of the bedrock of living one day at a time. It is okay not to know the answers and it is okay to be learning life every day. And if I become fearful, hide behind a brave face and try and tough out situations my faith, courage and confidence is undermined by me. Better people know when I need help and asking for help is key at any time in any day…

Many people say, "God works through people" and after years of being a sceptic, I find no argument with this understanding today…

Step 2 Reading Video Link:

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"

DonInLondon 2005-2011

"I gotta have faith?" I had no faith at all in the final days of my drinking. And in AA it took a while for me to believe and trust that people in fellowship were really sober one day at a time. Today I trust the majority in fellowship, have learned to share my truth. Secrets kept me stuck, truth sets me free. Faith in truth and the majority of good people keep me sober. And tolerance for those who are still stuck most of the time...

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in our world by mistake. Until I could accept my humanity, I could not be complete in living; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."

AA Daily: WHEN FAITH IS MISSING ~ FEBRUARY 4, Sometimes A.A. comes harder to those who have lost or rejected faith than to those who never had any faith at all, for they think they have faith and found it wanting. They have tried the way of faith and the way of no faith. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 28

I was so sure God had failed me that I became ultimately defiant, though I knew better, and plunged into a final drinking binge. My faith turned bitter and that was no coincidence. Those who once had great faith hit bottom harder. It took time to rekindle my faith, though I came to A.A. I was grateful intellectually to have survived such a great fall, but my heart felt callous. Still, I stuck with the A.A. program; the alternatives were too bleak! I kept coming back and gradually my faith was resurrected.

-/-

February 3 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012

2012-02-03T08:19:00.002Z

February 3 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012 | Today's AA daily reflections: "filling the void" strikes me on many levels in recovery. The amount of time I spent drinking in those last dark days left no room for me let alone anyone else. I became a 24 seven drinker. When I stopped, the immense gap and emptiness felt like a minute was an hour, an hour felt like a day and a week felt like a year-long. As time has passed, I never seem to have enough time to do all the things that are possible today. From the dark and loneliness and isolation and emptiness, to a life full of possibilities and simply to be lived one day at a time…

Another question raised, "do I now believe or am I willing to believe that there is a power greater than me?" And I can answer honestly on two levels, the first is simply there are many powers greater than me in the real world today. And higher power comes in the form of wisdom from any human source on the planet about anything and everything. And with regard to a metaphysical higher power, some call "God" is whatever anyone chooses to believe. No one needs to be challenged on their faith and belief. I for one am happy with the word God and see a connection to a collective higher consciousness we can access together or as individuals through our own conscience. I learn more just for today…

How am I feeling today? Why? What can I do? Questions I ask myself at any time of day, and in particular when I wake up in the morning. Asking myself first thing in the morning, "how am I feeling?" Knowing my mood and how I wake up influences how I start to think and act for the rest of the day. If I wake up happy, I'm likely to think happy and behave happily. If I wake up feeling fearful, I'm likely to think and act fearfully. Sometimes I wake up excited, happy and fearful in the moment and when that happens I usually ask for help from whatever source is handy. I can appeal to God, conscience and then most likely make a call, get in touch with another human being for support and encouragement to start my day…

Step two is all about opening up to asking the help from any source where there is wisdom. Support comes in the form of learning that others will take the time and be supportive if we ask. And in asking it is a request and not a demand. And the beauty of asking for help is that others will ask us for help too. We become part of something bigger than us, opening the door to fellowship: Unity, service and recovery and then the same in our community and living. These steps work if we work at living them in the moment of now and just for today…

Step 2 Reading Video Link:

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Newcomers "Joys Of Recovery" I was there! Seeing newcomers and chips, I am amazed for each sober day a newcomer lives. Reminds me I need never take the gift of "sober today" for granted. Freedom to choose sanity, make best choices and madness an arm’s length away, cherish always

When we can stop the cycle of harming ourselves and blaming, we stop harming and blaming others, peace in the moment is freedom ~ Wayne Dyer "A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe." -/- Sanity restored daily as experience develops...

AA Daily: FILLING THE VOID ~ FEBRUARY 3, We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. “Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?” As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 47

I was always fascinated with the study of scientific principles. I was emotionally and physically distant from people while I pursued Absolute Knowledge. God and spirituality were meaningless academic exercises. I was a modern man of science, knowledge was my Higher Power. Given the right set of equations, life was merely another problem to solve. Yet my inner self was dying from my outer man’s solution to life’s problems and the solution was alcohol. In spite of my intelligence, alcohol became my Higher Power. It was through the unconditional love which emanated from A.A. people and meetings that I was able to discard alcohol as my Higher Power. The great void was filled. I was no longer lonely and apart from life. I had found a true power greater than myself, I had found God’s love. There is only one equation which really matters to me now: God is in A.A.

-/-

February 2 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012

2012-02-02T08:37:00.002Z

February 2 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012 | Today's AA daily reflection: "rescued by surrendering" was very difficult for me, to be rescued from myself. All my life taught to be strong and independent in thinking and action. Standing on my own two feet with a "stiff upper lip" and "a brave face" I would face anything and everything. The idea of being vulnerable and unable to sort myself out meant I isolated and drank because I could not stop. Saved by a simple understanding, "I cannot do this on my own" opened the door to me asking for help from anyone, anywhere and at any time…

Insanity is often described as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. That was me for a long time, doing my utmost to be in control and resolve any issue or problem I faced in life. And all the problems piled up, and my will to live and left me. Emotionally broken and unable to cope with life at all I had reached "the jumping off point" where many people simply fade away or worse not only ending their own existence, harming many others in the process. From step one, powerless and unmanageable to step two, driven mad on my own, I'm thankful I could ask for help and see strength in vulnerability…

The idea of being restored to sanity by a higher power was something I wondered about for a long time. All I needed to do in the end was accept that I have no clue how to do many things, and especially I did not know how to deal with addiction in me. The whole idea of admission and acceptance is key one day at a time, and I am grateful that step two is now a daily reminder, asking for help at any time is the greatest strength we have…

Not knowing the answers is good news for me today. Accepting that I don't know, and it's perfectly okay to be a learner in life whatever our age, removes the pressure and insanity of trying to be right, "be in the know" that anything. And all I need do is ask the help, research and find out. Ignorance is not bliss. But not knowing and saying so is perfectly acceptable and finding out is the solution…

Step 2 Reading Video Link:

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Arthur Gordon "Some people confuse acceptance with apathy, but there's all the difference in the world. Apathy fails to distinguish between what can and what cannot be helped; acceptance makes that distinction. Apathy paralyzes the will-to-action; acceptance frees it by relieving it of impossible burdens."

Courage to be ourselves ~ "That quality of mind which enables one to encounter danger and difficulties with firmness, aware of our fear, resolve of heart; valour; boldness; resolution; fortitude." Progress not Perfection..

Fear of anything we may imagine is often greater than fear in reality, leaning on fellowship, we develop courage as we learn and share our truth ~ Maya Angelou "History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again." -/- Fear is part of living..

Courage to change sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, with help from our friends ~ John Wooden "Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It's courage that counts." Live in destiny, destiny and choice is here right now!

Mark Twain "It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare."

Faith in action we change our attitudes and behaviour ~ C. S. Lewis "Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point."

AA Daily: RESCUED BY SURRENDERING ~ FEBRUARY 2, Characteristic of the so-called typical alcoholic is a narcissistic egocentric core, dominated by feelings of omnipotence, intent on maintaining at all costs its inner integrity…. Inwardly the alcoholic brooks no control from man or God. He, the alcoholic, is and must be the master of his destiny. He will fight to the end to preserve that position. A.A. COMES OF AGE, p.311

The great mystery is: “Why do some of us die alcoholic deaths, fighting to preserve the ‘independence’ of our ego, while others seem to sober up effortlessly in A.A.?” Help from a Higher Power, the gift of sobriety, came to me when an otherwise unexplained desire to stop drinking coincided with my willingness to accept the suggestions of the men and women of A.A. I had to surrender, for only by reaching out to God and my fellows could I be rescued.

-/-

February 1 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012

2012-02-01T09:01:00.000Z

February 1 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012 | Step 2 "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity" Admitting and accepting that I am powerless over alcohol and if I drink again life will be unmanageable. That is step one, and I remind myself of this choice every day. Our whole program of recovery is simply one day long. If I do not remind myself, I can be very forgetful and find myself in a problem, rather than living in the solution today…

And step two, I now realise that just for today a higher power can restore me to sanity. How so? When I have a problem, usually it happens when I cannot see a solution or there are so many blocks to resolution I get angry, frustrated and depressed. A surge of anger is not helpful. My higher power: another person, a group of people, a source of knowledge and wisdom…

I do believe that there are powers greater than me, "higher power wisdom" all around me and better I find help rather than drive myself mad trying to work it out alone. However you describe your higher power, it is what works for you in the moment and just for today…

We all use the word God, as believers, as atheists and agnostics. And wherever you fit in the spectrum of belief, non-belief or simply don't know, we all have an inner voice of conscious conscience. That inner voice: of conscience and disturbance and even serenity is a lifelong companion. Usually and most often the inner voice is all about our emotional state, how we are feeling in the moment of now…

Our "fellowship" is not religious by nature; many in fellowship have religious beliefs and choose God as their higher power. And many simply follow what works for them. There is a phrase, "we don't know what we don't know" and we can only find out as we continue to live sober just for today…

Always "just for today" means we keep on learning who we are, what we are and where we are in the moment of now. There is no need for rigorous certainty, we learn our freedoms and choices as we live, what we can do and cannot do, the wisdom comes as life evolves…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Fear of anything we may imagine is often greater than fear in reality, leaning on fellowship, we develop courage as we learn and share our truth ~ Maya Angelou "History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived

again." -/- Fear is part of living...

AA Daily: GOAL: SANITY FEBRUARY 1, step two gently and very gradually began to infiltrate my life. I can’t say upon what occasion or on what day I came to believe in a power greater than myself, but I certainly have that belief now. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 27

“Came to believe!” I gave lip service to my belief when I felt like it or when I thought it would look good. I didn’t really trust God. I didn’t believe He cared for me. I kept trying to change things I couldn’t change. Gradually, in disgust, I began to turn it all over, saying: “You’re so omnipotent, you take care of it.” He did. I began to receive answers to my deepest problems, sometimes at the most unusual times: driving to work, eating lunch, or when I was sound asleep. I realized that I hadn’t thought of those solutions–a Power greater than myself had given them to me. I came to believe.

-/-

Email | don@doninlondon.com

Music | "music for airports" By Brian Eno | http://www.enoshop.co.uk/ |

January 31 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-31T10:24:00.002Z

January 31 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 | Powerless over alcohol, people, places and things is my daily reminder. And I know I need to learn powerlessness over computers if I don't read the instructions. Which helps me realise there are steps and an order if life and anything is to be manageable. Humour, powerlessness and unmanageability are a constant reminder of what I can and cannot do today…

Today's AA daily reflections: "our Common welfare comes first" is about unity, service and recovery within the fellowship. We are all equal in our society as individuals. We abide to decisions made in our group conscience. At the same time our whole philosophy is about freedom of choice as individuals, the very essence of sobriety one day at a time…

"The whole is greater than the sum of its parts" and fellowship offers a safe place to grow and develop because of the experience strength and hope we learn over the years, always one day at a time. Sometimes we do go backwards to rediscover and relearn so we may go forwards again, as individuals and as a fellowship.

There will always be loud and noisy persons in our groups, and that is just as life is, and what we need to remember in the group and in fellowship, and especially in the group conscience each voice is equal and each vote is equal. This works in real time and face-to-face, which is why we remain trusted servants and there are no leaders, or the essence of unity service and recovery is lost…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Learning how to be open, honest and willing with twelve steps of AA has opened the door to a new way of life, sober one day at a time. In unity service and recovery, the twelve traditions serve all as we understand them. If you or I relapsed, the hand of AA is always there, that is my hope today...

Sometimes we are in a meeting where everyone is open and honest sharing their truth and the truth leads to more truth. The preamble, a reading from the big book, an honest chair and we share from the heart, how it was and how it is today, the meeting after the meeting, almost as long as the meeting!

AA Daily: OUR COMMON WELFARE COMES FIRST JANUARY 31 ~ The unity of Alcoholics Anonymous is the most cherished quality our Society has. . . . We stay whole, or A.A. dies. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 129

Our Traditions are key elements in the ego deflation process necessary to achieve and maintain sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous. The First Tradition reminds me not to take credit, or authority, for my recovery. Placing our common welfare first reminds me not to become a healer in this program; I am still one of the patients. Self-effacing elders built the ward. Without it, I doubt I would be alive. Without the group, few alcoholics would recover. The active role in renewed surrender of will enables me to step aside from the need to dominate, the desire for recognition, both of which played so great a part in my active alcoholism. Deferring my personal desires for the greater good of group growth contributes toward A.A. unity that is central to all recovery. It helps me to remember that the whole is greater than the sum of all its parts.

-/-

January 30 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-30T08:11:00.002Z

January 30 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 | Today's AA daily reflection: "freedom from and freedom to?" It can be very difficult in my experience to feel any freedom at all in early days of recovery. Which is why hope is so important and was so important. Hearing people share their stories, experience of recovery in the fellowship of AA, eventually started to make a difference to me. Simply one day at a time, not needing to drink was key. I still had many wants, wanting to be well, wanting a roof over my head and many more, but not wanting a drink or needing to drink was enough for me…

From hopeless desperation and desolation to hopeful and able to cope just enough today, my daily rehab in the community, going to meetings and for the first time in many years being included in something and not looking from the outside meant I kept sober. It felt like a long-distance endurance of fear and looking over my shoulder for some imaginary bogeyman to catch me out. Of course there was no bogeyman, and the extreme fear began to subside when I realised fellowship was my community within my local community, and at last I was included and belonged again.

My first emotion in recovery, extreme fear beyond reality. Fear of being found out, fear of not being good enough, fear of being beyond redemption which felt like a 24 hour nightmare. And then in time fear seemed to become just one of many emotions I may have today. And over the years, I still am learning what it is to be loved and to be able to love back. And every emotion a human being can feel today is more understood by me. The twelve steps help me learn what my feelings are today, and they fit my experience. And when my feelings fit the experience of now, I think and behave consistent with what is happening and my personal outlook today…

The greatest freedom for me is to learn "who I am daily." I start my day with basic routines to understand my emotional and spiritual condition, "How am I feeling, why and what may I do?" Just simply checking out my daily starting point and then reminding myself of steps 1 to 3 and the serenity prayer. And at any time of day, steps 10 to 12 will help me and guide me just for a day. And with humility it's not whether I'm right or wrong, it's what I do and how I live which defines me and helps me understand a little bit more about life and living in the moment, the only place where we can change our outlook day by day…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Two meetings for me yesterday: At lunchtime about tradition one, freedom of choice in recovery is paramount. And then late evening: all about issues in later sobriety. Each meeting emphasised living real life as real life is, and with acceptance we keep making the best choices to action, action being the key...

Arthur Gordon "Some people confuse acceptance with apathy, but there's all the difference in the world. Apathy fails to distinguish between what can and what cannot be helped; acceptance makes that distinction. Apathy paralyzes the will-to-action; acceptance frees it by relieving it of impossible burdens."

Step One "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable"

AA Daily: Freedom from... Freedom to ~ We are going to know a new freedom... ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 83

Freedom for me is both freedom from and freedom to. The first freedom I enjoy is freedom from the slavery of alcohol. What a relief! Then I begin to experience freedom from fear - fear of people, of economic insecurity, of commitment, of failure, of rejection. Then I begin to enjoy freedom to - freedom to choose sobriety for today, freedom to be myself, freedom to express my opinion, to experience peace of mind, to love and be loved, and freedom to grow spiritually. But how can I achieve these freedoms? The Big Book clearly says that before I am halfway through making amends, I will begin to know a "new" freedom; not the old freedom of doing what I pleased, without regard to others, but the new freedom that allows fulfilment of the promises in my life. What a joy to be free!

-/-

January 29 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-29T11:30:00.002Z

January 29 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 | Today's AA daily reflection: "the Joy of sharing" is all about life taking on new meaning. So many new questions in recovery and at the beginning no answers, and often many assumptions by all. The first question, what am I going to do now with all this time? Still in the grip of fear and out of sorts with everything, fear of the unknown can grip. When an old-timer may say "take it easy" it seems like they have no clue what goes on for the newcomer, they do because they are listening to you. Taking it easy means listening and trying to understand as we emerge from the darkest of days…

The shock of being included again, hearing people share their experience, strength and hope with each other is a dramatic turnaround. From isolation and hiding, to knowing it is okay to share the worst of times so we can move on to the best of times, and hear about "new times" from others starts a way of life living one day to time. As we start to learn from our history and stop fearing our future, recovery life is all about our emotional and spiritual condition now. Knowing our feelings fit with reality and we can cope, the best of times is whatever the feelings may be good or catastrophic, whatever the pressure, feelings fit with the moment of now. And we really can cope as we ask for help today…

We are making day by day progress, by sharing experience strength and hope with newcomers becomes essential to understanding our own recovery, and continually sharing how recovery works. And as each newcomer soon realises, the experience they have of each day in recovery is essential to share with their fellow newcomers and old-timers. Newcomers and old-timers alike are only as good as they may be when asked for help in any day, and we keep learning and changing as we put into practice whatever useful comes our way…

I can remember the harsh and stark desolation of those final days of drink. The isolation needed, to hide away from everyone and everything was coming to an end. The rattling and tremors subsiding and just able to get to a meeting and almost hold a cup of tea and munch on a biscuit. It took a few days to realise I was not in the spotlight and no one was looking at me other than to offer help… And "the Joy of sharing" took quite a while for me…

Many discussions about love come my way, from what is love to how can I possibly love myself, to if I am attracted to a person will I fall in love? All good questions and no answers. One critical factor about unconditional love means that we don't put conditions on ourselves about loving ourselves, and if we are wondering if we can fall in love with another person, or we want to, how on earth can this happen? All good questions with no answers…

Attraction and not promotion? This is what we know in recovery in our fellowship, attraction is what you see is what you get. Promotion, a bit like a profile on a web dating site is relating the best and not the worst, or quite the truth of who we are. Fellowship cannot fix through promotion, and when it comes to love and learning about others who we may be attracted to us by what we see may be not quite what we get. Many questions and no answers and often many assumptions…

The truth of love is? So many questions and no answers and so many assumptions. Relationships, we feel a need for them and we feel better in them? The first relationship to find is the one with ourselves where we ask the questions and find out the answers day by day. And as our relationships grow with others, the unanswered questions start to be answered, in the moment when we ask and as we develop as people, in relationships and family and community and society today. The question asked directly to the person in the moment of now offers an answer immediately in the moment of now. Sometimes things work out sometimes they don't, better to know now and not be lost in dream or fantasy without reality. And always in reality today, we find the key…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

I have found that when I let go trying to manage outcomes and let outcomes emerge life is bigger than my imagination and bigger than anything I can control. When I narrow my focus, my world becomes small. When I broaden my outlook, more choice and more freedom, opportunity knocks today...

Spiritual, simply is being in the moment, experiencing 'now'...Voltaire "What then do you call your soul? What idea have you of it? You cannot of yourselves, without revelation, admit the existence within you of anything but a power unknown to you of feeling and thinking."-/-

AA Daily: THE JOY OF SHARING ~ JANUARY 29, life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you. to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS , p. 89

To know that each newcomer with whom I share has the opportunity to experience the relief that I have found in this Fellowship fills me with joy and gratitude. I feel that all the things described in A.A. will come to pass for them, as they have for me, if they seize the opportunity and embrace the program fully.

-/-

Email | don@doninlondon.com

Music | "music for airports" By Brian Eno | http://www.enoshop.co.uk/ |

January 28 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-28T09:01:00.002Z

January 28 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 | Today's AA daily reflection: "treasure of the past" is about honouring all experiences we have had in our lifetime. We are shaped and developed by every experience we have, be it good or bad. Often said, "nothing is wasted in God's economy" and whether you believe in God or not is not the issue. The issue always what have we learned and can determine as important in our life story. We learn from pain, joy and every emotion we feel. And the years when we couldn't feel anything can provide insight into how we develop as emotional and spiritual beings today...

Often in my past, I had a strong desire to be in love and love back. And I would go to any extreme to try secure the love of the girl I was with, and not really understanding how love can grow when we really listen to what is going on. I was so determined to be perfect, and be the right man for the right girl, I never listened hard enough to what she wanted or desired. So many assumptions about love, life and relationships based on hearsay, fantasy and desire, no wonder they ran for the hills… In recovery, life and love our real today…

And often in fellowship, there is another saying "look back don't stare" which is quite good and I would develop it further to "look back and learn and let go the old, and make space for new ways of living." Letting go our old behaviour and releasing ourselves from old ideas and hangups we make room and develop courage, faith and confidence to live in new ways which fit with our feelings and coping with the real life situation as it is today…

A morning meeting, where there is no chair and people simply share about what is on their mind today. The richness of experience shared may be about today, at the same time the "treasure of the past," our history and experiences reflect how we cope and deal with our feelings as they are happening. Emotional and spiritual, the very essence of our fellowship, where we learn how to deal with our feelings and the feelings of others in the moment so we can cope with reality and work together today…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Listening is an action, to listen before we judge, to listen and clarify "How are you feeling?" Is our chance to ask if we can help, not to swamp another with our world, listen.. ask, then share.. [Mark Twain "Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often." -/-]

[John F. Kennedy "There are risks and costs to action. But they are far less than the long range risks of comfortable inaction."-/-]

Open, honest and willing: Are we consistent inside and out, or does our denial filter, the inner voice chatters and judges...[William Shakespeare "Suit the action to the word, the word to the action." -/-]

[Mohandas Gandhi "Action is no less necessary than thought to the instinctive tendencies of the human frame." -/-]

Perception is our feeling and thinking, intuitive and logical as we are gifted..[Albert Einstein "There is no logical way to the discovery of these elemental laws. There is only the way of intuition, which is helped by a feeling for the order lying behind the appearance." -/-]

[Plato "Wonder is the feeling of the philosopher, and philosophy begins in wonder." -/-]

Spiritual, simply is being in the moment, experiencing 'now'..[Voltaire "What then do you call your soul? What idea have you of it? You cannot of yourselves, without revelation, admit the existence within you of anything but a power unknown to you of feeling and thinking."-/-]

[Ernest Holmes "Prayer is a thought, a belief, a feeling, arising within the mind of the one praying." -/-]

"We conceal it from ourselves in vain - we must always love something. In those matters seemingly removed from love, the feeling is secretly to be found, and man cannot possibly live for a moment without it." Blaise Pascal

"It is not the language of painters but the language of nature which one should listen to, the feeling for the things themselves, for reality is more important than the feeling for pictures." Vincent Van Gogh

Acceptance of how I am today. The consequences of living longer? Gaining wisdom of life one day at a time, what is possible and not possible? Life is neither fair nor unfair. That hard work and endeavour is our journey with joy and sadness thrown together side by side, serenity always in the moment of now...

AA Daily: THE TREASURE OF THE PAST ~ JANUARY 28, showing others who suffer how we were given help is the very thing which makes life seem so worthwhile to us now. Cling to the thought that, in God’s hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 124

What a gift it is for me to realize that all those seemingly useless years were not wasted. The most degrading and humiliating experiences turn out to be the most powerful tools in helping others to recover. In knowing the depths of shame and despair, I can reach out with a loving and compassionate hand, and know that the grace of God is available to me.

-/-

January 27 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-27T10:07:00.002Z

January 27 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 | AA daily reflection: "Freedom from guilt." When I read this this morning it reminds me of how I was back in the day and I am today, "that was then and this is now." We do live in a blame culture, just listen to politicians "they did it." Recovery is all about new living and being in the moment of now, learning what works now and coping with reality today…

Anyone can adopt the "blame angle" or live the "spiritual angle." The blame angle: all about finding fault and pointing the finger at ourselves or others. The spiritual angle: living in the moment and looking for the solutions and coping with reality. Our step six defects, keep us in the problem of fear and guilt. Our step seven shortcomings, not enough courage, faith and confidence can be developed as we look to the solutions each and every day…

The truth of now is always changing, around people places and things. What seemed cutting-edge solutions yesterday become redundant as life and society moves along. As we learn the truth each day of how life is, we develop an outlook of life changing always and never standing still. Going with the flow and moving along in the present moment offers hope day by day…

Sometimes we do get stuck in the past, or simply feel that life is against us. And probably it was. Realising the extent of what has happened in terms of tragedy or success, loss and grief or surprise and joy can take time. We do need to deal with our feelings about the past so we can live more comfortably in the present. Acceptance of life on life's terms, and acknowledging every feeling or emotion along the way means we keep on learning and developing a balanced outlook as we may…

"I can love a person and cherish them and still find their behaviour horrible and even hateful" I know we always get judged by what we do and sometimes anyone of us can fall short of ideal way of living. "I love you, but when you behave like that I cannot stand it" when we say it like that we don't undermine a person's self-esteem, we just tell them their behaviour is not working for us. People in love, keep learning love, people who've been hurt often keep learning to hurt themselves and others. Always progress never perfection… Forgive everyone everything!

DonInLondon 2005-2011

I am not my job, I am not my house, I am not my car. How we feel about ourselves, our self-esteem is an inside job ~ Rita Mae Brown "About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won't like you at all." -/-

Expectations are resentments under construction. As I start my day, I ask myself, how am I feeling, why and what can I do? And then step one, two and three. Powerless over, restored to sanity, let go and let in the world, serenity ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson "The years teach much which the days never know." -/-

Acceptance of how I am today and the consequences of living longer… Gaining wisdom of life one day at a time, what is possible and not possible? Life is neither fair nor unfair. That hard work and endeavour is our journey with joy and sadness thrown together side by side, serenity always in the moment of now...

Every day I try start with an open mind, be honest and willing to learn ~ Socrates "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing." -/- Always the more I know, the less I know... Wisdom is a daily learning experience and never knowing what is right for you!

AA Daily: FREEDOM FROM GUILT ~ JANUARY 27 where other people were concerned, we had to drop the word “blame” from our speech and thought. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 47

When I become willing to accept my own powerlessness, I begin to realize that blaming me for all the trouble in my life can be an ego trip back into hopelessness. Asking for help and listening deeply to the messages inherent in the Steps and Traditions of the program make it possible to change those attitudes which delay my recovery. Before joining A.A., I had such a desire for approval from people in powerful positions that I was willing to sacrifice myself, and others, to gain a foothold in the world. I invariably came to grief. In the program I find true friends who love, understand, and care to help me learn the truth about myself. With the help of the Twelve Steps, I am able to build a better life, free of guilt and the need for self-justification.

-/-

January 26 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-26T08:51:00.002Z

January 26 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 | AA daily reflections: "rigorous honesty" in my experience has become a way of life. Understanding the truth of today means I need not make assumptions that what worked yesterday will work today. Indeed life is progress and to be lived in the moment. An open mind and no assumptions or expectations means it is unlikely that there are resentments under construction…

Living life in the moment, aware of our surroundings and what is going on means all our senses are working to cope with reality as it is, not what we want it to be and often not what we need it to be. Working with what is, the truth of our situation and the people around us, means we can respond and react as everything changes moment by moment…

My step six defects, putting on a brave face, fear without foundation will tend to make me hide from finding out the truth. Once I sacrifice the truth of my situation, or cannot see the truth in my situation the outcomes and consequences are not good. My step seven shortcomings of courage, faith and confidence grow when I find truth. It may take me a while to accept my situation, at the same time my actions and consequences improve today…

Being tough and tenacious in the right place at the right time can be a very difficult call. If we are working alone and there are no consequences for anyone else this may be appropriate. Most often, tough and tenacious when dealing with others and their involvement needs to be a team decision and not my decision alone! We don't know better for other people, life is compromise and understanding…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

No need to hide or fear much of anything today. First Principle in new sober living, open honest and willing to change our attitude and behaviour ~ Thomas Jefferson "Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom." -/- First Step to life choices...

Every day I try start with an open mind, be honest and willing to learn ~ Socrates "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing." -/- Always the more I know, the less I know... Wisdom is a daily learning experience and never knowing what is right for you!

I'm on the road to? I have always known in a thinking way that it is the journey and not the destination which is important. Endurance can be a fine quality and expression through action. If my thinking says "I will be okay when I get there" I forget what good I have today emotionally and spiritually with friends, family and community. What matters is "now" wherever the road leads...

Our lives change in recovery, changes can be painful or joyful or simply a mixture of both. In fellowship we learn how to celebrate our new living, and to grieve for a life we leave behind, "the alcoholic or addict we were" ~ Anatole France "All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." -/-

Step One "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable"

AA Daily: RIGOROUS HONESTY ~ JANUARY 26, who wishes to be rigorously honest and tolerant? Who wants to confess his faults to another and make restitution for harm done? Who cares anything about a Higher Power, let alone meditation and prayer? Who wants to sacrifice time and energy in trying to carry A.A.’s message to the next sufferer? No, the average alcoholic, self-centered in the extreme, doesn’t care for this prospect – unless he has to do these things in order to stay alive himself. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 24

I am an alcoholic. If I drink I will die. My, what power, energy, and emotion this simple statement generates in me! But it’s really all I need to know for today. Am I willing to stay alive today? Am I willing to stay sober today? Am I willing to ask for help and am I willing to be a help to another suffering alcoholic today? Have I discovered the fatal nature of my situation? What must I do, today, to stay sober?

-/-

January 25 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-25T08:29:00.000Z

January 25 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 | AA Fellowship basics: as an individual to be open honest and willing one day to time. In fellowship to be steadfast in unity, service and recovery, and again one day to time. And if we are diligent we make progress and do not seek perfection. Attraction, what you see is what you get "WYSIWYG" rather than promotion which is a guarantee or a fix and is impossible one day at a time…

Nobody is perfect and on a daily basis it is very difficult to be perfect in our open honest and willing behaviour. Indeed a BBC news bulletin suggests based on broad studies that the individual is less honest because there is a lack of role models in all walks of life, in particular in politics and industry, community and religious leaders. I have learned it is not what others do, it is what I do today…

Tradition three: the principal of inclusion rather than exclusion from fellowship. The only requirement a desire to stop drinking means the door is always open to anyone with a desire to quit, and that we are all equal in fellowship. There is no hierarchy and we will speak with an equal voice in our group conscience. This is what kept me coming back to share and listen to experience strength and hope, learning what I can do and cannot do today…

Contingent on my asking for help, my spiritual condition "being able to cope with reality" is likely to be more balanced than reverting to old behaviour. Step six, defects of character and old behaviour can emerge in the blink of an eye when things are difficult. Step seven, my shortcomings of courage and faith and confidence in doing the next right thing can improve if I pause, reflect and then respond rather than reacting as I might have in the old days… Every day I can be at sixes and sevens with life…

I have learned the difference between "isolation" and "solitude." Isolation from the world when I'm hurt and fearful makes me want to shut down and ignore the reality of now. Solitude on the other hand, is time on my own where I enjoy reflection and meditation, or simply reading a book or watching a film or TV. Isolation can be me in the grip of fear or depression. Solitude enjoying individual pastimes when opportunity arises…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

"Needs and Wants," acceptance is learning the difference, needs met wants forgotten? ~ Gail Sheehy "Would that there were an award for people who come to understand the concept of enough. Good enough. Successful enough. Thin enough. Rich enough. Socially responsible enough. When you have self-respect, you have enough." -/- Humility is essential in learning life every day and just for today...

Step One "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable"

AA Daily: WHAT WE NEED – EACH OTHER ~ JANUARY 25, A.A. is really saying to every serious drinker, “You are an A.A. member if you say so . . . nobody can keep you out.” TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 139

For years, whenever I reflected on Tradition Three (“The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking”), I thought it valuable only to newcomers. It was their guarantee that no one could bar them from A.A. Today I feel enduring gratitude for the spiritual development the Tradition has brought me. I don’t seek out people obviously different from myself. Tradition Three, concentrating on the one way I am similar to others, brought me to know and help every kind of alcoholic, just as they have helped me. Charlotte, the atheist, showed me higher standards of ethics and honour; Clay, of another race, taught me patience; Winslow, who is gay, led me by example into true compassion; Young Megan says that seeing me at meetings, sober thirty years, keeps her coming back. Tradition Three insured that we would get what we need – each other.

-/-

January 24 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-24T14:17:00.004Z

January 24 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 | Wonderful lunchtime meeting of the fellowship yesterday at the Methodist Church on the Kings road here in London: uplifting gave me a feeling of happiness and serenity. The chair all about how the twelve steps work and translate into living truthfully day by day by being open, honest and willing to keep learning one day to time. All about having the humility to keep learning and being ourselves making progress and not trying to be perfect…

And today a trip out with my sister: to see the "Hockney Exhibition" at the Royal Academy in Piccadilly. To be with my sister, courtesy of a wonderful friend helping me with other matters allowed us to see and enjoy the exhibition and then pop over the road to Fortnum and Mason to buy marmalade for my mum. A beautiful and humbling experience in all respects: and an appreciation of an artist's work. Balanced and level feelings, exciting moments and much laughter, I feel really good on this grim rainy day…

Today's daily reflection all about unity, service and recovery: Mainly focusing on service. Practising these principles in all my living means I get courage and faith, building my confidence daily by being helpful and not a hindrance to people in my life today…

Unity in fellowship translates to me being in the “big” community where I can be of service or simply be helpful when people need help. And recovery means I make free choices based on real life situations and can see more clearly what I can and cannot do today…

I must add that service in the community means I need understand there is a limit to how much I can do. Or I run the risk of being overwhelmed and overcommitted. It is difficult to say no, something Gandhi said, "an emphatic no is better than a half-hearted yes." Recovery is very much about balancing our activities on a daily basis, and "no" is a complete sentence…

In my early days in recovery I kept doing more and more service, there were elements of shame and guilt about past times where I could not see beyond my own dreadful situation and how it disturbed family and friends. Today I can say yes to the things in a balanced way and know when I have no energy or capacity to be of use or just useful to others…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

A long time ago I realised I do love deeply and at the same time can love and hate behaviour in me and others, now learning to cherish and forgive always.. ~ Emily Dickinson "Behaviour is what a man or woman does, not what he or she thinks, feels, or believes." -/- We all learn in our own time if time permits…

AA Daily: GETTING INVOLVED January 24 ~ There is action and more action. “Faith without works is dead.” . . . To be helpful is our only aim. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS , pp. 88-89

I understand that service is a vital part of recovery but I often wonder, “What can I do?” Simply start with what I have today! I look around to see where there is a need. Are the ashtrays full? Do I have hands and feet to empty them? Suddenly I’m involved! The best speaker may make the worst coffee; the member who’s best with newcomers may be unable to read; the one willing to clean up may make a mess of the bank account -yet every one of these people and jobs is essential to an active group. The miracle of service is this: when I use what I have, I find there is more available to me than I realized before.

-/-

January 23 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-23T09:46:00.002Z

January 23 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 | AA daily reflection is all about, "are we having fun yet?" We're not a glum lot is the assertion I heard in early days and read in the daily reflections. I did see people having fun, heard them talk about fun times they were having. It took a while to believe them, and then an inkling of change in me began. Happy as my situation could be, and sad when my situation was sad. Real feelings happening in the moment of now…

Those early days, it was very difficult to understand that addiction was not a choice. That addiction could happen to anyone. Guilt, shame and deep hurt inside kept me stuck in the darkness for an age. Building courage, faith and confidence took a long while and a deeper understanding of "the human condition" and that redemption was possible one day at a time…

I need understand that the twelve steps are an active way of living life and step one, "I am powerless over alcohol, people places and things, and that life will become unmanageable if I take a drink or believe I can bend the world to my will." At the same time, I have freedom of choice based on my real situation today, and coping with reality is indeed my spiritual path…

Last night I was asked to chair my home group meeting. I shared my experience strength and hope of recovery over the last few years. As people shared back, I was listening for the similarities and not the differences. I heard the principles and experiences of living a new way. Each person unique and authentic on their life path able to share the truth as it is today. And then fun emerges, and indeed we are not a glum lot. Then hot chocolate with friends, laughter and sadness, serious and fun sharing about life today…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

I generally go to AA, and if there were no AA I would go to NA and if there were no NA, I would go to CA and I went to OA by mistake and they were very friendly... I had and have a desire to stop self harm, so I may work with whatever works. People are people in fellowship, inclusive and not exclusive, same steps, same principles, same suggestions, similarities and not the differences? People, change our behaviour…

Sober we can love, be loved and cherish ~ Anais Nin "Anxiety is love's greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic." And that is why I feel we need lean on fellowship and not individuals...

Step One "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable"

AA Daily: HAVING FUN YET? JANUARY 23. We aren’t a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn’t want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life. We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the world’s troubles on our shoulders. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 132

When my own house is in order, I find the different parts of my life are more manageable. Stripped from the guilt and remorse that dogged my drinking years, I am free to assume my proper role in the universe, but this condition requires maintenance. I should stop and ask myself, “Am I having fun yet?” If I find answering that question difficult or painful, perhaps I’m taking myself too seriously – and finding it difficult to admit that I’ve strayed from my practice of working the program to keep my house in order. I think the pain I experience is one way my Higher Power has to get my attention, coaxing me to take stock of my performance. The slight time and effort it takes to work the program – a spot-check inventory, for example, or the making of amends, whatever is appropriate – are well worth the effort.

-/-

January 22 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-22T10:30:00.004Z

January 22 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 | Today's AA daily reflection: "let's keep it simple," said Dr Bob to Bill. And, "let's not louse things up." Fellowship: no rules, no laws or regulations to prevent individual recovery by exclusion. The individual comes first and at the same time the “group conscience” is the decision-making process.

All my life until I got recovery, I was very much a loner and not a joiner to anything. As I read the twelve steps and twelve traditions, I realised here is a society which believes and values of unity, service and recovery. This gave me the comfort to be involved and included in something far, far bigger than me…

And the principles which guide me today begin with how to love, be loved back and useful in whatever capacity I choose in the direction my life can take. I never realised I could choose and be free to choose the direction my life can take. Of course I need follow a path which is realistic and based on reality as it is, not a fantasy or based on something I feel I might have deserved…

Yesterday's spiritual lunchtime meeting, in the spiritual hut next to the spiritual hall of remembrance was brilliant. A fantastic chair and sharing about: dealing with our emotions as they happen, rather than pushing them away and denying the feelings. I concluded I do really have feelings today, experience them as the very essence of living a spiritual existence. Feelings fitting my reality and guiding my thoughts and actions day by day…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Marianne Faithfull, "I think drugs were used by me as a way of suppressing my natural spirit." -/-. Learning life a day at a time, I learn what I can do and cannot do, the wisdom to know the difference. My feelings more often fit the moment of now as nature intended, no need to fix me or you today...

Step One "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable"

AA Daily: LET'S KEEP IT SIMPLE ~ JANUARY 22, A few hours later I took my leave of Dr. Bob… The wonderful, old, broad smile was on his face as he said almost jokingly, “Remember, Bill, let’s not louse this thing up. Let’s keep it simple!” I turned away, unable to say a word. That was the last time I ever saw him. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS COMES OF AGE, p 214

After years of sobriety I occasionally ask myself: “Can it be this simple?” Then, at meetings, I see former cynics and sceptics who have walked the A.A. path out of hell by packaging their lives, without alcohol, into twenty-four hour segments, during which they practice a few principles to the best of their individual abilities. And then I know again that, while it isn’t always easy, if I keep it simple, it works.

-/-

January 21 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-21T09:41:00.002Z

January 21 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 | Two meetings yesterday: morning "just for today," and in the evening "courage to change." Living in the moment of now where everything happens is not easy for any human being. Memories of the past and future dreams can impact on what we do today. If fear grips me, step six and defects may rule my actions and outlook. With faith in the next right action and consultation, step seven improves my outlook. At sixes and sevens is not unusual for anyone even in recovery…

AA daily reflections: "humility and weakness." Over the years I have come to recognise that humility is not necessarily a weakness. Humility is openness to keep learning and be even handed in our relationships. Indeed humility and vulnerability have become part of the bedrock of strong sobriety…

Service to others: all about being supportive and helpful, reminding ourselves what it is like in early days. There are no rules laws or regulations to govern anyone in our fellowship, we are all equal. We may violate each other's sensibilities by our behaviour as newcomers and old-timers, at the same time we all have a right to learn and live sober one day to time…

In a meeting recently, a phone goes off in the newcomer’s pocket. They answer as somebody else is sharing, and the phone conversation starts with "hello mum," and an old-timer says emphatically "take it outside!" The sharer, the phone call from mum, and the "take it outside" comment almost unhinges the meetings serenity… We all learn humility? I imagine some of us do…

Why a one-day programme? So we can handle our situation "right sized." Right sized in the day, where our feelings fit with reality, happy or sad as we are, accepting our feelings. Feelings impact on our thinking and actions. Feeling good, thinking good and actions likely to be good. Feeling sad, thinking sad and our actions likely to be sad… Feelings never lie, our thinking on the other hand does as denial of reality often occurs…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Recovery and Forgiveness ~ Bob Marley "Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your feelings; put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!" -/- Just For A Day!

Step One "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable"

AA Daily: SERVING MY BROTHER JANUARY 21, the member talks to the newcomer not in a spirit of power but in a spirit of humility and weakness. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS COMES OF AGE p. 279

As the days pass in A.A., I ask God to guide my thoughts and the words that I speak. In this labour of continuous participation in the Fellowship, I have numerous opportunities to speak. So I frequently ask God to help me watch over my thoughts and my words, that they may be the true and proper reflections of our program; to focus my aspirations once again to seek His guidance; to help me be truly kind and loving, helpful and healing, yet always filled with humility, and free from any trace of arrogance.

Today I may very well have to deal with disagreeable attitudes or utterances — the typical stock-in-trade attitude of the still-suffering alcoholic. If this should happen, I will take a moment to centre myself in God, so that I will be able to respond from a perspective of composure, strength and sensibility.

January 20 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-20T07:51:00.002Z

January 20 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 | AA daily reflections, "we pause and ask for help…" An alien concept; in my drinking days and how I was educated. Back then in the day, standing on my own two feet, a brave face and stiff upper lip. Today, asking for help and pausing and reflecting long enough to improve my situation and spiritual condition is second nature to me…

The simple moment of clarity, when I realised I could not stop drinking on my own could have paralysed me yet again. And that life could get no worse somehow was a relief because I was still alive. The first trudge into acceptance and picking up the phone and asking for help was enlightenment…

Early days, the first ninety where thirsty moments produced fear and anguish, started to fade and as each day passed, there were light and dark moments and both light and dark moments became good reasons to talk sharing experience, strength and hope about the reality of recovery…

Sometimes we classify ourselves as newcomers and old-timers. I quite like and feel comfortable being a "day timer." One day at a time, anything can happen and being aware that I don't know the answers means I can ask the help, pause and reflect and make sure that at least my spiritual condition is developing as I cope with reality…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

In recovery we find our feelings fit the experience we are having. We feel life as it is right now, happy or sad, in love or out of love. We lose our irrational fears about life, we live reality. We can learn how to live our real life, and not a fantasy one day at a time today...

Step One "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable"

AA Daily: WE PAUSE . . . AND ASK JANUARY 20, As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.87

Today I humbly ask my Higher Power for the grace to find the space between my impulse and my action; to let flow a cooling breeze when I would respond with heat; to interrupt fierceness with gentle peace; to accept the moment which allows judgment to become discernment; to defer to silence when my tongue would rush to attack or defend. I promise to watch for every opportunity to turn toward my Higher Power for guidance. I know where this power is: it resides within me, as clear as a mountain brook, hidden in the hills – it is the unsuspected Inner Resource. I thank my Higher Power for this world of light and truth I see when I allow it to direct my vision. I trust it today and hope it trusts me to make all effort to find the right thought or action today.

-/-

January 19 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-19T10:10:00.003Z

January 19 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 | A wonderful discussion with my dentist all about neuro-linguistic programming NLP, and how dentistry and NLP help plan patient needs through time. A lively debate followed on matters to do with how the brain works, which was part of my old profession. It was quite exciting, and me sharing about AA and how the 12 steps work… The 12 steps for me a natural progression back to reality and living in the day…

What is spiritual? I realise that we all see spiritual similarly and yet we often miss the spiritual angle to living. Every moment where we can see the truth of now, live in the moment and cope with reality is my best understanding so far. Living in reality: coping with it where feelings fit the experience, thinking and actions working. That is a tall order! As the past and the future can upset our balance at any time…

Today's AA daily, "about round-the-clock faith." From Webster's dictionary, "Faith, firm belief in something for which there is no proof: complete trust…" Back in the day, fear in isolation kept me in the dark and I had no faith in me or anyone, let alone a higher power. Step three in the program helped me to let go and let the world into my life…

I know I cannot define God, nor would I wish to because I cannot understand how nature and providence has made the world. Truly, as many say "God works through people," then letting go knowing everything, means I can ask for help about anything. It works, one day at a time. When I cannot work it out for myself, I now know asking for help is strength and not weakness…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Three measures: To what extent do we cherish people in our lives? To what extent are we indifferent? To what extent are we superficial? As we treat others, we treat ourselves, as we treat others they too work with how we are. We get as good as we give; every day is different as we learn to live life...

Step One "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable"

"God [it is what we understand to be God or a "Higher Power"] grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot, Courage to Change the things I can and the Wisdom to Know the Difference" God is Truth Love and Wisdom in the moment of now...

AA Daily: ROUND-THE-CLOCK FAITH JANUARY 19 Faith has to work twenty-four hours a day in and through us, or we perish. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.16

The essence of my spiritually, and my sobriety, rests on a round-the-clock faith in a Higher Power. I need to remember and rely on the God of my understanding as I pursue all of my daily activities. How comforting for me is the concept that God works in and through people. As I pause in my day, do I recall specific concrete examples of God’s presence? Am I amazed and uplifted by the number of times this power is evident? I am overwhelmed with gratitude for my God’s presence in my life of recovery. Without this omnipotent force in my every activity, I would again fall into the depths of my disease – and death.

-/-

January 18 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-18T10:18:00.002Z

January 18 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 | Today's AA daily reflection, "would a drink help?" Back in the day, I did not have that level of awareness about my drinking habits. I simply drank pretty much most evenings and weekends because it was part of my daily routine…

Back in my drinking days, most of the people I knew and my family simply drank alcohol as and when we felt like it. When we felt like it, is the key. Feeling happy, drink, feeling sad, drink and feeling like a drink, drink. A drinking habit, just like everybody we knew. The difference for me, it was not only habit, it became addiction and I didn't know I was there in the addiction until I was…

Before I became an addict, there was ignorance of my situation and condition. Then as the truth unfolds, we find ourselves in denial because it simply won't do for us to be alcoholic. A natural and normal reaction to a problem with our best friend, "alcohol"…

I know today I am powerless over alcohol and if I take a drink life will become unmanageable and horrible. Today I don't need to drink, because I have learned to cope with reality, with the help and support of people around me. Taking a drink or even thinking a drink might help is not really an option anymore.

Letting go my best friend, a substance rather than a human being is the best outcome I could ever imagine. How on earth could it ever have come to pass that a substance would replace human contact? It did, is what I know today…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

The AA tool kit ~ so many components and always utilised in our own unique way for a day. Bed rock skills for life, I was reminded in the meeting that three utilities fit all situations: 1. Truth, learning the truth as it happens 2. Love, learning how to love and be loved 3. Wisdom, from experience and most often wisdom shared. Three of many tools today…

Newcomers meeting tonight: 90 minutes, all the trimmings. All the newcomers left at 60 minutes. I wondered why, then reminded myself how I was at newcomer meetings as a newcomer, listening to the answer to all my problems today, I listened to the differences, I was not an alcoholic, "they were" I was just taking a break from drink in a difficult life...

Step One "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable"

AA Daily ~ WOULD A DRINK HELP? 18 Jan 2012 By going back in our drinking histories, we could show that years before we realized it we were out of control, that our drinking even then was no mere habit, that was indeed the beginning of a fatal progression. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 23

When I was still drinking, I couldn’t respond to any of life’s situations the way other, more healthy, people could. The smallest incident triggered a state of mind that believed I had to have a drink to numb my feelings. But the numbing did not improve the situation, so I sought further escape in the bottle. Today I must be aware of my alcoholism. I cannot afford to believe that I have gained control of my drinking – or again I will think I have gained control of my life. Such a feeling of control is fatal to my recovery.

January 17 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-17T09:30:00.002Z

January 17 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 | Today's daily reflection from AA "happiness comes quietly" suggests I knew what happiness was in the first place. Before recovery, I seemed driven to produce happiness and control it. It was not a conscious thing with me; it was buried deep inside, a longing for another moment of tranquillity.

The moments of tranquillity in all my life were very scarce. I didn't know much about my feelings or emotions. My understanding of love tainted by my life experience and what I thought love was. I certainly did love, on reflection though it was very needy rather than simply a state of being.

As the Beatles song went "all you need is love" seemed obvious to the world. But it isn't obvious if love has been missing in action. Missing in action for many years, love is elusive if we ever felt it, and if we can only think love, it remains a thought and not feeling. Fear of being loved, and not able to love back was a useless state of affairs…

Sometimes we hear the quote "most folks are as happy as they make up their mind to be" suggests we can think it so, rather than live it as it is. Most folks are happy when happiness is happening, where feelings fit the experience of now. Manufactured happiness? Not for me. I prefer happy or sad as the moment is. And we can be happy as life affords.

I am more aware these days of my delusions and daydreams about love. The ability to love, be loved back and useful is always in the moment of now. Love does happen naturally and need never be forced indeed we cannot force anything, powerless over feelings, we just think we know better some of the time until we really know what feelings are…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

From feeling like I knew all the answers to living or how to find them, I found I no clue how to stop killing myself with alcohol. I took myself to the brink of extinction more than once. When all else failed, I asked for help and found recovery. Humility and asking keeps me alive for today...

Daily Reflections AA ~ HAPPINESS COMES QUIETLY JANUARY 17, 2012 The trouble with us alcoholics was this: We demanded that the world give us happiness and peace of mind in just the particular order we wanted to get it – by the alcohol route. And we weren’t successful. But when we take time to find out some of the spiritual laws, and familiarize ourselves with them, and put them into practice, then we do get happiness and peace of mind. . . There seem to be some rules that we have to follow, but happiness and peace of mind are always here, open and free to anyone. DR. BOB AND THE GOOD OLDTIMERS, p. 308

The simplicity of the A.A. program teaches me that happiness isn’t something I can “demand.” It comes upon me quietly, while I serve others. In offering my hand to the newcomer or to someone who has relapsed, I find that my own sobriety has been recharged with indescribable gratitude and happiness.

-/-

January 16 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-16T09:06:00.002Z

January 16 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 | Today's AA daily reflection: "hitting rock bottom" insists that we must hit rock bottom if we are to completely surrender to a new way of living. Nobody suggested or insisted I hit rock bottom, but I was pulled up short when asked, "How many more rock bottom experiences do you need before you get the message?"

As an active alcoholic I may have heard the expression "rock bottom" and had some inkling of what it meant. Most likely a place where life could get no more difficult and no worse, whatever way we might look at our situation. A completely desolate place of existence, no inner resource left inside me, put down and done…

I can remember going to a rehab centre after I thought I had reached rock bottom only to find that the staff were determined to make sure I was at rock bottom by tormenting me further. After months in the rehab centre I left with anger, rage and hate. Bullying people to death is not rehabilitation; it's a death sentence…

At rock bottom we have been hurt by life and by our own hands. My own experience is, hurt people can hurt more people in order to prove a point. Thank goodness fellowship is all about learning how to love, be loved back and useful one day at a time…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Listening to another share their compassion and concern for another who had deeply wounded their spirit for many years gave me a feeling of joy that redemption is possible, forgiveness is real in the most extreme moments, and being human we can all learn as time affords. Seeing people grow into their true selves is a real joy today...

HITTING BOTTOM ~ JANUARY 16, 2012 Why all this insistence that every A.A. must hit bottom first? The answer is that few people will sincerely try to practice the A.A. program unless they have hit bottom. For practicing A.A.’s remaining eleven Steps means the adoption of attitudes and actions that almost no alcoholic who is still drinking can dream of taking. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 24

Hitting bottom opened my mind and I became willing to try something different. What I tried was A.A. My new life in the Fellowship was a little like learning how to ride a bike for the first time: A.A. became my training wheels and my supporting hand. It’s not that I wanted the help so much at the time; I simply did not want to hurt like that again. My desire to avoid hitting bottom again was more powerful than my desire to drink. In the beginning that was what kept me sober. But after a while I found myself working the Steps to the best of my ability. I soon realized that my attitudes and actions were changing – if ever so slightly. One Day at a Time, I became comfortable with myself, and others, and my hurting started to heal. Thank God for the training wheels and supporting hand that I choose to call Alcoholics Anonymous.

-/-

January 15 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-15T11:03:00.002Z

January 15 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 | AA daily reflections: "tapping our inner resource, the power within?" I do believe we have choices in life, and we all make judgements about what is good for us. We keep learning and making mistakes all day long, some with little impact and some with great impact for ourselves and everyone we know. Humility will keep me learning and changing the good, fear and a brave face will keep me hiding and ego will encourage me to cover up. Spot check inventories will keep me learning rather than hiding one day at a time…

And the power within is always limited to what we know up to this point in time. In fellowship I keep learning as each moment passes and each person I meet provides me with new knowledge and ways to live my life today. My power within is always connected to the greater power of the universe; and learning from everyone and everything around me. Making progress never perfect, life is a wonderful calamity lived in the moment where everything happens…

Nature and Providence offer the opportunity to keep on learning, lifting me up rather than putting me down. I need no power over anything these days, life is as it may be and choices are made in the moment. Better choices with inclusion, humility, fearlessness and asking for help. Doctrine and dogma will cut me down and limit me to a point of view. I need be open honest and willing to listen to the world today and not be limited by what I want and unhelpful conventions created by others…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Step One "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable"

"God [if this is what we understand to be God or a "Higher Power"] grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot, Courage to Change the things I can and the Wisdom to Know the Difference" God is Truth Love and Wisdom in the moment of now...

AN UNSUSPECTED INNER RESOURCE With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 569-70

From my first days in A.A., as I struggled for sobriety, I found hope in these words from our founders. I often pondered the phrase: “they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource.” How, I asked myself, can I find the Power within myself, since I am so powerless? In time, as the founders promised, it came to me: I have always had the choice between goodness and evil, between unselfishness and selfishness, between serenity and fear. That Power greater than myself is an original gift that I did not recognize until I achieved daily sobriety through living A.A.’s Twelve Steps.

-/-

January 14 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-14T19:53:00.002Z

January 14 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 | AA daily reflections "no regrets, we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it" fits very well with my day to day experience. Just today meeting yesterday, full of hope, sorrow and joy all mixed together as we shared experience strength and hope.

And today, nothing is wasted seemed to be part of our theme in the spiritual experience meeting. To thine own self be true, let go of the past and by accepting what has happened, it must be about today. Many recollections of beginning and being a newcomer, living in the moment and neither dwelling on past, or wishing for the future. All about now and what we can and cannot do.

"We will be rocketed into the fourth dimension" seemed often to be about tomorrow or some future time. What it means for me, rocketed into the fourth dimension is simply living in the moment and being aware of how I feel, why and what can I do for life to be okay even when terrible events happen.

Sober life is all about now. Anger and resentment is always now if we feel it now. When I came to AA, I had a mountain of anger and resentment, and with the help of the steps and fellows in fellowship I was able to deal with the past. No regrets and all experiences necessary for me to be who I am today.

I can look back, and need not stare balefully at the past. I can recollect wonderful love, to be able to love and be loved back. Cherish always and when we find it difficult, reminding myself I can love people and not always find their behaviour helpful. Love people, understand why they may behave the way they do…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Tonight over a hundred alcoholics in recovery jam packed into a small meeting room learning how to love, be loved and useful again, just for a day. To forgive, stop self hate and hating the answer which is... fellowship. We can learn to love, change our behaviour from hateful to loving, learn who we are just for a day without a drink inside us. Enough love to stop the old ways and start again today, open honest and willing to change. Secrets keep us stuck....

Step One "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable"

"God [it is what we understand to be God or a "Higher Power"] grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot, Courage to Change the things I can and the Wisdom to Know the Difference" God is Truth Love and Wisdom in the moment of now...

-/-

January 13 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-13T09:48:00.002Z

January 13 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

A brilliant chair at after eights last night. Newcomers and old timers and medium timers, and one day at a time timers! Our gift is each other, with news from the front line, reality of addiction, to agitation at decades sober, and serenity in the moment when we can live to truth of now and cope with it in the moment. Now how blinking brilliant is that?

We are not cured, we have a life worth living contingent on our spiritual condition… And its Friday 13th. Whenever I chat to my mother on the phone, she often ends the call with the remark “keep a sharp look out.” A very Yorkshire phrase, so I usually do keep a sharp look out, one day at a time…

All the steps are about living as well as we may today. Learning what we can and cannot do. The wisdom is learned all day long. And it is never about getting my way, its about the quality of everything that happens. Good quality “bad” feels as good as good quality “good,” because I get to learn from all elements of living in this one day at a time…

I expressed my feelings about pain and the broken wisdom tooth. The pain has subsided with antibiotics and I feel more able to cope with life, my spiritual condition was not impaired by the pain, it was a reminder not to procrastinate too long before seeking proper professional help on an issue the steps help me deal with on a daily basis. When I feel it, expression helps me make decisions in the moment, and not dally on false hope today!

DonInLondon 2005-2011

absolutely brilliant meetings today: “newcomers” in Portobello and Kings Rd tonight. “Spiritual lunch” followed by “the nuts and bolts” tonight. When adults in recovery have children with the malady it is difficult. We know no single human can relieve us of this malady, yet parent or not we can forget step one so quickly…

Step One "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable"

Living sober | Not for profit or personal gain |

January 12 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-12T09:59:00.002Z

January 12 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 | Daily Reflections "Accepting our present circumstances" All about step 1. Powerless and unmanageable! Yes, no and maybe come to mind, because I still want some of my own will to work on the rest of the world... Every time I try impose self will over reality which may not be to my liking, my life becomes a loop of growing anger and resentment... Better to get a grip on reality and then see what my choices are today.

I can have a cunitbollockarsehole of a day when I feel angry and sorrowful about my plight, or I can have a more serene day accepting that the starting point may wind me up somewhat, computer buggered, wisdom tooth buggered, and having to wait for solutions? No! Do what I can, know what I cannot do, and keep learning the cuntibollock wisdom to know the difference...

Dear higher power, thank you very much for sharing how it feels to have wisdom teeth, and especially how it feels for others who have had to endure pain because of them. I have the greatest respect for my ancestors who jumped off high cliffs to their deaths as a result... tooth pain is not the touchstone of my spiritual growth today...

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Today all about page 83 in the big book, "the spiritual life is not a theory, we have to live it" In family, work and community, I know how I am feeling and what to do. I can be assertive, and still see the big picture of "thy will" taking account of everyone and how we are all feeling

today... calm prevails with positive actions

-/-

ACCEPTING OUR PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES JANUARY 12, 2012

Our very first problem is to accept our present circumstances as they are, ourselves as we are, and the people about us as they are. This is to adopt a realistic humility without which no genuine advance can even begin. Again and again, we shall need to return to that unflattering point of departure. This is an exercise in acceptance that we can profitably practice every day of our lives. Provided we strenuously avoid turning these realistic surveys of the facts of life into unrealistic alibis for apathy or defeatism, they can be the sure foundation upon which increased emotional health and therefore spiritual progress can be built. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 44

January 11 | AA 12 Steps In Action |2012 |

2012-01-11T12:55:00.002Z

January 11 | AA 12 Steps In Action |2012 |

We need laugh sometimes, powerless over my wisdom tooth, infected and needs extraction by a specialist or life will become unmanageable...

Today’s Daily Reflection is about step one, the 100% step. A good reminder that step one is also contingent on me being vigilant and calm in the face of adversity. I need not fear what will happen, nor be put off by dental surgery required at the hospital because of other health conditions…

Accept that antibiotics and other prescriptions are necessary to my overall wellbeing. AA is for sober living so I may take advantage of professional help from other quarters, deemed necessary by experts in their field…

Accept that my proper computer has finally broken down and life will not end because of it! And trying to fix it on my own is a bad idea! Let go and let good things happen instead, I don’t know what they are yet, but that’s okay….

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Step ten “chair” today, brilliant. Reminded me that step six defects can overload me with fear, a brave face and brittle ego, or step seven can improve my approach to life with courage faith and confidence.

Step six being resentful or seven having gratitude. Psychic change and freedom of choice today…

-/-

January 10 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-10T08:01:00.000Z

January 10 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Today's daily reflection "united we stand," the steps, to be open honest and willing, and the traditions, unity service and recovery. Steps: for personal development and traditions: to keep fellowship safe for everyone, suicide and homicide prevention one day at a time…

I didn't have a clue about how to live any more when I got to AA. And as a raw recruit, dealing with the first step, powerless over alcohol and unmanageable living was more than enough to try and understand. I could just about manage the idea of open honest and willing to learn life again, the rest confusion and put aside for later sobriety…

At first I tried to make the steps work for me, to fit with what I thought was right. And very quickly I learned, I needed to work the steps to find out what was right in the world, the truth of now, dealing with the past and learning how to live one day at a time…

We often say that we have gratitude for what the fellowship of AA does for us, forgetting that fellowship is "what you see is what you get" just for today. And just for today each group and meeting is the fellowship! Our daily basis our connection is as good as it gets. Sometimes brilliant, most of the time simply making progress and nowhere near perfect…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Kahlil Gibran "Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.'" -/- “Living In The Moment” ~ nature, providence, the universe, beyond definition… happily for me on day at a time

Unity, service and recovery keeps us safe and strong in fellowship. When asked to do service, how do we know when it is right to say yes, and right to say no?

-/-

UNITED WE STAND JANUARY 10, 2012

We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 30

I came to Alcoholics Anonymous because I was no longer able to control my drinking. It was either my wife’s complaining about my drinking, or maybe the sheriff forced me to go to A.A. meetings, or perhaps I knew, deep down inside, that I couldn’t drink like others, but I was unwilling to admit it because the alternative terrified me. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women united against a common, fatal disease. Each one of our lives is linked to every other, much like the survivors on a life raft at sea. If we all work together, we can get safely to shore.

-/-

January 9 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-09T08:16:00.002Z

January 9 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Today's AA daily reflection, all about "an act of providence" and it can be quite easy to see why any intervention which changes our lives to the good and sticks tight is surely providence. My sister threw me into a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous and this did change my life completely. I didn't like it, but it did the trick in the end…

Developing courage faith and fortitude is an act of providence. The nature of the act of providence, was acceptance that I could not beat alcoholism and that I needed help to develop an outlook of sober one day at a time. And providence was learning it's not a fight, it is a completely new way of living keeping the good and learning the new…

And as a friend of mine said last night "everything we need really is in the serenity prayer, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference" that simple and yet so complicated when we start to think about it…

A meeting last night, in the bowels of Flood Street! Crowded, hot and sweaty. A wonderful chair which reminded me I had to change my life completely and give up any idea of the old career. My new career may not be mapped into the far distant future, it's just a simple guide one day at a time, to love, be loved back and useful…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Freedom ~ Thomas Jefferson "Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life in which chance has placed us, but is always the result of a good conscience, good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits." -/-

Providence ~ “often capitalized : divine guidance or care”

-/-

January 8 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

2012-01-08T09:23:00.002Z

January 8 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Yesterday; at the hut for our lunchtime spiritual meeting. We read the spiritual experience and then a five-minute chair and raised hands. Newcomers, and old timers new to our area. Chair about acceptance of who we are today. Feels like all the meetings recently have been about courage to change as life is changing. Acceptance; of the past so important and letting go. Opening the door to let go and let the world in, asking for help when it's needed and helping others when they ask. No expectations, no resentments and a clear view to what might happen today…

Today's AA daily reflection is about "do I have a choice?" And my experience is we do have choices today. Sober and sobriety can smack of puritanism. But I didn't get sober to be a puritan; I got sober so my natural instincts would work again. The good news is my natural instincts work again; even better news is I see when other people's natural instincts are working well for them. And I also like the natural instincts of women to like men, or whatever combination floats your boat works as we live and breathe sober today…

Do I have a choice today? I wake up in the morning, as myself how am I feeling? If I feel good I am likely to be thinking good and my actions will result in good things. If I feel angry waking up, my thinking is angry and my actions are likely to be angry as well. Whatever mood I wake up with, as long as I ask myself what it is, I can influence what happens and make choices. But if I wake up with a hangover and don't think my actions may be to act out badly all day long…

I didn't get sober to be a puritan, I love being sober so I may enjoy every single aspect of nature and providence, that is my natural instincts and where life may take me today. Life is all about change, and the funny thing about acceptance is we accept what happened, and accept life is going to be changing forever. Most likely changes for the good when we know what can be done, like to do, and can do each and every day. Can do and cannot do and wisdom to know the difference today… Now how hard is that?

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Powerless over People Places Things ~ Henry David Thoreau "Nature puts no question and answers none which we mortals ask. She has long ago taken her resolution." -/-

Open honest and willing… freedom living in the moment of now

Freedom ~ Thomas Jefferson "Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life in which chance has placed us, but is always the result of a good conscience, good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits." -/-

Powerless over People Places Things ~ Henry David Thoreau "Nature puts no question and answers none which we mortals ask. She has long ago taken her resolution." -/- Open honest and willing.. freedom living in the moment of now

Inner Calm ~ "The greater the demands on us, the more we need to sustain our inner calm and stability." -/- God Is Truth ~ God Works Through People ~ God Is Love ~ Listen To The Inner Voice, Listen To Others, Love In The Moment...

What is the worst thing that can happen when there is a newcomer in one of our meetings?

January 7 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2012-01-07T09:21:00.002Z

January 7 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

Today's daily reflection from AA "we stood at the turning point" I don't know how many times I stood at the turning point, it was an all or nothing thing for me. Always “all in:” career, relationships around people in the right places and having the right things. I was lucky, or nothing, sober or dead. Dead, the horror would have been over. Alive, turns out to be the best road travelled one day at a time…

After two fellowship meetings yesterday, I felt uplifted and really included and part of something bigger than me. Newcomers and people returning: facing that monstrous decision, to slip away or survive and find well-being again. I will never forget just how difficult it is to make that decision to stick around and try to make good one day at a time…

We are very honest about where we come from in our fellowship: “rock bottom” is the most desolate place to be. And by ending it all the pain, the abject misery can be over. Yet somehow you just give it one more go, and then we can ask for help. And asking for help is really the turning point in my experience…

DonInLondon Posts In Other Places

Maya Angelou "Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at it destination full of hope." Our experience, strength and hope helps even when we have no idea how...

Friday night meeting, at the Bolton's: New secretary, fantastic chair and wonderful sharing by everyone. Sometimes the wreckage of the past looms large again and we can be thrown off course. With the help of Fellowship, we can deal with day-to-day as long as we can keep it in the day. Most important for me was the reminder of the "chief critic" inside me, who judges the world as the world judges me. I am not chief critic, I am one of the player’s hopefully same size and right sized with everyone, even when the bastards play "chief critic" and judge me. If I can forgive me for being "chief critic" then I can forgive them for being cuntibollokbastard's just for today…

Just for today meeting this morning, I shared how brilliant my Christmas and New Year was. No expectations meant no resentments under construction. Gratitude list at night: alive and sober. Learning that normal is whatever I am today. If I feel right I think right, and act right. If I feel wrong, I think wrong and can behave wrongly. All in all it pissed off all the people who had a crap Christmas. Not really, there's was normal as well, simply crap normal… Love yourself enough so you can love other people…

-/-

January 6 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2012-01-06T06:53:00.002Z

January 6 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Today's daily reflection "the victory of surrender" taking the first steps towards living one day at a time. No longer at war with ourselves, no battles and no need to fight. Surrender is simply giving up on something we do not need any more, no more conflicts inside us when it comes to alcohol. The other victory is clarity and freedom to choose what we can do and what we cannot do just for today…

Finding recovery one day at a time, has truly opened the door to new freedoms. What was the daily grind, of work, career, drinking and any other elements of life still going, becomes simply daily life, where our needs are met and our wants diminish. Our needs are met and wants forgotten. Through hard work and living realistically, our natural instincts become more balanced. We treat ourselves and other people fairly in a very unfair world…

The saying "it is not whether you win or lose, it is how you play the game" and "it truly is the journey and not the destination." If we enjoy the journey, and make free choices based on reality, we stop looking at the destination as the reward. The real reward is how we live today, as an individual and part of family, community and society. Sometimes we have never learned these ways of living,distracted and misled by false aspirations and possibilities. After all why would we have taken to drink in the first place if life were that wonderful…

Step one, powerless over alcohol and life unmanageable when drinking. Step two restored to sanity contingent on asking daily. Step three, letting go and letting good things happen and asking for help. Surrendering and giving up and letting go, can only work for a day because tomorrow everything can change and what has worked today may not work tomorrow. Steps are timeless principles, life forever changing and we change as each day unfolds…

Pablo Picasso "Everything you can imagine is real" Including Rock Bottom!

DonInLondon Posts in other places

12 steps, for emotional and spiritual connection to living in the day. Emotional, feeling my feelings as they happen rather than thinking about my feelings and if they are right feelings. Spiritual, living in the moment of now and coping with reality. If I feel my feelings in the moment then I am living right sized. When I feel happy I can be happy, when I feel sad I can be sad. When I feel fear, I need feel it and find out about it in the moment of now…

Open honest and willing, to love and be loved back and useful today. If I know my mood, I know how it influences my thinking. When I cherish people, I acknowledge they are equal and have a point of view. When I stop and ask myself "how does it feel to be in your shoes today?" Then I am likely to ask you, "how are you feeling today?" Likely it never crossed your mind to check what sort of mood you are in. If you're feeling okay and your thinking is okay all well and good. If you're feeling not okay, then your thinking may be undermined by your mood. We can be assertive and have empathy today…

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January 5 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2012-01-05T07:23:00.002Z

January 5 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 | Our daily reflections in AA, is all about acceptance and the jumping off point, where we have nowhere to go and no way to go back. How many times did I get to the jumping off point? I planned it, nearly did it, and if it hadn't been for the impact it would have on others I would have jumped…

I needed professional help, and some direction. At first it seemed I could blame everything else, overwork, anxiety, impossible deadlines I had imposed myself. I admitted over indulging in alcohol but never accepted it had a part to play in my breakdown. A mountain of unresolved feelings kept at bay by drink. Total acceptance of my alcoholism was years away…

"It could not be happening to me" I would be stronger and tougher and I would overcome this problem. The idea of powerlessness never occurred to me until family asked for help on my behalf. And even then I rejected and raged at interference in my life, it was up to me to sort my own life out. It took another five years of trying to do the impossible, battle and beat addiction on my own...

When it was suggested I try to do 90 meetings in 90 days, and stop trying to go it alone, I accepted it was worth a go. And I went a lot more than 90 meetings in those 90 days, fearful of a drink and fearful of my own company. In the company of sober people for that length of time I saw it was possible to change…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Sober Life in action ~ "Tennessee Williams "Success is blocked by concentrating on it and planning for it... Success is shy - it won't come out while you're watching." And gratitude is a reflection on what has happened and being alive so it may happen again...

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January 4 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2012-01-04T08:53:00.002Z

January 4 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

AA daily reflections: is all about "Begin where you are…" Seems like a very obvious statement, but when I started recovery I have a mountain of unfinished business with the world, and my feeling was once I sorted out what the rest of the world was doing, I could then work on me. And obviously I got it the wrong way round, once I sorted out what I could do and could not do on a daily basis, the rest of the world could be left to get on with their business. It took a long time to realise I built the mountain of unfinished business, and the rest of the world knew nothing about it…

In my career I worked with a lot of very damaged people, and many of them had drinking problems, and drug taking problems. In their opinion, there was not enough drink and there were not enough drugs to solve their problems. I would often help them find ways to resolve their problems and they stopped drinking and taking drugs. And I never looked at me, going home to take the edge off and push their problems out of my head with alcohol. We don't know we are an alcoholic until we get there because it's always them and never me…

Step one, powerless and unmanageable living: Even when we realise there is something wrong, denial and always tomorrow to resolve the issue kept me drinking because it was important to see through to the end of the day. Step two, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. And that is the madness; I will sort it out tomorrow and tomorrow never comes. By the time we admit and accept our problem, we are at rock bottom. No wonder sobriety is one of the most difficult journeys into recovery from addiction.

And even in the early days of recovery, I hoped after a few months there would be an inner sanctum, where I would graduate and become immune to addiction. The graduation would be celebrated with a drink, a cigarette, a good time and girls adoring me. The pipedream probably kept me going for a while and then reality bit hard. I got my through the pipedream and found reality, with freedom to choose and learn life. No need to dream or fix my life away… The girls would have been very welcome though…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

"In order to succeed you must fail, so that you know what not to do the next time" Anthony J. D'Angelo

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January 3 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2012-01-03T07:22:00.002Z

January 3 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Step six and step seven, step six all about extremes of fear, putting on a brave face and ego covering up shame and guilt. Step seven, about developing courage, faith and confidence daily. Contingent on asking for help, to see the truth of now and how life really is, the extremes of step six defects as they are known, become less and less. And my shortcomings, courage faith and confidence can grow to meet the day and its challenges. Willing to ask, willing to make spot checks, willing to reflect and willing to share the truth of who I am today…

Experience strength and hope: Back in the day I used to try and prove myself in whatever endeavour seemed right at the time. Old fears and insecurities from childhood, fear of being found out, guilt or shame about what I did not know was always there. I proved I could work hard, be successful, have romantic interludes and keep making life bigger and bigger. But the old fears were always there and alcohol and activity kept them at bay. Nowadays hardly any fear, just enough to keep a watchful eye. Today I can look out and be part of what is good for me, rather than what I thought I ought to be doing to prove myself. Living in the now, is where true happiness can be experienced. Sober and free to make good choices today…

My final Christmas "drinking alcohol" was a living hell. Walking to my mother's house, for lunch, not very far, felt like 1000 miles. Sober nearly, jittery and fragile. I could only stay an hour or so, hardly able to eat a thing. The look of fear on my mother's face, and walking home to recommence the endless drinking, is a long time ago. Today and over Christmas, seeing friends and being sober could not be more different. Seeing family via Skype, and kept in touch every day and was very happy. That first step in the AA program, powerless over alcohol has not changed; I simply need not drink one day at a time...

Back in the day, educated and driven to prove my place in society. To overcome all difficulties through personal power and drive. Left no room for other people to really influence what went on inside me. And the reason, being a man, standing on my own two feet was what I thought it was all about. Today I realise it's not about me and what I think, a very narrow outlook; it's about what is good for everyone and having freedom to make good choices based on reality. There are few vacancies at the very top of society and they tend to be very lonely situations. I love life, have no clue how it may turn out, and a good day is knowing myself a little bit better before I go to sleep…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

"Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally" David Frost

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January 2 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2012-01-02T07:55:00.005Z

January 2 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Daily reflections 2012: Just or today focuses on first, the foundation "is sobriety all that we can expect of a spiritual awakening? No, sobriety is only a bare beginning." I guess for me the first thing is to find out what is a spiritual awakening. And each of us comes to understand what spiritual is for ourselves. One man's spiritual awakening is the very end of spiritual for another. Indeed we will never agree on what spiritual is. But my spiritual is this, the ability to cope with reality. Simply to cope with what is going on now, good or bad, sad or joyful, loving or hateful. If it's happening now, it is spiritual.

Spiritual awakening, becomes spiritual oblivion the moment I cannot cope and resort to finding some way to fix my feelings. And if I am trying to control my feelings, I am suppressing something which I either don't like don't want or don't care to agree or admit to. Waking up with a clear head, knowing I can cope is truly a spiritual awakening and I can have one every morning contingent on not drinking and not trying to fix anything.

What on earth did I think spiritual life was? Somebody telling me how to live and improve my spiritual outlook, my spiritual depth, have a deeper consciousness of reality? In the end it is very simple, as long as we are not trying to be more spiritual than the next person, know better than the next person, think we are superior to the next person we are probably seeing the truth of now. Our Fellowship, an emotional and spiritual society learning how to live in the moment and experience life and reality as it is, not as we might wish it, or expect reality to be. The good news, we find truth, the bad news we find truth. Truth is neither good nor bad it is how we see it, not as might wish it or expect it. Simply the truth of how it is.

So a gentle reminder this morning to myself, step one powerless over alcohol and people and places and things will ensure that if I don't try to be powerful I will retain my sanity. Step two, my sanity is contingent on the day and asking for help when I don't know and not trying to provide answers when I don't even know what the question is. And step three, let go knowing the answers, often letting go not knowing what the questions are. And getting on with what needs to be done, if I know what needs to be done and I can't do on my own ask for help...

God grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. And always remind myself that whatever is going on it is only going to be the today. Expectations are resentments under construction. I haven't done anything to deserve anything, no matter how I might feel I'm the same as everyone and if we are truthful we ought to be in the same boat, a lifeboat...

January 1 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2012-01-01T10:43:00.002Z

January 1 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

"I admit that I am powerless over alcohol—that my life has become unmanageable." January 1, 2012, I feel so happy these days to admit that I am powerless over and if I were to drink again I would find myself back in an unmanageable life. It is so simple, that this complicated intellectual could not believe it. All I needed to do was stop hiding and trying to control everything and ask for help.

Every morning I say to myself step one I am powerless over alcohol and if I took a drink life gets unmanageable, step two I can be restored to sanity a daily basis contingent on knowing my spiritual condition and step three let go knowing the answers and ask for the answers from others. And the serenity prayer, God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference. Then I ask myself how am I feeling, why and what will be the impact it is mood continues? If it's a good mood and I feel okay, I most likely will think okay, and my actions during the day are likely to be in the solution rather than concentrating on problems.

And I also need to remind myself that it is okay to keep on learning and making mistakes. It is better I don't know the answer, before I get there or where ever I am. A mutual solution will lead to inclusion and not exclusion. And all I am doing is living this one day where everything happens and anything can happen now I have my eyes open…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

January 1 2011 ~ A new year, I was still up pottering around at three this new years morning, pondering over what is in my cupboards I have not used for the last year and what do I need and what do I want. I told myself whatever I need do will become obvious as the day progresses... So far so good!

As Bill Sees It ~} Personality Change ~ "It has often been said of A.A. that we are interested only in alcoholism. That is not true. We have to get over drinking in order to stay alive. But anyone who knows the alcoholic personality by first hand contact knows that no true alky ever stops drinking permanently without undergoing a profound personality change."

We thought "conditions" drove us to drink, and when we tried to correct these conditions and found that we couldn't do so to our entire satisfaction, our drinking went out of hand and we became alcoholics. It never ocurred to us that we needed to change ourselves to meet conditions, whatever they were.

1. LETTER, 1940

2. TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 47

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December 31 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-12-31T07:36:00.002Z

December 31 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

When I feel right, I probably think right and then my actions may be right. Unburdened from the past, and not fearful of my future, I can live in this one day. When I feel wrong, my thinking may be wrong and my actions wrong too, and if it all goes wrong, I have fellowship and the humility to keep on learning just for a day…

Last day of the year, looking back I have had less fear, no need to put on a brave face or hide away from anything or anyone. With help and support, my faith and courage have helped me build confidence in living one day at a time. Living the truth, and being open honest and willing will guide me into the New Year. With truth and honesty I can ask for help at anytime and anywhere…

Time flies in recovery, so many new friends and connections, the feeling of included and not excluded helps me find peace and serenity. I hope when you encounter me, I am myself and what you see is what you get. No need to cover up or fear you finding me out as less than, or untruthful. Being a learner is key to my spiritual living and always just for today…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

"I don’t have to make New Year’s resolutions! I can make every day a New Year’s day!" A day at a time, when I was living in the problem, it was a never ending nightmare. A day at a time living in the solution, my feelings fit the experience I am having. I am able to love, be loved back and useful. Happy ordinary, very extraordinary living today...

Realising I am powerless over people, places and things has let me be free to see my part in living today. No longer confounded or imprisoned by "my way" I see the big picture of life. The big picture, where I am included, know my feelings fit the experience I am having, I have freedom of choice based on reality, simply for today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "The idea of “twenty-four-hour” living applies primarily to the emotional life of the individual. Emotionally speaking, we must not live in yesterday, or in tomorrow. As Bill Sees It, p. 284

A New year: 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes–a time to consider directions, goals, and actions. I must make some plans to live a normal life, but also I must live emotionally within a twenty-four hour frame, for if I do, I don’t have to make New Year’s resolutions! I can make every day a New Year’s Day! I can decide, “Today I will do this . . . Today I will do that.” Each day I can measure my life by trying to a little better; by deciding to follow God’s will and making an effort to put the principles of our A.A. program into action."

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December 30 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-12-30T07:48:00.002Z

December 30 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

The 12 steps, are all about open honest and willing. I love this because truth and living in the now provide me with my spiritual connection to living in the moment of now. The 12 traditions, are all about unity service and recovery. Unity in fellowship, service by helping others and recovery, means I learn as much as I give.

Truth is my spiritual foundation, and not anonymity described in the traditions. Attraction to recovery is always “what you see is what you get.” Promotion offers a fix rather than a suggested program which works one day at a time. Anonymity is sanctuary to find the truth of who I am and who we are today. And my caution is anonymity can be a deception rather than the real truth of recovery. Vanity comes in many forms. “Censorship is the height of vanity” Martha Graham. The real truth of recovery and how we live is a personal journey. And anonymity will always be a personal choice.

I would rather people know the truth of me and where I am today. I'm sober and simply learning what is possible, what I can do today and what is not possible and what I cannot do today. And in that statement is truth. And when people know the truth of me, they can choose to include me as I am, or exclude me for whatever reason they choose. The genuine article is far better and sustainable, rather than a fake which may let you down. I will always be a learner, making progress and never perfect…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

ANONYMITY ~ when I share experience strength and hope in a meeting, I am one voice amongst many. It is always the many voices in recovery which helps us find wisdom and identification with our fellows. All voices carry equal weight, we often find the answers to our problems today in the message shared in a meeting where anonymity provides sanctuary to find the truth right now...

ANONYMITY ~ affords us sanctuary to share the truth of now. What is happening to us, we share our problems and our solutions. Often we come to a meeting with problems which seem impossible to fathom, we have fears and concerns. Often we simply hear the answer as another shares their experience strength and hope. A simple solution for today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "ANONYMITY December 30 Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 564

Tradition Twelve became important early in my sobriety and, along with the Twelve Steps, it continues to be a must in my recovery. I became aware after I joined the Fellowship that I had personality problems, so that when I first heard it, the Traditions message was very clear: there exists an immediate way for me to face, with others, my alcoholism and attendant anger, defensiveness, offensiveness. I saw Tradition Twelve as being a great ego-deflator; it relieved my anger and gave me a chance to utilize the principles of the program. All of the Steps, and this particular Tradition, have guided me over decades of continuous sobriety. I am grateful to those who were here when I needed them."

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December 29 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-12-29T08:24:00.002Z

December 29 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Today's daily reflection all about the joy of recovery. It truly is difficult to remember how hard it was to find peace and serenity back in the day when I was in control of everything, or so I thought. There was genuine love and joy as I knew it, but it turned to dust so easily when things went wrong. Today it's okay when things don't work out because I learn from it. How to love, be loved back and simply useful for a day. No matter how many hard knocks, I can always ask for help, the joy of inclusion one day at a time…

Emotional, spiritual and physical rock bottom. That was it for me, and I had no idea how to cope with a complete breakdown in my outlook. If it hadn't been for fellowship, some the same as me, confused, and many with recovery, not confused, living just this one day my life would have been over. Today and just for today, life works and fellowship rocks…

Dear higher power how you today? Do you remember back in the day when I thought I knew it all about other people and their situations? I was very good at resolving issues for them. But I did not know how to resolve my own, and I had to admit I was completely powerless over alcohol and life was unmanageable. Nowadays, it's in the moment for me and asking for help is joy, I need never be alone again, and I know it okay to be me, learning life just for today…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 29 2010 ~ Joy in recovery... synonyms: beatitude, blessedness, bliss, blissfulness, felicity, gladness, happiness, warm fuzzies ... antonyms: calamity, ill-being, misery, sadness, unhappiness, wretchedness. Goods news we learn how to be ourselves in all these feelings, to cope with the reality of now. Less denial and more living in the moment today...

December 29 2010 ~ having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Acceptance ~ Surrender ~ Faith ~ Open Mindedness ~ Honesty ~ Willingness ~ Moral Inventory ~ Amends ~ Humility ~ Persistence ~ Spiritual Growth ~ Service; All for today!

THE JOY OF LIVING therefore the joy of good living is the theme of A.A.’s Twelfth Step. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 125

A.A. is a joyful program! Even so, I occasionally balk at taking the necessary steps to move ahead, and find myself resisting the very actions that could bring about the joy I want. I would not resist if those actions did not touch some vulnerable area of my life, an area that needs hope and fulfilment. Repeated exposure to joyfulness has a way of softening the hard, outer edges of my ego. Therein lies the power of joyfulness to help all members of A.A.

AA Daily Reflections ~ "THE JOY OF LIVING therefore the joy of good living is the theme of A.A.’s Twelfth Step. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 125

A.A. is a joyful program! Even so, I occasionally balk at taking the necessary steps to move ahead, and find myself resisting the very actions that could bring about the joy I want. I would not resist if those actions did not touch some vulnerable area of my life, an area that needs hope and fulfilment. Repeated exposure to joyfulness has a way of softening the hard, outer edges of my ego. Therein lies the power of joyfulness to help all members of A.A."

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December 28 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-12-28T10:48:00.002Z

December 28 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Dear higher power, how you feeling today? I keep learning a lot each day higher power, but the more I know the less I know seems to be true every single day. Is it the same to you? It must be because nothing stands still especially for humans. I keep learning from everyone around me, and it's frustrating, hard work but very rewarding. I must admit it feels good to be human just for a day…

“If it ain't broke, don't fix it.” Feels like a good proposition. But I didn't know what was broken and what needed fixing. And I didn't know what parts of me, emotionally and spiritually were never there. Today I learn my emotions as I go along, what was missing and what did not work. Feelings in the moment inform me, shape my thinking and my actions today. No more fixing, simply living and learning today…

“What does not kill me, makes me stronger.” Feels like a good proposition. I realise now what was killing me was not knowing how to love, be loved back and useful. With faith, courage and confidence, I am learning emotional and spiritual life. Learning what it is to be loved, to be able to love back without conditions and simply useful one day at a time. Strength in learning and humility keep me safe today…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 28 2010 ~ twelve step living, to love, be loved back and included. "How am I feeling today, why and what can I do?" is being assertive. then I am half way there, "How are we feeling, why and what can we do?" is the second part of the equation, feeling empathy and understanding. Assertive and Empathy, one is not much good without the other today...

December 28 2010 ~ suit up and show up, part of being credible and trustworthy is simply a part of the answer. What is going on inside us, and our principles to be open, honest and willing. To set aside our wants and desires in helping others. Often we may be the right person, and often the inappropriate person when it comes to sharing our message of hope today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "SUIT UP AND SHOW UP in A.A. we aim not only for sobriety – we try again to become citizens of the world that we rejected, and of the world that once rejected us. This is the ultimate demonstration toward which Twelfth Step work is the first but not the final step. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 21

The old line says, “Suit up and show up.” That action is so important that I like to think of it as my motto. I can choose each day to suit up and show up, or not. Showing up at meetings starts me toward feeling a part of that meeting, I can talk with newcomers, and I can share my experience; that’s what credibility, honesty, and courtesy really are. Suiting up and showing up are the concrete actions I take in my on going return to normal living."

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December 27| AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-12-27T06:35:00.002Z

December 27 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Dear higher power, how you feeling today? In recent times I have been discussing who you are with friends in fellowship. It seems to me that no one has been able to offer an answer about you and what you do. It seems to me that you are probably the most practical problem solver in the universe. When I look to nature and providence, and listen to my inner voice and listen to others, I learn and get closer to knowing the solution, just for today…

Powerless over people, places and things: When I feel okay and no pressure it is quite easy to accept powerlessness. And when the pressure is on I need to remind myself that my voice and my outlook are equal to anyone else's ideas and outlook. Sharing equally, if we can means we can work in harmony rather than conflict. It is never about being right, it is about being in the solution today…

Woke up feeling happy, and I think happy and my actions are based in happiness. Emotional and spiritual well-being, is knowing my mood and feelings and spiritual is being in the moment of now. Wake up feeling angry, then I think angry and my actions can be based on anger. My actions will influence what I continue to feel, my mood and how I think and what I do today…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

There is a proverb that says that everyone is a house with four rooms – a physical, an emotional, a mental and a spiritual. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time, but unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person. Acceptance ~ Surrender ~ Faith ~ Open Mindedness ~ Honesty ~ Willingness ~ Moral Inventory ~ Amends ~ Humility ~ Persistence ~ Spiritual Growth ~ Service

Spiritual problem solving, as if there were any other kind. Fellowship, all about spiritual, emotional and physical well-being. Spiritual is often described as mind, body and breath in the moment of now. When I am in the moment where my feelings match my reality, feelings match my experience in the moment, what you see is what you get today...

Problem solving and decision making, is all about action in the moment and often about formulating plans. When I am on my own, problem solving and decision making is assertive behaviour. When I am with others problem solving and decision making need take account of everyone, a mutual oucome with empathy. Life is a two way street today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "PROBLEM SOLVING quite as important was the discovery that spiritual principles would solve all my problems. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 42

Through the recovery process described in the Big Book, I have come to realize that the same instructions that work on my alcoholism, work on much more. Whenever I am angry or frustrated, I consider the matter a manifestation of the main problem within me, alcoholism. As I walk through the Steps, my difficulty is usually dealt with long before I reach the Twelfth suggestion, and those difficulties that persist are remedied when I make an effort to carry the message to someone else. These principles do solve my problems! I have not encountered an exception, and I have been brought to a way of living which is satisfying and useful."

-/-

December 26 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-12-26T10:56:00.002Z

December 26 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Dear higher power, today's reflection is about accepting success or failure. I'm coming to believe that acceptance in the moment means it is not a question of success or failure, the question is knowing the truth what am I going to do now? With the principals of being open, honest and willing to keep on learning life as it is and it's not failure, it is simply progress today…

Christmas day; morning meditation; sharing a message, Skyped and called my close family. A fellowship meeting, and then home to wrap presents. Shared the story on FB. Then out for Christmas dinner with close friends. Laughter till my sides split, fun and games and electric shocks from innocent looking toys. And serious discussion about the meaning of life. Just a perfect day… To love, be loved back and useful…

A fellowship where we find emotional and spiritual living is possible. Emotional, learning my feelings as they are and not what I imagine. Spiritual, living in and coping with the moment. When my feelings fit the moment of now, I am able to be me, know what I can do and what I can do and the wisdom to know the difference. No hangovers from the past, freedom to choose right here and right now…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

Sober, I am looking forward to seeing all my close family this boxing day. In the past it may have felt like an obligation, a duty, I really do not know. Now it feels exciting, included, I love my family and even though we may spark off from time to time, what matters is I feel right in my actions and free to choose, to love, be loved back and a part of today...

Acceptance is not complacency! It is living life on life's terms, even when life is difficult. Always in the action in the present moment, where our feelings match the experience we are having. Often, it can take time for our feelings to come back into balance when life experience is outside the ordinary. In the moment we do experience extremes as they are today...

Can we accept poverty, sickness, loneliness, and bereavement with courage and serenity? Yes when we keep talking and expressing our feelings as they are today. We need not hide or push away tears of joy or sadness; sometimes tears feel as inconvenient as the truth. Better to express our feelings as they are in the moment of now where truth resides...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "ACCEPTING SUCCESS OR FAILURE December 26 furthermore, how shall we come to terms with seeming failure or success? Can we now accept and adjust to either without despair or pride? Can we accept poverty, sickness, loneliness, and bereavement with courage and serenity? Can we steadfastly content ourselves with the humbler, yet sometimes more durable, satisfactions when the brighter, more glittering achievements are denied us?

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 112

After I found A.A. and stopped drinking, it took a while before I understood why the First Step contained two parts: my powerlessness over alcohol and my life’s unmanageability. In the same way, I believed for a long time that, in order to be in tune with the Twelve Steps, it was enough for me to carry this message to alcoholics. That was rushing things. I was forgetting that there were a total of Twelve Steps and that the Twelfth Step also had more than one part. Eventually I learned that it was necessary for me to practice these principles in all areas of my life. In working all the Steps thoroughly, I not only stay sober and help someone else to achieve sobriety, but also I transform my difficulty with living into a joy of living."

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December 25 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-12-25T11:25:00.002Z

December 25 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Christmas day, very quiet and very gentle start the day. Gradually getting in touch with family with Skype I've seen six relatives! 2 to go. All-day meeting at flood Street and AA jamboree. I will be there for a while. And then Christmas dinner with friends tonight. A light touch, expectations set to 0, and it will be a good day.

Today's daily reflections is about at peace with life. And we can be at peace with life as long as we keep it in the moment and don't project and don't expect and try to be of service. If I try to be of service it means it's not about me and it's all about harmony. And if I can be harmonious today, it might work tomorrow. We never know till we get there, and getting their sober makes all the difference…

Dear higher power I went out to a late meeting at Eaton square. Lots of people who I know with great sharing and a chair from the heart. A lot of laughter and a lot of memories of Christmas past. It ain't how it used to be! I don't know what the promises were for me, all I can say is life is real full of love and full of peace. So long as I don't try to run the show, thy not my way on the big highway today…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 25 2010 ~ serenity: at peace with life today. Tolerance and love, accepting life as it is today and that life is always difficult. I do not need to be right or control anyone or anything. Tolerance and love means, I have my outlook and opinions, same as everyone shared with humility today...

December 25 2010 ~ our connection to reality: where we all reside in the moment of now offers continuous learning about life as it really is today. I can do what is good for me, be included, love people, to be loved back and useful. Sometimes excluded? Yes, that can be appropriate today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "AT PEACE WITH LIFE every day is a day when we must carry the vision of Gods will into all of our activities. How can I best serve Thee — Thy will (not mine) be done. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 85

I read this passage each morning, to start off my day, because it is a continual reminder to practice these principles in all my affairs. When I keep Gods will at the forefront of my mind, I am able to do what I should be doing, and that puts me at peace with life, with myself and with God."

-/-

December 24 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-12-24T08:00:00.002Z

December 24 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Today's daily reflection: “a sane and happy usefulness.” I'm reminded of a saying, “the usefulness of any vessel is in its emptiness.” When I found Fellowship, I was full of pain, remorse, guilt and shame. It did not take long to find there was a big gap growing, it was quite frightening. Then life got busy, helping others and learning a new life. I still have gaps, and they are very useful for love, peace and serenity… Now I understand what it is to love be loved and useful…

Dear higher power, how you today? I woke early, smiling and happy. A friend came round with a wonderful dinner for me. Then later I went to a meeting; with new friends red raw and old friends at peace, in harmony. All in this one day, knowing more about how to live life real, acknowledging life is difficult, and when we accept it is difficult, it is no longer daunting, and we can cope with reality.

Last night’s meeting the promises was wonderful. Full the friends, some I see almost every day, some I see just once a year. A common understanding: about pain, about love about peace and serenity. We come together for an hour, share and make sense of how we got now, and what to do just for a day.

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 24 2010 ~ enjoy today as it may be... Life used to feel like an endurance attempt on a daily basis. I realise now of course that I can have a step six day, all about endurance, extremes of fear and brave facing. Or I can have a step seven day with fortitude: courage, faith and confidence. Humility helps me be able to learn with love and tolerance of me and everyone today...

December 24 2010 ~ there is a book called "Drop the Rock." Letting go unhealthy old ways and beginning afresh each and every day. From dropping the old thinking and feeling different about life. From endurance and hanging on to enjoyment. From dark to light even when life is as difficult can be we keep learning just for today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "A “SANE AND HAPPY USEFULNESS” we have come to believe He would like us to keep our heads in the clouds with Him, but that our feet ought to be firmly planted on earth. That is where our fellow travellers are, and that is where our work must be done. These are the realities for us. We have found nothing incompatible between a powerful spiritual experience and a life of sane and happy usefulness. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 130

All the prayer and meditation in the world will not help me unless they are accompanied by action. Practicing the principles in all my affairs shows me the care that God takes in all parts of my life. God appears in my world when I move aside, and allow Him to step into it."

-/-

December 23 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-12-23T08:57:00.002Z

December 23 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Dear higher power, I went to the after a meeting last night and thoroughly enjoyed it. I shared about the old life, where work and career took over and I became a workaholic. I would always say yes to each new challenge. I now know just because I may have been good at something it does not mean that is what I should be doing. Life is completely different today, I say yes to what is good for me and now know, that the word no is a complete sentence…

The daily reflections are all about unity service and recovery today. Unity, it is the many voices in Fellowship which make the difference. Service, by just being there we are part of Fellowship. And recovery is always just one day long. We share experience strength and hope, which changes as we change and we are no longer a hostage to our past. Now that is a miracle if…

Without doubt learning how to put the 12 steps into practice has made the difference for me. Not driven by fear and no need for a brave face and no ego to blind me. Now with enough courage faith and confidence one day I live free from fear and unfair obligations. I choose and fit with life and people around me today. Life will always have its ups and downs, and it was ever thus…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 23 2010 ~ I strive daily to be: open, honest and willing. Knowing how I am feeling, why and what to do next to live truth in the moment. When my feelings match my current situation I feel grounded today. Whether my feelings are happy or sad, if they fit my current life situation, I am not in denial. I do not need to "fake it to make it today..."

December 23 2010 ~ unity service and recovery offer me freedom to share a message of experience strength and hope. One voice amongst many today, we are all unique and authentic on our emotional and spiritual path. The gift of wisdom from others, those still in the problem or happily in the solution, helps me on my path of living for today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "RECOVERY, UNITY, SERVICE Our Twelfth Step — carrying the message — is the basic service that AA’s Fellowship gives; this is our principal aim and the main reason for our existence. THE LANGUAGE OF THE HEART, P. 160

I thank God for those who came before me, those who told me not to forget the Three Legacies: Recovery, Unity and Service. In my home group, the Three Legacies were described on a sign which said: “You take a three-legged stool, try to balance it on only one leg, or two. Our Three Legacies must be kept intact. In Recovery, we get sober together; in Unity, we work together for the good of our Steps and Traditions; and through Service-we give away freely what has been given to us.” One of the chief gifts of my life has been to know that I will have no message to give, unless I recover in unity with A.A. principles."

-/-

December 22 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-12-22T09:46:00.002Z

December 22 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Dear higher power, I went to a meeting last night and quite a few meetings recently where there were newcomers who don't know what to do. I know just how they feel, trying to cover up fear, putting on a brave face and very concerned. It makes me realise just how important the AA pledge is every day. All we need to do is offer help to support and encourage some faith, courage and confidence to be sober one day. That was all it took for me to try sober life, oh and of course, you!

Principles not personalities, the traditions are all about unity, service and recovery. We work together to maintain our sobriety. Service in Fellowship changes every day because we change and we don't hold on, we let go and share and include as much as possible. Thank the heavens recovery is just for today.…

The most contemptuous critic is always going to be me, when I used to look in the mirror, I did not see the real me, I saw someone imperfect and unworthy. I was always striving, and I really did not know why I disliked what I saw. Today when I look in the mirror, I brush my teeth, shave sometimes, deal with the odd spot and then get on with my day…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 22 2010 ~ in fellowship we do learn principles of living with the twelve steps. The twelve steps for me to put in the action and improve my principles and living. When I use the twelve steps to judge you and other people, my attitudes and behaviour become judgmental and mean. Principles before personalities, judge not and my life improves daily...

December 22 2010 ~ I have yet to meet a special and different alcoholic. I always meet unique and authentic people in fellowship, one similarity being "a desire to stop drinking." I do find like-minded people everywhere, and also people I simply cannot understand. I make friends with like-minded people and leave others to their own path today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "PRINCIPLES, NOT PERSONALITIES the way our “worthy” alcoholics have sometimes tried to judge the “less worthy” is, as we look back on it, rather comical. Imagine, if you can, one alcoholic judging another! THE LANGUAGE OF THE HEART, p. 37

Who am I to judge anyone? When I first entered the Fellowship I found that I liked everyone. After all, A.A. was going to help me to a better way of life without alcohol. The reality was that I couldn’t possibly like everyone, nor they me. As I’ve grown in the Fellowship, I’ve learned to love everyone just from listening to what they had to say. That person over there, or the one right here, may be the one God has chosen to give me the message I need for today. I must always remember to place principles above personalities..."

-/-

December 21 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-12-21T09:42:00.004Z

December 21 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Daily reflections today cautions against giving advice. Feels right because we need to make our mistakes with the safety of fellowship to support our ups and downs in recovery. I love the mistakes as much as the right action today, simply day sized and not lifetime sized!

Dear higher power, I had a drinking dream in the night. I woke out of the dream thirsty, numb and pins and needles in my arm and the shopping channel offering ear rings on the telly. A glass of water, thankful and disoriented put on the news channel for company, fell asleep sober and woke up sober today…

Sometimes a drinking dream reminds me of the horror and fear of a slip or relapse. It may have been a reaction to listening to newcomers and the whole fear that Christmas can have for many a person. It did for me a long time ago, bereft, grieving and lonely. I feel sad for the past and happy in the present and accept the reminders of Christmas past. Rare hauntings these days, and thank you higher power for the reminder…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 21 2010 ~ probably the only fellowship I could join in my life today. Where everyone keeps their unique and authentic identity, develops their own outlook and affiliations as they choose. Can have faith; in their higher power and living to good conscience. A fellowship with one primary purpose and members exercise their freedom of choice and live in reality today...

December 21 2010 ~ a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions.

December 21 2010 ~ A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

AA Daily Reflections ~ "LISTEN, SHARE AND PRAY when working with a man and his family, you should take care not to participate in their quarrels. You may spoil your chance of being helpful if you do. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 100

When trying to help a fellow alcoholic, I’ve given in to an impulse to give advice, and perhaps that’s inevitable. But allowing others the right to be wrong reaps its own benefits. The best I can do — and it sounds easier than it is to put into practice — is to listen, share personal experience, and pray for other man."

-/-

December 20 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-12-20T09:45:00.002Z

December 20 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Steps for open, honest and willing endeavour. The traditions are for unity, service and recovery in our fellowship. Steps to stop us feeling the need to commit suicide, traditions to stop us becoming homicidal. Timescales, in the moment and just for the day makes it possible to cope with our feelings and reality. Emotional and spiritual, humility to learn our path just for today…

Dear higher power, how are you feeling today? I have been well fed, loved and able to love back. A saying: “the usefulness of any vessel is in its emptiness.” A friend took my phone number just in case. And I have gratitude to have room [empty space] to help if asked; I can answer yes today…

A newcomers meeting last night, we go round the room saying our names and sobriety time, some a few days sober and red raw, to years sober some red raw. And many who are quite mellow as life batters the innocent in dark times. A common thread, putting down the drink and coping with reality for a day…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 21 2010 ~ when working with our fellows there is a big difference between doing good and being a “do gooder.” Doing some good is helping to free another so they can continue their spiritual journey sober. If I fall into "do gooding," my opinion and prejudice come to the fore. Open, honest and willing to share and never to impose my way on your way today...

December 21 2010 ~ I learn from every experience, and every moment is a success as I experience what works and does not work in life. Open, honest and willing endeavour helps me find truth love and wisdom. When I live with enough faith, courage and confidence, learn with humility, I am less likely to hamper others on their spiritual path today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "December 21 Step Twelve A.A. Daily Reflections ~} LISTEN, SHARE AND PRAY when working with a man and his family, you should take care not to participate in their quarrels. You may spoil your chance of being helpful if you do. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 100

When trying to help a fellow alcoholic, I’ve given in to an impulse to give advice, and perhaps that’s inevitable. But allowing others the right to be wrong reaps its own benefits. The best I can do — and it sounds easier than it is to put into practice — is to listen, share personal experience, and pray for other man."

-/-

December 9 | AA 12 Steps In Action

2011-12-20T09:43:00.000Z

December 9 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Today’s reflection, love with no price tag is a truth in recovery. We do try practice these principles in all our affairs. In meetings and face to face we share experience strength and hope and oddly we do love people and hate their behaviour from time to time. Love the person, know behaviour. Behaviour can be horrible, mine was for a long time and yet I was still loved…

Just back from a meeting called “just for today.” Always good seeing people I love, like, am getting to know. And of course some people I need not love like or get to know. We are all in fellowship and life together. And the same applies; I am certainly not everyone’s cup of tea!

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 9 2010 ~ At the extremes of success or failure, my life became very precarious and unsustainable. When people told me that sober, the path becomes narrower, I was not too thrilled. And then I found as the path narrowed, my emotional and spiritual experience became much deeper and more profound in the moment of now...

December 9 2010 ~ Back in the day, I was forever seeking the next best experience, trying to fix myself. The next right relationship, the next right job, the next right anything, always about the next fix. Today, I live the experience of now, learning how I am feeling, why and what to do. With a lot of help from my friends today!

AA Daily Reflections ~ "LOVE WITH NO PRICE TAG When the Twelfth Step is seen in its full implication, it is really talking about the kind of love that has no price tag on it. Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Page 106

In order for me to start working the Twelfth Step, I had to work on sincerity, honesty, and to learn to act with humility. Carrying the message is a gift of myself, no matter how many years of sobriety I may have accumulated. My dreams can become reality. I solidify my sobriety by sharing what I have received freely. As I look back to that time when I began my recovery, there was already a seed of hope that I could help another drunk pull himself out of his alcoholic mire. My wish to help another drunk is the key to my spiritual health. But I never forget that God acts through me. I am only His instrument. Even if the other person is not ready, there is success, because my effort in his behalf has helped me to remain sober and to become stronger. To act, to never grow weary in my Twelfth Step work, is the key. If I am capable of laughing today, let me not forget those days when I cried. God reminds me that I can feel compassion!"

-/-

December 19 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-12-19T10:38:00.000Z

December 19 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

In the world of fierce competition, work hard play hard were the touchstones. Wine women and song seemed to be the answer, until it turned into vodka, isolation and misery. Now in fellowship, loving and cherishing women and singing occasionally. Enduring friendships with men and women prevail and I never say never to one special love again. Open to life and open to love, be loved and… just for today…

Dear higher power, a friend of mine did the chair last night. He shared his journey, AA for sobriety and then the lid came off, what now? A journey: into mysticism, religion and philosophy by a great intellect. Enlightenment came; AA is for emotional and spiritual living. Feeling able to cope with reality, to love and be loved, useful for today. A whole day with freedom to choose…

When the game is up, the job is lost and those around us know, I don’t feel anonymity helps. It can keep us shut and locked into shame and guilt. Anonymity in fellowship is there to keep us safe long term yes, maybe? Sobriety is a key to unlocking the door to everything where outside help is often very necessary…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 19 2010 ~ forgive everyone everything and then I can be forgiving towards myself. And yes there are consequences to everything I have done and may do. If I am unable to forgive myself, my self-prejudice will lead to prejudice against others. No blame, no shame keeps me sober and learning today, consequences always...

December 19 2010 ~ secrets keep us stuck in the dark, shame and guilt. Even now I can feel the need to bend the truth, elaborate on the mundane, make my story bigger or smaller to illustrate a point. If and when I do this, I feel the cold ice of fear creep into my bones. Courage, faith and confidence in truth keeps me on track today...

UNDERSTANDING THE MALADY when dealing with an alcoholic, there may be a natural annoyance that a man could be so weak, stupid and irresponsible. Even when you understand the malady better, you may feel this feeling rising. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 139

Having suffered from alcoholism, I should understand the illness, but sometimes I feel annoyance, even contempt, toward a person who cannot make it in A.A. When I feel that way, I am satisfying my false sense of superiority and I must remember, but for the grace of God, there go I.

-/-

December 18 | AA 12 Steps In Action

2011-12-18T11:11:00.002Z

December 18 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

It is not what I do that counts it is what we do which makes the difference. Asked and answered over and over, one day at a time…

Dear higher power, what a day yesterday. Newcomers in the room and as the meeting came to an end, seeing my fellows reaching out, offering help, phone numbers and where to finds. I did say hello and offered, but not needed today as some were faster on their feet. A good feeling, no need to rush, patience, tolerance and love and good company in fellowship…

Over the last few days; more newcomers, feeling red raw. And just about able to listen as we share seriously and humorously. Shocked and relieved by our similarities and our diversity. As we laugh at our misfortune and redemption, newcomers uncertain and then seeing something new; people coping with reality…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 18 2010 ~ "honesty with newcomers" a desire to be sober so I have freedom to live as well can be given my current circumstances. I don't tell anyone what to do, simply share my experience strength and hope. Accepting life on life's terms can be difficult. I am one voice; it is the many voices in fellowship keeping me sober today...

December 18 2010 ~ I do not know what is spiritual for other people, and I do not know how spiritual may work in their lives. For me, spiritual is the ability to cope with reality, my real situation today. My higher power is connection to truth, love and wisdom experienced in the moment. Life is changing and I keep learning, always for today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "HONESTY WITH NEWCOMERS tell him exactly what happen to you. Stress the spiritual feature freely. Alcoholics Anonymous Page 93

The marvel of A.A. is that I tell only what happened to me. I don’t waste time offering advice to potential newcomers, for if advice worked, nobody would get to A.A. All I have to do is show what has brought me sobriety and what has changed my life. If I fail to stress the spiritual feature of A.A.’s program, I am being dishonest. The newcomer should not be given a false impression of sobriety. I am sober only through the grace of my Higher Power, and that makes it possible for me to share with others"

-/-

December 17 | AA 12 Steps In Action

2011-12-17T08:20:00.002Z

December 17 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Dear higher power, how are you feeling this morning? Yesterday was wonderful, I set my expectations to zero in the morning, was hugged three times. Asked for nothing and got nothing. Did not think I deserved anything, and did not get anything. And was silly happy all day and full of gratitude, smiling till my face ached…

Extremes in feeling and as a consequence extreme in thinking leading to extremes in action provide a rush in our physical chemistry. Extreme experiences! Highs and lows over and over lead to burn out. Loss of perspective is the consequence. “River deep, mountain high.” There is no rush to serenity, serenity is always with us when we accept it…

Sharing the real truth means real truth can be shared back rather than a “load of bull truth today.” Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. We are not always good and not always bad. I feel better knowing I am not being singled out for special treatment either way. When I am open honest and willing, tell the truth about my situation, wisdom can come from any source rather than me and my attitudes, opinion and beliefs…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 17 2010 ~ when I work with others in fellowship I realise we are all similar in one respect, at first we don't want to stop drinking, because we relied so heavily on it, then as we find in sobriety becomes more attractive than the alternative, a return to a slow and painful end, sober we become free to make choices just for a day...

December 17 2010 ~ "life will take on new meaning" When I read this in early days, I was bitter and resentful, a life without alcohol! Today, I am happy or sad, my feelings fit the experience I am having. I have all my feelings back, right sized for today. Leaning on the many, we can recover, find truth, love and wisdom in the moment of now...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "A PRICELESS REWARD work with other alcoholics... It works when other activities fail. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 89

“Life will take on a new meaning,” as the Big Book says (p. 89) This promise has helped me to avoid self-seeking and self-pity. To watch others grow in this wonderful program, to see them improve the quality of their lives, is a priceless reward for my effort to help others. Self-examination is yet another reward for on going recovery, as are serenity, peace and contentment. The energy derived from seeing others on a successful path, of sharing with them the joys of the journey, gives to my life a new meaning."

-/-

December 16 | AA 12 Steps In Action

2011-12-16T07:20:00.002Z

December 16 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Today's AA Daily Reflections "PARTNERS IN RECOVERY ~ nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics ." Partners and equal, not teacher and pupil. The most important person is always the newcomer. Partnership in fellowship. No hierarchy and no presumption of my way or the highway...

The question of appropriate sharing in meetings came up. I am reminded recovery is “Just for today.” An old timer suggests our later sobriety sharing need be more mature, while newcomers share all of what is on their mind. An honest share from anyone need not be selective nor judged as inappropriate or appropriate. If I cannot say it in a meeting, where can I say it?

Emotional and spiritual living; where feelings fit the experience of now. Feelings change every second as the experience of "now" is changing every second. But if we are stuck in an old feeling, we cannot experience reality as it is; we are not in the moment of now. I was stuck in fear for years, needed help and "step by step" arrived in the world of now and still learn how to cope daily, feeling happy or sad as life is, without the wreckage of the past and not tortured by the future today...

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 16 2010 ~ I have learned I can love people, and hate their behaviour. I realise in the malady of addiction, family and friends loved me and hated my behaviour. In fellowship we may not like the way some people behave, and not like them, just like ordinary life. We still love them, partners in recovery, and life today...

December 16 2010 ~ In a palace, in a bedsit, homeless on a park bench, the prison of addiction is the same, insanity and imprisoned, no emotional or spiritual respite from pain. In recovery, we share experience strength and hope, from a palace, in a bedsit, homeless on a park bench, emotional and spiritual balance restored as it may be today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "PARTNERS IN RECOVERY ~ nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics ... Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress... Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances! ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 89, 100

Doing the right things for the right reasons — this is my way of controlling my selfishness and self-centeredness. I realize that my dependency on a Higher Power clears the way for peace of mind, happiness and sobriety. I pray each day that I will avoid my previous actions, so that I will be helpful to others."

-/-

December 15 | AA 12 Steps In Action

2011-12-15T09:40:00.002Z

December 15 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Serenity: contingent on my spiritual condition. My spiritual condition can be reliving old times, wishing for future times. Spiritual, coping with real life right now is where serenity can be experienced. Feelings: under pressure and at extremes, and still coping or feeling relaxed and able to chill. Serenity, coping and knowing my feelings affect my thinking and my actions right here and right now…

Dear higher power, please help me forgive my indiscretions at office parties and any part of Christmas past and all the girls who were naughty with me too. Then I can stop judging and be forgiving of all naughty goings on this Christmas, because being unwillingly celibate is no reason to piss on other people’s chips… ho ho ho

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 15 2010 ~ friendship and fellowship, we are equals in Alcoholics Anonymous; no person has greater status or rights. Our experience, strength and hope is as good as it may be on the day we share. From the newcomer with news of what it is like in the problem, to the old timer serene in living the solution, just for today

December 15 2010 ~ we are all trusted servants in fellowship. We take on responsibilities, I love greeting at meetings and do it, treasury not so much and do it, love tea making and hope to do this again, floor sweeper as my back condition allows... We do what we can in our own way in friendship and fellowship today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "DOING ANYTHING TO HELP offer him [the alcoholic] friendship and fellowship. Tell him that if he wants to get well you will do anything to help. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, P. 95

I remember how attracted I was to the two men from A.A. who Twelfth-Stepped me. They said I could have what they had, with no conditions attached, that all I had to do was make my own decision to join them on the pathway to recovery. When I start convincing a newcomer to do things my way, I forget how helpful those two men were to me in their open-minded generosity."

-/-

December 14 | AA 12 Steps In Action

2011-12-14T09:57:00.002Z

December 14 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Dear higher power can you please help me forgive myself for being a learner today. My mistakes anger me if I feel fear and shame and try cover up. Better I share I can be a fuckwit and include them in my learning. Forgiving myself for my fuckwittery, I can forgive them for theirs. I am restored to wittery, just for today…

Our primary purpose in living might be described as being able to love, be loved back and useful. We seem to start life with love if we are fortunate. Life experience can take us to many places, to hate be hated and destructive. The upside of life and the downside of life and every place in between, and we can feel both almost in the same moment. Loving people love, hurt people hurt. Forgiveness is key…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 14 2010 ~ A moment of clarity... I woke up one January morning, suffering as usual from the awful effects of drinking 24/7. I was still breathing and alive. Every attempt to stop drinking on my own had failed. On the brink, it felt like it could get no worse, finally I genuinely asked for help, and then everything changed...

December 14 2010 ~ early days in fellowship, no one told me what to do. All people did was talk about themselves, they called it sharing experience, strength and hope, day after day. 2387 sober days later, the same is true, no change there! As for me, everything has changed in me and my attitudes, one day at a time...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "REACHING OUT Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection. Show him how they worked with you. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 95

When I come into contact with a newcomer, do I have a tendency to look at him from my perceived angle of success in A.A.? Do I compare him with the large number of acquaintances I have made in the Fellowship? Do I point out to him in a magisterial way the voice of A.A.? What is my real attitude toward him? I must examine myself whenever I meet a newcomer to make sure that I am carrying the message with simplicity, humility and generosity. The one who still suffers from the terrible disease of alcoholism must find in me a friend who will allow him to get to know the A.A. way, because I had such a friend when I arrived in A.A. Today it is my turn to hold out my hand, with love, to my sister or brother alcoholic, and to show her or him the way to happiness."

-/-

December 13 | AA 12 Steps In Action

2011-12-13T09:42:00.002Z

December 13 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Waking up this morning I check my mood. An odd thing to suggest you may think? My mood this morning is hard to figure out, so I try not push myself this way or that. I listen to the news and can be mortified. Or I can read something to uplift me. Mood and feelings improve, my thinking improves and my actions improve. Can do something today? Yes I can, something simple and useful, be myself today…

Powerless: over people places and things… oh, and alcohol of course. Not only powerless, no need to try control or manipulate to my way of feeling or thinking today. No longer blocking my own spiritual growth nor yours. No prisoners, no wardens and no big sticks. And no need of carrots to coax a stubborn mind. Freedom to be ourselves, make the choices possible based on real life for a day…

Dear higher power, please help me avoid buying into anyone else’s bullshit today, I am quite capable of buying into my own…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 13 2010 ~ not simply thinking of others, actually helping another person into the solution is a key feature of life for me in my recovery. Fellowship has taught me how to help again, opens the world up to new experiences. To love, be loved and useful. Open, honest and willing without conditions and without prejudice...

December 13 2010 ~ I missed helping a newcomer a few weeks back, someone else found they could. And now we both help, the newcomer is included and part of, starting to make choices and experiencing a glimpse of freedom. They have a sponsor and people who care today. We do what we can, when we can daily...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "THINKING OF OTHERS our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 20

Thinking of others has never come easily to me. Even when I try to work the A.A. program, I’m prone to thinking, “How do I feel today. Am I happy, joyous and free?” The program tells me that my thoughts must reach out to those around me: “Would that newcomer welcome someone to talk to?” “That person looks a little unhappy today, maybe I could cheer him up.” It is only when I forget my problems, and reach out to contribute something to others that I can begin to attain the serenity and God-consciousness I seek"

-/-

December 12 | AA 12 Steps In Action

2011-12-12T10:28:00.002Z

December 12 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Chaos is never the enemy. Growing up everything was new without the answers. Learning to hear, then speak then make some sense of the world. We thrived on the new experiences. And then a lot of us got stuck relying on old thinking and actions. We needed certainty and security from fear. Today I can welcome chaos and learn to meet challenges with faith, needs met and wants forgotten. New feelings, new thinking and new action, simply for today…

Daily reflections are about our common solution for today. The focus is about sharing the message of unity, service and recovery. A common solution, lived in action and unique to each person. We can do what we can do, change at any time, help and support as we learn. Each case so similar, day by day, the actions unique based on wisdom learned. The hand of fellowship always there…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 12 2010 ~ I lived the nightmare of addiction for years, and now able to cope with life for a day. My reality this morning; a beautiful winter morning, nearby close family are happy and I have breakfast shortly with a friend. Camera at the ready, my mood is light. It takes time to find emotional and spiritual wellbeing, freedom and choices and it is simply just for today

December 12 2010 ~ A common solution for unique authentic human beings. One similarity as many solutions as there are people in recovery. Twelve steps of action, twelve principles underpinned by an open honest and willing outlook. When I become closed, dishonest and unwilling, I am the deadweight today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "A COMMON SOLUTION December 12, 2010 the tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

The most far-reaching Twelfth Step work was the publication of our Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. Few can equal that book for carrying the message. My idea is to get out of myself and simply do what I can. Even if I haven’t been asked to sponsor and my phone rarely rings, I am still able to do Twelfth Step work. I get involved in “brotherly and harmonious action.” At meetings I show up early to greet people and to help set up, and to share my experience, strength and hope. I also do what I can with service work. My Higher Power gives me exactly what He wants me to do at any given point in my recovery and, if I let Him, my willingness will bring Twelfth Step work automatically."

-/-

December 11 | AA 12 Steps In Action

2011-12-11T09:23:00.002Z

December 11 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Sobriety is often said to be “an inside job.” I need to be careful; the inside job is living reality and contingent on my spiritual condition. Living reality, listening and learning, and most important understanding my mood, how it affects my thinking and then the actions I take. Old behaviour: step six and fear, new behaviour step seven and faith. In truth a bit of six, and more seven, faith is good just for today…

Humility: to keep learning the truth today. The more I find the truth of who I am, which simply happens now, how I feel, and then how I think and as a consequence how I behave. Learning the truth of who I am is in my actions today. Secrets kept me stuck, shame and guilt kept me stuck, not feeling right, fear which came out as anger and resentment or worse, silence as I wondered what people thought. Today I may ask for help, share, learn from others and how to love, be loved and free in my choices and actions today...

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 11 2010 ~ with humility the ability to keep on learning and humility is the greatest challenge. We learn more and think more which is difficult. We think we know better. I know I need challenges to my thinking, my best thinking kept me drinking for decades. Now, emotional and spiritual learning keeps me sober today...

December 11 2010 ~ recovery life in fellowship with twelve steps: action to improve my emotional and spiritual condition. Experiencing sober reality with clarity was a shock to me, nothing to take the edge off my feelings. Emotions were extreme, raw and it took time for them to settle. Most often my feelings match my reality as it is today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "A GENUINE HUMILITY if we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This is to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 192

Experience has taught me that my alcoholic personality tends to be grandiose. While having seemingly good intentions, I can go off on tangents in pursuit of my “causes.” My ego takes over and I lose sight of my primary purpose. I may even take credit for God’s handiwork in my life. Such an overstated feeling of my own importance is dangerous to my sobriety and could cause great harm to A.A. as a whole. My safeguard, the Twelfth Tradition, serves to keep me humble. I realize, both as an individual and as a member of the Fellowship, that I cannot boast of my accomplishments, and that “God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.”

-/-

December 10 | AA 12 Steps In Action

2011-12-10T10:07:00.002Z

December 10 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

“Carry the message” is today’s reflection. In our actions today: in meetings sharing, tea making, greeting, putting out chairs for everyone. Connecting and making friends, supporting and cherishing. Learning to be ourselves and human, some days it’s so good we could burst and other days flat as a pancake. Very human, very ordinary and still very extraordinary one day at a time…

Sharing and not telling, being asked questions and helping another work out the answers right for them. We need not try to fix anyone, because a fix is short lived. We help and build on where a person is, love them until they find out what love is, so they can love, be loved back and find usefulness in living. It takes time and builds through time, and today is where it all happens…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 10 2010 ~ some of us may never have known serenity, some of us find serenity is restored daily, some of us are still finding out what serenity may be today. Sober each and every one may find truth, love and wisdom grows, and through sharing experience, strength and hope in recovery, we give so we may be sober today...

December 10 2010 ~ Life is difficult, that is the great truth and once we accept life is difficult, carrying the message of sobriety takes on new meaning. We can cope with life's hard knocks, enjoy the good in living, develop clarity in our outlook and share experience, strength and hope. We are part of life, included as we may be for today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "CARRYING THE MESSAGE Now, what about the rest of the Twelfth Step? The wonderful energy it releases and the eager action by which it carries our message to the next suffering alcoholic and which finally translates the Twelve Steps into action upon all our affairs is the payoff, the magnificent reality, of Alcoholics Anonymous. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 109

To renounce the alcoholic world is not to abandon it, but to act upon principles I have come to love and cherish, and to restore in others who still suffer the serenity I have come to know. When I am truly committed to this purpose, it matters little what clothes I wear or how I make a living. My task is to carry the message, and to lead by example, not design."

-/-

December 8 | AA 12 Steps In Action

2011-12-08T09:52:00.000Z

December 8 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

The “higher powerful” will help do what I cannot do for myself. Where is my higher power today? In truth, it is you and you and you… Powerful wisdom comes through others about sober, spiritual, dealing with my feelings, not expecting or deserving. Simply able to love, be loved and useful. All far better than a fix with a powerful high…

Am I spiritually fit this morning? I feel okay, my thinking is straight and so far I have behaved myself so far. But it’s early. Service is the key in daily reflections today and I am up for the challenge. The song "why is everyone always picking on me?" comes to the newcomers mind if I be a zealot today. Easy does it, stealthy and ready, I can be a “do gooder,” or simply do good if asked. If asked I will answer, freedom of choice is always key for everyone today...

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 8 2010 ~ Principles of unity, service and recovery, helps me keep learning how to be, "in the truest sense, an open channel of sobriety." Open, honest and willing to share: experience, strength and hope with courage, faith and confidence. One voice of the many voices finding truth, love and wisdom for today...

December 8 2010 ~ Service in the fellowship enriches us and those we help. We never lose our uniqueness or authenticity; we simply keep learning more about who we are daily. As we grow, others grow and our life choices become more diverse. In recovery anything is possible with the life we have now, based on reality and sober today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "SERVICE December 8 Life will take on a new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you. to have a host of friends – this is an experience you must not miss. . . . Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 89

It is through service that the greatest rewards are to be found. But to be in a position of offering true, useful and effective service to others, I must first work on myself. This means that I have to abandon myself to God, admitting my faults and clearing away the wreckage of my past. Work on myself has taught me how to find the necessary peace and serenity to successfully merge inspiration and experience. I have learned how to be, in the truest sense, an open channel of sobriety."

-/-

December 7 | AA 12 Steps In Action

2011-12-07T10:56:00.000Z

December 7 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Sharing the message of sobriety is difficult just like “life is difficult.” Denial, frustration, anger, and the inevitable depression which most experience. We find acceptance of how to live well and stop self harm. Not only sobriety, redemption follows and new living. Just for today is good enough…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 7 2010 ~ to love, be loved and useful. To keep learning and live to truth, open honest and willing endeavour. Those who can do, those who cannot and will not, cling to the "rock," stuck trying to control and manipulate. The view from the rock seems to be all about judging. I prefer a level playing field living with all twelve steps today...

December 7 2010 ~ God or and good conscience, what we come to believe, I learn daily if I take time to ask how to change resentments into acceptance, fear into hope and anger into love. We learn from each other, as we can be, the pedant, the inspirer, and most often from those who speak with the language of the heart, listening today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "TRUE AMBITION True ambition is not what we thought it was. True ambition is the deep desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of God. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 124-125

During my drinking years, my one and only concern was to have my fellow man think highly of me. My ambition in everything I did was to have the power to be at the top. My inner self kept telling me something else but I couldn’t accept it. I didn’t even allow myself to realize that I wore a mask continually. Finally, when the mask came off and I cried out to the only God I could conceive, the Fellowship of A.A., my group and the Twelve Steps were there. I learned how to change resentments into acceptance, fear into hope and anger into love. I have learned also, through loving without undo expectations, through sharing my concerns and caring for my fellow man, that each day can be joyous and fruitful. I begin and end my day with thanks to God, who has so generously shed His grace on me."

-/-

December 6 | AA 12 Steps In Action

2011-12-06T12:43:00.000Z

December 6 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

When the chips are down my higher power works through the people I come to know and trust. All people, from fellowship, to family, to community and to the professionals who monitor medical conditions received in sobriety. The chips have been down on many occasions, and the wisdom of the many has helped me out of many a scrape encountered one day at a time…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 6 2010 ~ Evolution and Revolution... we are all evolving, change is happening. Change happens sometimes quickly sometimes slowly. Progress is good even though it can be gut wrenching at times. When a revolution is in play inside me, from problem to solution, I lean on fellowship for experience strength and hope one day at a time...

December 6 2010 ~ many have more knowledge than me, many have more experience, many have more wisdom. Many together provide me with guidance in fellowship. I hope I can listen, learn and find answers. Listening and humility, always learning as my experience grows, to feel and deal with reality as it may be today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "December 6 Step Twelve A.A. Daily Reflections ~} "WHEN THE CHIPS ARE DOWN" When we developed still more, we discovered the best possible source of emotional stability to be God Himself. We found that dependence upon His perfect justice, forgiveness, and love was healthy, and that it would work where nothing else would. If we really depended upon God, we couldn’t very well play God to our fellows nor would we feel the urge wholly to rely on human protection and care. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 116

It has been my experience that, when all human resources appear to have failed, there is always One who will never desert me. Moreover, He is always there to share my joy, to steer me down the right path, and to confide in when no one else will do. While my well-being and happiness can be added to, or diminished, by human efforts, only God can provide the loving nourishment upon which I depend for my daily spiritual health."

-/-

December 5 | AA 12 Steps In Action

2011-12-06T12:19:00.002Z

December 5 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

From a life where secrets kept us stuck, to a way of living where we practice being open, honest and willing. It is progress and often we go backwards to reinforce moving forwards is key. Life lessons always happen, as old behaviour catches our breath, and new behaviour offers serenity even on the worst of days…

Spiritual principles to live life "real" ~ "Forgiveness" "Acceptance" "Surrender" "Faith" "Open-mindedness" "Honesty" "Willingness" "Inventory" "Amends" "Humility" "Persistence" "Spiritual-Living"

"Service"

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 5 2010 ~ Self Prejudice! In recovery we endeavour to be sober from being an active alcoholic to an alcoholic in recovery, from the problem to solution on a daily basis. Self-prejudice shackles us to our past and progress is difficult. Worse, self-prejudice opens the door to prejudice of others. Tolerance and love are key today...

December 5 2010 ~ Self Contempt! Makes us bitter and contemptuous of everyone. We live chained to our old attitudes of judging ourselves and others. Stuck in the problem and old thinking hampers our spiritual progress. Truth, love and wisdom will restore our conscious contact with reality if we are open, honest and willing today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "A NEW STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS" He has been granted a gift which amounts to a new state of consciousness and being. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p 107

Many of us in A.A. puzzle over what is a spiritual awakening. I tended to look for a miracle, something dramatic and earth shattering. But what usually happens is that a sense of well-being, a feeling of peace, transforms us into a new level of awareness. That’s what happened to me. My insanity and inner turmoil disappeared and I entered into a new dimension of hope, love and peace. I think the degree to which I continue to experience this new dimension is in direct proportion to the sincerity, depth and devotion with which I practice the Twelve Steps of A.A."

-/-

December 4 | AA 12 Steps In Action

2011-12-06T11:22:00.003Z

December 4 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Open, honest and willing my actions will be decided not just by me, but the wisdom I learn from others. Open I share, honest people hear what I believe to be true, and always willing to change today…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 4 2010 ~ A.A. All About - Action. When I become complacent in fellowship, I may sit back, listen and expect my life to be fixed by just being there. Before fellowship I was active finding the next fix, the next drink. In recovery action is key. As I share experience strength and hope, sober feels right and is my reality today...

December 4 2010 ~ A.A. All About Sober. And all about action, the twelve steps, to be open, honest and willing to work at life. I could be a tourist today, or I can do something useful for my fellows. We can relax and we can work at changing, find balance when it is possible. Life works when we face reality sober today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "INTO ACTION December 4 A.A. is more than a set of principles; it is a society of alcoholics in action. We must carry the message, else we ourselves can wither and those who haven’t been given the truth may die. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 13

I desperately wanted to live, but if I was to succeed, I had to become active in our God-given program. I joined what became my group, where I opened the hall, made coffee, and cleaned up. I had been sober about three months when an old timer told me I was doing Twelfth-Step work. What a satisfying realization that was! I felt I was really accomplishing something. God had given me a second chance, A.A. had shown me the way, and these gifts were not only free – they were also priceless! Now the joy of seeing newcomers grow reminds me of where I have come from, where I am now, and the limitless possibilities that lie ahead. I need to attend meetings because they recharge my batteries so that I have light when it’s needed. I’m still a beginner in service work, but already I am receiving more than I’m giving. I can’t keep it unless I give it away. I am responsible when another reaches out for help. I want to be there – sober."

-/-

December 3 | AA 12 Steps In Action

2011-12-06T10:44:00.002Z

December 3 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

To practice these principles in all our affairs, the twelve steps: It is not a tall order for anyone as we accomplish so much more sober. We are not bound by doctrine or dogma, we develop freedom of choice and live to good choices more often as we live and learn today…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 3 2010 ~ conscious contact with reality... When my feelings match the experience I am having, my attitudes and behaviour show me the principles of the twelve steps are working in the moment of now. Emotional and spiritual wellbeing, feelings and reality in the moment and just for today...

December 3 2010 ~ step twelve, practicing these principles daily, wisdom improves my attitudes and behaviour. I experience life on life's terms, feelings and reality, when I know the mood I am in; I know my thinking is based on truth, love and wisdom. Mood, feelings and reality, my thinking is clearer just for today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "IN ALL OUR AFFAIRS we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 106

I find that carrying the message of recovery to other alcoholics is easy because it helps me to stay sober and it provides me with a sense of well-being about my own recovery. The hard part is practicing these principles in all my affairs. It is important that I share the benefits I receive from A.A., especially at home. Doesn’t my family deserve the same patience, tolerance and understanding I so readily give to the alcoholic? When reviewing my day I try to ask, “Did I have a chance to be a friend today and miss it?” ” Did I have a chance to rise above a nasty situation and avoid it?” “Did I have a chance to say ‘I’m sorry,’ and refuse to?” Just as I ask God for help with my alcoholism each day, I ask for help in extending my recovery to include all situations and all people!"

-/-

December 2 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-12-02T11:21:00.002Z

December 2 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Finance and romance all part of our spiritual awakenings, driven bonkers in our youth and then if fortune smiles, many people continue their growth in balance. All or nothing finance and romance and drink was not good for me and misunderstanding life and especially love. Today it is simple learning to love, be loved and useful, without conditions and unfolding in the moment, with no fear. Faith carries me today…

Each of us comes to an understanding about the spiritual life. I try to keep it simple and spiritual is living and coping with what is going on today. For a long time my outlook was made difficult by my drinking and I could not cope at all at the end, spiritual hell. Today I cope with reality, good, bad or simply a balance of both, asking for help in the moment… Your spiritual is always working for you...

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 2 2010 ~ Serenity for me is contingent on my spiritual condition. Coping with the way life is today and understanding the choices I have given my life situation. Knowing and experiencing my feelings as they change and life changes. Balance or extremes, in the moment and living life, to love, be loved and useful today...

December 2 2010 ~ Spiritual awakening in recovery? I have learned over the years that my spiritual awakening is continuous. We are always on our spiritual path in life. Today my ability to experience serenity is improved with each day sober. It is not about right or wrong, happy or sad, spiritual is being in reality in the moment of now...

-/-

AA Daily Reflections ~ "SERENITY ~ having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, . . . TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS

As I continued to go to meetings and work the Steps, something began to happen to me. I felt confused because I wasn’t sure what it was that I was feeling, and then I realized I was experiencing serenity. It was a good feeling, but where had it come from? Then I realized it had come “. . .as the result of these steps.” The program may not always be easy to practice, but I had to acknowledge that my serenity had come to me after working the Steps. As I work the Steps in everything I do, practicing these principles in all my affairs, now I find that I am awake to God, to others, and to myself. The spiritual awakening I have enjoyed as the result of working the Steps is the awareness that I am no longer alone."

-/-

December 1 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-12-01T11:43:00.003Z

December 1 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

All the steps have helped me cut away the “dead wood thinking, and heartbreak feelings” and keep the solid foundation of who I am and have been becoming. Space to grow and learn, indeed the greatest gift is learning life day to day. As others grow I learn from them. Emotional and spiritual, knowing how I feel in the moment of now, always the best starting point each day…

December daily reflections focus on step 12. "Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." I was laughing at myself recently, I am becoming an old man, and a love affair is still possible I am told. Starting with love of life, cherishing people as they are, and realising we need never say never… at the same time beware the thirteenth step!

DonInLondon 2005-2010

December 1 2010 ~ "suggested" was so important to me. For years I had been out of control and not able to function. The last thing I wanted in recovery was to be bound up in rules and regulations or worse, be told what to do. Suggestions, 12 steps to help me be unique and authentic, which work giving me freedom and choices for today...

December 1 2010 ~ when it was suggested I needed to quit drinking, I was angry and resentful. Drink had made it possible to survive a horrible life, and now a fellowship to help me stop! In the end I realised my plight, and it was suggestions which helped me let go what was killing me. Steady sober progress works for me just for a day...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "SUGGESTED" STEPS ~ Our Twelfth Step also says that as a result of practicing all the Steps, we have each found something called a spiritual awakening. . . A.A.’s manner of making ready to receive this gift lies in the practice of the Twelve Steps in our program. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 106-107

I remember my sponsor’s answer when I told him that the Steps were “suggested.” He replied that they are “suggested” in the same way that, if you were to jump out of an airplane with a parachute, it is “suggested” that you pull the ripcord to save your life. He pointed out that it was “suggested” I practice the Twelve Steps, if I wanted to save my life. So I try to remember daily that I have a whole program of recovery based on all Twelve of the “suggested" steps..."

-/-

November 30 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-11-30T11:57:00.002Z

November 30 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

There is no “why me?” in recovery, it is more a case of “why not me?” The same for any killer ailment or disease if we realise the truth is “why not me?” we can stop blaming ourselves or anyone or even god. It is in our nature, genes and providence and we can seek help. Fear and self-loathing can keep us sick, faith and asking for help can open up possibilities, never about guarantees or certainties today…

“Attraction is the main force in the Fellowship of A.A.” What you see is what you get “wysiwyg.” Humility offers the opportunity to learn about life every day with the key principles; to be open, honest and willing. I can ask for help from anyone anywhere at any time. When I ask those who can help do, those who cannot don’t, and I learn the wisdom and know the difference just for a day…

At any time in recovery, we will fail at some endeavour and need try and try again. I would never judge anyone trying to follow the path of others in sobriety. A killer disease which gnaws at our emotional, physical and spiritual core, without respite ends life so often. The clarity to thoroughly follow the path takes time. It takes a fellowship to keep me sober, just as it takes a village to raise a child…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

November 30 2010: Fellowship: the work of the many, sharing experience strength and hope daily which makes sobriety possible. And meetings; what you see is what you get on the day. We are all making progress daily. Today, a snapshot can be good or bad depending on what disturbs us. Always real, always progress not perfection...

November 30 2010: Anonymity for sanctuary to find sobriety and truth. In the rooms we do not hide our success or failure or if we slip back. AA works for me because sobriety is one day at a time. We cannot guarantee anything; life is difficult, sober however we are able to live, to love, be loved and useful one day at a time...

AA Daily Reflections: "PROTECTION FOR ALL" At the personal level, anonymity provides protection for all members from identification as alcoholics, a safeguard often of special importance to newcomers. At the level of press, radio, TV, and films, anonymity stresses the equality in the Fellowship of all members by putting the brake on those who might otherwise exploit their A.A. affiliation to achieve recognition, power, or personal gain. “UNDERSTANDING ANONYMITY,” p. 5

Attraction is the main force in the Fellowship of A.A. The miracle of continuous sobriety of alcoholics within A.A. confirms this fact every day. It would be harmful if the Fellowship promoted itself by publicizing, through the media of radio and TV, the sobriety of well-known public personalities who became members of A.A. If these personalities happened to have slips, outsiders would think our movement is not strong and they might question the veracity of the miracle of the century. Alcoholics Anonymous is not anonymous, but its members should be."

-/-

November 29 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-11-29T10:24:00.002Z

November 29 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Tenacious and not a quitter, see things through, I would fall in love, do everything to make a relationship work. And with work whatever hours to get the job done. I would do anything to make anything possible. A can do man. Now I am a can do, cannot do man, learning the wisdom to know the difference one day at a time…

Self seeking and denial, stubbornness and defiance are not so good for me today. These characteristics made me successful for many a year with the wrong people, in the wrong places and with things which have no value in recovery. Letting go and seeing the truth, how to love and be loved back with the right people in the right places at the right time, makes living in the moment imperfectly perfect. And humility to keep learning is tough and so rewarding just for today…

Prayer and meditation alert me to my part in life. It is never going to help me know your part in matters and tell you. I can change me, my attitudes and behaviour. My feelings and mood will always tell me why I think the way I do. Angry, I will blame you, hurt I may blame myself, balanced I will have no need of blame. Whatever my feelings, if I know what they are I can see solutions rather than problems today…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

November 29 2010 ~ Unity, service and recovery! My favourite past times involve greeting and making the tea, difficult in recent times. From turning up to doing the chores we all do what we can. They may be called commitments or chores, I always feel better for having done something like useful in my case silence may be key...

November 29 2010 ~ Active guardians of the principles: to be open, honest and willing to live sober today and in fellowship: practice unity, service and recovery. We do what we are able to do, and share experience, strength and hope as we may. Truth is my spiritual compass, not my opinion, the truth as it is with love and wisdom today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "ACTIVE GUARDIANS” NOVEMBER 29 To us, however, it represents far more than a sound public relations policy. It is more than a denial of self-seeking. This Tradition is a constant and practical reminder that personal ambition has no place in A.A. In it, each member becomes an active guardian of our Fellowship. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 183

The basic concept of humility is expressed in the Eleventh Tradition: it allows me to participate completely in the program in such a simple, yet profound manner; it fulfils my need to be an integral part of a significant whole. Humility brings me closer to the actual spirit of togetherness and oneness, without which I could not stay sober. In remembering that every member is an example of sobriety, each one living the Eleventh Tradition, I am able to experience freedom because each one of us is anonymous."

-/-

November 28 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-11-28T10:19:00.002Z

November 28 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

A newcomer says

in a meeting “there is nothing wrong with the twelve step process, but there is something wrong with you lot, this is my last meeting and you lot talk fucking bollocks.” He may be right, as we work out what to do with our bollocks one day at a time.

We chatted after the meeting and he was convinced he would take care of his own bollocks. I hope he can, and if not the door is always open, after all its just for a day…

I work with attraction not promotion today. As I have come to

understand, attraction is “what you see is what you get.” And promotion is more of a fixing nature, a guarantee of success. I am attracted to the good, the bad and the ugly as we share experience strength and hope. And we redeem ourselves

in what we do daily. Our consequences are what they are. How we live sober improves our outlook today…

I am attracted to these spiritual principles to live life "real" ~ "Forgiveness" "Acceptance" "Surrender" "Faith" "Open-

mindedness" "Honesty" "Willingness" "Inventory" "Amends" "Humility" "Persistence" "Spiritual-Living" "Service"

DonInLondon 2005-2010

November 28 2010: attraction not promotion. Is it better to be open and honest,

with "what you see in fellowship is what you get in fellowship?" I for one found it difficult, not perfect ever, it took several attempts before sober stuck. Rarely have we seen a person fail once we understand how to be sober one day at a time...

November 28 2010: warts and all! Promotion by personality can lead back to illusions of power rather than powerlessness over people places and things. We lean on the many for support, not individuals or they fall trying to save us.

Unity and strength in fellowship, love the foundation of all we do for each other...

-/-

AA Daily Reflections ~ "ATTRACTION, NOT PROMOTION" Through many painful experiences, we think we have arrived at what that policy

ought to be. It is the opposite in many ways of usual promotional practice. We found that we had to rely upon the principle of attraction rather than promotion. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 180-81

While I was

drinking I reacted with anger, self-pity and defiance against anyone who wanted to change me. All I wanted then was to be accepted by another human simply as I was and, curiously, that is what I found in A.A. I became the custodian of this

concept of attraction, which is the principle of our Fellowship’s public relations. It is by attraction that I can best reach the alcoholic who still suffers. I thank God for having given me the attraction of a well-planned and established program of

Steps and Traditions. Through humility and the support of my fellow sober members, I have been able to practice the A.A. way of life through attraction, not promotion."

-/-

November 27 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-11-27T11:51:00.002Z

November 27 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Self prejudice: not feeling good enough, preferring a fantasy rather than reality. What will people think if they know the truth about me? The truth is I drank for decades because life was difficult and now I don’t drink because life is difficult. I can cope with reality, be truthful and if people are prejudiced against me or anyone in recovery, I can fuck off and mind my own business today…

Should there be a public face to fellowship? I would suggest no. Fellowship has the broadest appeal to those with a desire to stop drinking because no one can represent the views of anyone else on anything. I cannot represent you and you cannot represent me. How we share experience, strength and hope is always a personal choice inside and outside fellowship. Open, honest and willing to be truthful works well for me…

Beautiful autumn turquoise skies, a few hours of daylight and I can appreciate the array. Clouds dark and light grey wispily drift. I can see with clarity in the moment, nothing else on my mind but the imperfectly perfect moment of now. There may be a million worldly worries of deep concern, and still a moment of complete acceptance and serenity listening to the universe…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

November 27 2010 ~ limelight? If we are open, honest and willing in our endeavours, we share experience, strength and hope with humility. What would I do if I slipped or relapsed because of my life situation? For me to share the truth, ask for help and support where I know there is wisdom and love, in the fellowship of AA...

November 27 2010 ~ Life is full of peril, we are all subject to tragic moments, ourselves, family and communities. Anonymity serves a purpose in recovery and in recovery I have found, open honest and willing, truth love and wisdom are key principles to live my life. I am an open book today. Unique and authentic we are always...

-/-

AA Daily Reflections ~ "THE PERILS OF THE LIMELIGHT" In the beginning, the press could not understand our refusal of all personal publicity. They were genuinely baffled by our insistence upon anonymity. Then they got the point. Here was something rare in the world — a society which said it wished to publicize its principles and its work, but not its individual members. The press was delighted with this attitude. Ever since, these friends have reported A.A. with an enthusiasm which the most ardent members would find hard to match. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 182

It is essential for my personal survival and that of the Fellowship that I not use A.A. to put myself in the limelight. Anonymity is a way for me to work on my humility. Since pride is one of my most dangerous shortcomings, practicing humility is one of the best ways to overcome it. The Fellowship of A.A. gains worldwide recognition by its various methods of publicizing its principles and its work, not by its individual members advertising themselves. The attraction created by my changing attitudes and my altruism contributes much more to the welfare of A.A. than self-promotion."

-/-

November 26 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-11-26T10:40:00.002Z

November 26 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Feelings are often an inconvenient truth, and then we think we ought not have these feelings. If we have natural feelings, and natural instincts our thinking is usually okay. Extreme feelings, we need talk them through with our spiritual guides, god and good conscience, and in my case anyone with a clear head who can listen...

Honesty, truth and humility are essential to learning life and being willing to change. When I am open honest and willing anyone anywhere can help me. When I hide the truth from you about my sobriety and my need to be sober, you are less able to help me. In my community, which includes fellowship, family and many other connections, the truth helps anyone anywhere to keep me safe today. Fear of people knowing all about me will make me silent, faith will keep open. I need never fear who I am or what people think of me today...

As a fellowship there are hazards in publicity. And the debate on publicity has been lively since AA began. There is no public face to fellowship which keeps everyone equal within our society. Anonymity keeps people safe and is sacrosanct to me, so we all find the truth of who we are. Truth improves our spiritual living. Truth is my foundation for spiritual living in the moment of now. Truth keeps me open honest and willing, enough fear and developing faith in living sober one day at a time

DonInLondon 2005-2010

November 26 2010 ~ hazards of judging motives. Do I judge you by my standards, and do you judge me by your standards will always lead to a failure to communicate. Prejudice and judgments lead to anger and resentments. In the solution of sober living, with courage faith and confidence, acceptance is the key for me today...

November 26 2010 ~ Hazards of publicity are often a binding conundrum in motive. Narcissism or the opposite, selflessness... Attraction, what you see is what you get, face to face. Promotion: a guarantee of fixing a problem. Spiritual and human, the acceptance of life on life's terms, the humility to keep learning life one day at a time...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "THE HAZARDS OF PUBLICITY" People who symbolize causes and ideas fill a deep human need. We of A.A. do not question that. But we do have to soberly face the fact that being in the public eye is hazardous, especially for us. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 181

As a recovered alcoholic I must make an effort to put into practice the principles of the A.A. program, which are founded on honesty, truth and humility. While I was drinking I was constantly trying to be in the limelight. Now that I am conscious of my mistakes and of my former lack of integrity, it would not be honest to seek prestige, even for the justifiable purpose of promoting the A.A. message of recovery. Is the publicity that centers around the A.A. Fellowship and the miracles it produces not worth much more? Why not let the people around us appreciate by themselves the changes that A.A. has brought in us, for that will be a far better recommendation for the Fellowship than any I could make."

-/-

November 25 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-11-25T09:48:00.002Z

November 25 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

As there are no rules laws or regulations in fellowship, we cannot violate traditions or the steps, but we can violate each other’s understanding of a tradition or a step. Being respectful of each other and our opinions, a desire to be sober today, life is more likely to work to the good, and less to conflict? The freedom is to live truth not opinion, to share experience, strength and hope, not fiction. Spiritual living is living the truth as it is right now today…

The fellowship public relations policy: is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films. Attraction, what you see in fellowship is what you get as a daily experience. Promotion implies we can fix people, we cannot fix a person, a person desires sobriety today and keeps sober today with freedom to choose.

DonInLondon 2005-2010

November 25 2010 ~ Truth, love and wisdom has become my spiritual base after many years of being in a wilderness of material wants and desires. Living to truth, not my interpretation of what it ought to be, learning to love and be loved without expectation keeps me right sized. Wisdom learned in doing and from others today...

November 25 2010 ~ Anonymity feels right when we know there is prejudice. We need time to find recovery. At the same time anonymity can be the roughest form of self harm, a denial of who we are becoming today. Truth need be my compass, or I run the risk of fear of being found out, a brave face to cover up. I feel right sized today...

-/-

AA Daily Reflections ~ "A POWERFUL TRADITION" In the years before the publication of the book “Alcoholics Anonymous,” we had no name. . .by a narrow majority the verdict was for naming our book “The Way Out.” . . .One of our early lone members. . . found exactly twelve books already titled “The Way Out.”. . . So “Alcoholics Anonymous” became first choice. That’s how we got a name for our book of experience, a name for our movement and, as we are now beginning to see, a tradition of the greatest spiritual import. “A.A. TRADITION: HOW IT DEVELOPED.” pp. 35-36

Beginning with Bill’s momentous decision in Akron to make a telephone call rather than a visit to the hotel bar, how often has a Higher Power made itself felt at crucial moments in our history! The eventual importance that the principle of anonymity would acquire was but dimly perceived, if at all, in those early days. There seems to have been an element of chance even in the choice of a name for our Fellowship. God is no stranger to anonymity and often appears in human affairs in the guises of “luck”, “chance,” or “coincidence.” If anonymity, somewhat fortuitously, became the spiritual basis for all of our Traditions, perhaps God was acting anonymously on our behalf."

-/-

November 24 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-11-24T11:41:00.002Z

November 24 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

When writing a life story as part of step 4 in the fellowship, I needed to write down where life worked and where life broke down. As a result I needed to really accept my part in all matters. This made possible the transition from not blaming the world or me, and still accepting consequences and making amends for the past and immediate amends today. To love, be loved and useful, cherishing life today…

Working with what works to be sober today. Back in the day I thought I knew better, and I did judge the world and everyone in it “As Don saw it.” Today, the more I know, the less I know. It is a good day when I know what makes me tick, and it’s even better now I don’t know what makes anyone else tick. If I have to learn what works for me, I need learn what works for you; assumptions are resentments under construction…

I guess I may be described as a Big Book enthusiast, and also a 12&12 is where I get even more help learning life today. I don't mind what people think, its what works daily and keeps me fitter than otherwise. I would not want to be a dry drunk today...

DonInLondon 2005-2010

November 24 2010 ~ Emotional, spiritual and physical, sober today. Sober is the priority so I may experience reality as it is right now. Emotional being: knowing how I am feeling right now, why, and what to do. Spiritual being: connected to reality right now and present. The universal search for truth, love and wisdom, we find it in the moment of now...

November 24 2010 ~ I can share my experience strength and hope, it does not mean my answers are right for you. It may help another person focus on what is right for them. I draw wisdom from any and every source to help me in my actions to be sober, to love, be loved and useful. Living reality as it may be today...

-/-

AA Daily Reflections ~ "A UNIVERSAL SEARCH" NOVEMBER 24 be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 87

I do not claim to have all the answers in spiritual matters, any more than I claim to have all the answers about alcoholism. There are others who are also engaged in a spiritual search. If I keep an open mind about what others have to say, I have much to gain. My sobriety is greatly enriched, and my practice of the Eleventh Step more fruitful, when I use both the literature and practices of my Judeo-Christian tradition, and the resources of other religions. Thus, I receive support from many sources in staying away from the first drink."

-/-

November 23 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-11-23T10:11:00.002Z

November 23 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Just because you are good at something does not mean you should. We can become excellent in many roles in life; it does not mean it is good for us or even the path we should take. Sometimes necessity drives us, nature and providence, economy and need. Freedom of choice takes time and need be based on reality, not fantasy. Spiritual is reality and living it, fantasy is often based on superstition, dreams and fear that reality cannot live up to our expectations today…

If you ask for help, I can suggest and support but not instruct. If I ask for help, listen and make better choices I learn and grow. I need enough fear to keep safe, enough faith to broaden my experience. And sometimes learning is at the extremes of feeling and often more helpful when there is a balance in feelings and experiences. When we take it to the limit all the time, we can break and some never recover to live a life again…

What may get in the way of my emotional and spiritual growth? Not knowing what emotional and spiritual growth means to me, because for years it was going on, limited by my outlook and starved by my lack of understanding. Today I realise it is so simple I could not see it. To live open, honest and willing, to learn what my feelings are right now and cope with the situation I am having today…

Emotional ~ a conscious mental reaction (as anger or fear) experienced as strong feeling usually directed toward a specific incident causing physiological and behavioural changes in the body. And the spiritual experience, for me is living in the moment where feelings fit with reality, not exaggerate or underplayed. I feel the moment and can cope with what is going on today…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

November 23 2010 ~ if I am learning who I am on a daily basis, living reality and not fantasy, feeling the moment of now, happy or sad as life experience is, then I am fit spiritually. With humility, the capacity to keep learning continues. So easy to falter, become judgmental and prejudiced, then I block my spiritual progress and likely yours too today...

November 23 2010 ~ I can feel hurt by my history, and if I fall into what if's and why not's I am stuck. I need see the world as it is today, feel the feelings and understand them, not push away half of what nature has given me. Anger and resentments are part of what we feel daily until we accept life on life's terms. I accept I am human today...

-/-

AA Daily Reflections ~ "ONLY TWO SINS" there are only two sins; the first is to interfere with the growth of another human being, and the second is to interfere with one’s own growth. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 542

Happiness is such an elusive state. How often do my “prayers” for others involve “hidden” prayers for my own agenda? How often is my search for happiness a boulder in the path of growth for another, or even myself? Seeking growth through humility and acceptance brings things that appear to be anything but good, wholesome and vital. Yet in looking back, I can see that pain, struggles and setbacks have all contributed eventually to serenity through growth in the program. I ask my Higher Power to help me not cause another’s lack of growth today — or my own."

-/-

November 22 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-11-22T14:59:00.002Z

November 22 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Holding our face up to the light, or when we hold our face in our hands in the dark, both experiences are just as they may be right now. Happy or horrible, horribly unhappy, or tragically funny, this is life in the moment. We can cope with help and support in fellowship and outside fellowship. Enough fear to be alert, enough faith to keep on going sober today…

Beautiful day, my sister in town and we spent the morning together. A friend in fellowship drops in and meets her! We sit and chat, my sister leaves and then another wonderful conversation about life. We agree life is one day long, and whatever happens today, if we cope with it, understand unconditional love, we can go to bed happy enough. And if we don’t wake up tomorrow, we have missed nothing!

DonInLondon 2005-2010

November 23 2010 ~ Life on life's terms? Why was it so difficult to stop my alcoholic drinking? Drink had become the reward when life was good, the way to oblivion when life was so hard I could not cope. Alcoholics Anonymous offered the solution to my problem, unbearable in early days to give up my best friend which was killing me slowly daily...

November 23 2010 ~ Suggestions from happy people and sad people who had stopped their drinking made me suspicious. My refusal to accept my alcoholism in early days, my paranoia, and my rejection of the solution took a while. I look back but don't stare at the horror. Sober and with help I can cope one day at a time...

-/-

AA Daily Reflections ~ "HOLD YOUR FACE TO THE LIGHT” NOVEMBER 23 Believe more deeply. Hold your face up to the Light, even though for the moment you do not see. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 3

One Sunday in October, during my morning meditation, I glanced out the window at the ash tree in our front yard. At once I was overwhelmed by its magnificent, golden colour! As I stared in awe at God’s work of art, the leaves began to fall and, within minutes, the branches were bare. Sadness came over me as I thought of the winter months ahead, but just as I was reflecting on autumn’s annual process, God’s message came through. Like the trees, stripped of their leaves in the fall, sprout new blossoms in the spring, I had my compulsive, selfish ways removed by God in order for me to blossom into a sober, joyful member of A.A. Thank you, God, for the changing seasons and for my ever-changing life."

-/-

November 21 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-11-21T08:42:00.002Z

November 21 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

What we see is what we get today. In fellowship we see progress and not perfection. We hear about success and calamity within moments. We hear about love and loss, we learn over and over that fellowship and recovery are about living life real. We are attracted to truth, not lies, we attracted to humanity, not perfection. We learn to love each other. Attraction to truth: and not promotion of a fiction, not fixing, learning and coping with reality today. Anonymity is sacrosanct to help us find our truth. Anonymity is a personal decision always. And we need never be ashamed of the truth, the hardship, the journey, progress and not perfection, every one of us imperfectly perfect in the moment of now...

Sometimes, the meeting before the meeting and the meeting after the meeting gives us so much more than we may ever expect. Truly wonderful getting to know people we would never have otherwise met is a true gift. Fellowship: freely given, freely received, and unconditional. To love, be loved and useful today...

Attraction Not Promotion - Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films... Promotion of a "fix" is never on the agenda, attraction to the truth and how recovery works, "if at first we don't succeed, whilst we draw breath we can try again." Sharing the truth, that fellowship provides the conditions and tool kit to be sober one day at a time, freedom to make better choices sober is as good as it gets. There is no blame attached to people in fellowship, addiction is the culprit, a life and death struggle with something we are powerless over. Fellowship, an imperfectly perfect solution? Always and never a fix today...

DonInLondon 2005-2010

November 21 2010 ~ how am I feeling, why and what can I do today? In the spirit of unity service and recovery, if I know my mood and feelings, I can reflect and collect my thoughts to make the best of this day by helping others in fellowship. And I can practice these principles in all my affairs, right sized and human today...

November 21 2010 ~ Sharing experience strength and hope of what I have learned in recovery might help a newcomer. And when a newcomer shares the experience strength and hope, I listen and learn. Fellowship is all about learning from each other and having the humility to be human. Humility, the ability to learn and change always...

-/-

AA Daily Reflections ~ "SERVING MY BROTHER" The member talks to the newcomer not in a spirit of power but in a spirit of humility and weakness. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS COMES OF AGE p. 279

As the days pass in A.A., I ask God to guide my thoughts and the words that I speak. In this labour of continuous participation in the Fellowship, I have numerous opportunities to speak. So I frequently ask God to help me watch over my thoughts and my words, that they may be the true and proper reflections of our program; to focus my aspirations once again to seek His guidance; to help me be truly kind and loving, helpful and healing, yet always filled with humility, and free from any trace of arrogance. Today I may very well have to deal with disagreeable attitudes or utterances — the typical stock-in-trade attitude of the still-suffering alcoholic. If this should happen, I will take a moment to centre myself in God, so that I will be able to respond from a perspective of composure, strength and sensibility."

-/-

November 20 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-11-20T09:47:00.002Z

November 20 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Yesterday: a meeting and sharing from the heart. Not mushy or fuzzy, simple reality. What it is like to feel the grip of sleeplessness when there is no reason to be wide awake in the middle of the night. Surrounded by love we can still feel the ice cold fear. And we can feel the fear as we feel powerless over calamity. Feelings are real, and when there is no evidence to fear, we can settle. When there is reason to fear and real calamity, we have fellowship and any other number of people we may ask for help. We need not hide; we need find expression with the right people in the right place and at the right time...

My way: just me, thy way; the many ways of living and wisdom around us. Over time and I do believe it takes whatever time it takes we do learn that isolated feelings and isolated thinking have let us down and made life more difficult than it need be. Fear of asking in case of ridicule, feeling shame and guilt will keep us in the dark. Courage and faith to ask for help, from anyone and everyone, know it is good not to know the answers. Wisdom resides in the many and we need only ask for help. Those who can help will, those who cannot will not. Our response either way is always learning in the moment of now...

DonInLondon 2005-2010

November 20 2010 ~ “I did it thy way,” or “I did it my way...” My way or the Thy Way! Expectations are resentments under construction in a world where we are all linked and have common ground, family, community and work. If it were all my way, what a narrow and small outlook I would have, I love the big picture and sober today...

November 20 2010 ~ Thy will and my will, what is the difference? Simple and only complicated by a selfish outlook, my uninformed outlook. Lost in alcohol back then, alone and unable to function, to now and able to see the big picture of life. Perspective is always there if I look to good, good conscience and fit with reality today...

-/-

AA Daily Reflections ~ "THY WILL, NOT MINE” when making specific requests, it will be well to add to each one of them this qualification. .” ... If it be Thy will.” TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 102-03

I ask simply that throughout the day God place in me the best understanding of His will that I can have for that day, and that I be given the grace by which I may carry it out. As the day goes on, I can pause when facing situations that must be met and decisions that must be made, and renew the simple request: “Thy will, not mine, be done.” I must always keep in mind that in every situation I am responsible for the effort and God is responsible for the outcome. I can “Let Go and Let God” by humbly repeating: “Thy will, not mine, be done.” Patience and persistence in seeking His will for me will free me from the pain of selfish expectations."

-/-

November 19 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-11-19T09:33:00.002Z

November 19 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Connoisseur ~ expert; especially : one who understands the details, technique, or principles of an art and is competent to act as a critical judge... that was me with a drink in hand and a head brimming with judgments. Expert drinker; expert worker; expert lover; after all I must have been given the quantity of consumption? Was I deluded? Indeed I was, blunted by indulgence made superficial and indifferent by excess and success, life was meaningless. Today I am a learner, how to live and cherish is a daily exercise, to love and be loved, unconditional and then to be useful in whatever endeavour may come my way today... A learner always in the moment of now...

As I understand it, the word serenity is defined as: clear and free of storms or unpleasant change, "the serenity in the aftermath of the tornado was remarkable." In the grip of addiction my emotional and spiritual core, my inner storms fuelled by fear, covering up and a never feeling good enough and fixing myself to cope with reality was a living hell. Serenity today is knowing my feelings are real, feelings shape my thinking and actions, living the truth of now I can cope and ask for help when I do not know what the next right action may be. I cannot fix reality to my way; I can live reality, life on life's terms. Serenity is acceptance and freedom of choice today...

DonInLondon 2005-2010

November 19 2010 ~ practicing these principles in all our affairs... happy or sad, serious or light hearted we do take stock of where we are today. And sometimes when life is tough and I feel angry or resentful, all I need do is remind myself that each day sober has been made possible by a fellowship which supports me all the way...

November 19 2010 ~ what has fellowship given me? The ability to cope with reality, which some suggest is spiritual. Indeed I do believe reality is our spiritual life. Practical and pragmatic we are in unity, service and recovery. Prayer and meditation reminds me always to remember the still suffering alcoholic each and every day...

-/-

AA Daily Reflections ~ "I WAS SLIPPING FAST” We A.A.’s are active folk, enjoying the satisfactions of dealing with the realities of life... So it isn’t surprising that we often tend to slight serious meditation and prayer as something not really necessary. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 96

I had been slipping away from the program for some time, but it took a death threat from a terminal disease to bring me back, and particularly to the practice of the Eleventh Step of our blessed Fellowship. Although I had fifteen years of sobriety and was still very active in the program, I knew that the quality of my sobriety had slipped badly. Eighteen months later, a check-up revealed a malignant tumour and a prognosis of certain death within six months. Despair settled in when I enrolled in a rehab program, after which I suffered two small strokes which revealed two large brain tumours. As I kept hitting new bottoms I had to ask myself why this was happening to me. God allowed me to recognize my dishonesty and to become teachable again. Miracles began to happen. But primarily I relearned the whole meaning of the Eleventh Step. My physical condition has improved dramatically, but my illness is minor compared to what I almost lost completely."

-/-

November 18 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-11-18T10:56:00.002Z

November 18 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

Outstanding ability to be stubborn and defiant? I was and really did not know, I thought I was simply determined and tenacious, not a quitter and able to keep on going when others would give up. Served me well I thought in matters of romance, finance and work... just because I was good at many ways of living, it did not mean those ways of life were right for me. Today I learn what is good for me sober today...

Alcohol was my best friend for a long, long time helping me to live with all aspects of life. At least I thought so back in the day. Happy me, pour me a drink, poor me and pour myself a drink. In company we fixed ourselves with a drink, took the edge off and then so often took our clothes off too... Tall and short stories of times past. Today, now my feelings fit the reality I am living, no more taking the edge off, I know when to keep my clothes on and take them off in the right place with the right person and at the right time... Progress not protection, one lay no one day at a time...

DonInLondon 2005-2010

November 18 2010 ~ Why me... Why not me? Daily life was tough back then in the grip of alcohol and today it is still tough. I smile when writing these words and then feel happier knowing exactly what is going on for me, how I am feeling, why and what I can and cannot do. The difference? Truth, love and wisdom, and freedom today...

November 18 2010 ~ Meditation and prayer helps me develop clarity and purpose. I have clarity today, unlike before, and driven to prove my value one way or another. When I am angry and resentful, and reflect on my part in matters, there is no shame or guilt in asking for help and wisdom from others today…

-/-

AA Daily Reflections ~ "A SAFETY NET" Occasionally. . . We are seized with a rebellion so sickening that we simply won’t pray. When these things happen we should not think too ill of ourselves. We should simply resume prayer as soon as we can, doing what we know to be good for us. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 105

Sometimes I scream, stomp my feet, and turn my back on my Higher Power. Then my disease tells me that I am a failure, and that if I stay angry I’ll surely get drunk. In those moments of self-will it’s as if I’ve slipped over a cliff and am hanging by one hand. The above passage is my safety net, in that it urges me to try some new behaviour, such as being kind and patient with myself. It assures me that my Higher Power will wait until I am willing once again to risk letting go, to land in the net, and to pray."

-/-

November 17 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-11-17T13:16:00.002Z

November 17 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

The difference between loneliness and solitude: Back then when and endless supply of drink seemed like my best friend, I would isolate from the world because reality was just too painful. I had a right to drink away my life, after all, life had become empty and lonely as heartbreak followed heartbreak. I had lost my ability to love, be loved and make sense of the grand design to experience life. Today, solitude offers time to reflect and meditate and be a part of the grand design of providence and nature, know how to love, be loved and a part of reality, to laugh and cry, to feel joy and sadness as experience offers, away from ego's drift and into the moment of now...

With a critical eye, many of us have learned to judge our fellows. Indeed we have become expert and professional, able to dismantle and see what makes life tick. People, places and things are undone with a scientific disposition we can unravel what were once mysteries. As observers we are often trapped in the negative, as participants we are active in the outcomes. Observation and isolation can keep us in the problem; participation and action move us into the solution today. In the solution, day by day we can feel life as it is, cope with reality. The journey in fellowship, emotional and spiritual living in the moment of now, living and building step by step, the journey not the destination lives and beats within...

DonInLondon 2005-2010

November 17 2010 ~ "All by myself, I wish I was..?" I learn every day the difference between solitude and isolation. Solitude provides me with time to reflect on what is working or not working in my life, and the freedom of my choices today. I can reflect in solitude and ask for help when I need it, sharing how I feel is freedom today...

November 17 2010 ~ Loneliness for me is about isolation, hiding away when I do not feel right. When I need help, an open honest and willing outlook helps me. I was never one to complain to others, I just let fear gnaw away at my gut. Isolation will let fear grow, sharing my concerns daily helps me make progress today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "OVERCOMING LONELINESS" Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured by loneliness. Even before our drinking got bad and people began to cut us off, nearly all of us suffered the feeling that we didn’t quite belong. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 90

The agonies and the void that I often felt inside occur less and less frequently in my life today. I have learned to cope with solitude. It is only when I am alone and calm that I am able to communicate with God, for He cannot reach me when I am in turmoil. It is good to maintain contact with God at all times, but it is absolutely essential that, when everything seems to go wrong, I maintain that contact through prayer and meditation."

-/-

November 16 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

2011-11-16T11:22:00.002Z

November 16 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

If it walks like a duck and quacks, and tells you its all a load of effing crap, group therapy nonsense, it is nonsense to them, part of the experience of fellowship. It makes no sense and it is the truth as they see it right now. Effing brilliant! Behind anger is fear, and anger and fear are true for the person experiencing anger and fear. Real feelings, and hurt people hurt other people. I need respect the outlook even when my outlook is happy joyous and free. That is reality today...

Education, education and education. To broaden and deepen the meaning of life we learn as we may. Experience the best teacher? Yes and no. It depends on expectations and what we think we deserve as a result. "Pop culture:" Raises expectations of fame and fortune and reality sucks for so many today. As some spectate on those living the dream, resentments deepen, rage and anger manifest in real day to day failure. A wake up call to society, the dream works for a few and cannot be lived by everyone. New survival skills required, I am lucky to live sober with 12 steps guiding me to my needs met and wants forgotten...

Emotional education and thinking education: We feel we deserve, we think we deserve, this outlook will keep us dormant as the world still turns. Spectator skills abound, useless if we do not learn how to survive as humans putting in the right action when reality cannot deliver "the dream." Are recovery skills needed in all living for all people? All life experience, we need all of it to make sense of what is possible and not possible today...

DonInLondon 2005-2010

November 16 2010 ~ living reality contingent on my spiritual condition: How do I know what my spiritual condition is today? I apply myself to living, action is always better than living in the past or watching life and judging it. If I live in what might be, I am waiting. Open, honest and willing I take part in what is going on with freedom to choose today...

November 16 2010 ~ when I know I am right, can control and manage, do the things to hold on to my way of life as I see fit, hold on to what should be happening... Lock me up or suggest I get to a meeting. To make sense of reality today, I need perspective, to let go and be open to new choices, be free of the past and live in the present moment today...

Cunning Baffling Powerful – The ‘Orrible Devil In Me!

As the song title suggests, “I did it my way,” and Frank Sinatra sang it beautifully, at the same time I really liked the way Sid Vicious sang it too, MY WAY! I learned to live life my way and was under the influence of my father during my formative years when he was around. And fortunately my mother too, her way was better and involved learning life as she went along. My Dad was more influenced by drink, fear and shame and guilt a lot of the time, but none of us knew it when we were kids, and only know now, decades later do I see how much like him I am. He died early from drink, and I nearly did too on numerous occasions.

Drink for most people is not cunning baffling or powerful, because they are not alcoholics, but for me the fascination with drink and its ability to change me, or help me find oblivion was always in me and growing. Until drink ruled me, it was cunning baffling and powerful and I could not stop. Today, I do have a reprieve from the insanity of drink on a daily basis contingent on my spiritual condition.

In some ways and in my case, I feel drink or drugs can catch us faster than the previous generation. We see it around us in our growing up years and we imitate. Just a feeling I have. My Dad was a robust individual and drank all his adult life, died at 65 from everything associated with a hard drinking life style. I am 54, have had my grazes with the grim reaper “alcohol” over the years and wonder just how much time I have taken off my life because of drink. At the same time, the years sober have been wonderful in living both the joys and horror life offers daily.

Life can be a bed of roses, and at the same time roses grow best when fertilised with horse’s droppings. Without the horses droppings we could not enjoy the smell roses so we need the droppings and the light to smell the roses? We take the rough and the smooth and learn from both. A bit like my Mum and Dad and their influences and their life experiences and what they learned? Indeed life is like that too, good and bad.

Today sober, I have many influences, I cannot change the past, I can live in the day. And keep learning life; be active in what is going on, without the fear of the ‘orrible devil in me, just for today…

-/-

AA Daily Reflections ~ "A DAILY REPRIEVE" What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 85

Maintaining my spiritual condition is like working out every day, planning for the marathon, swimming laps, jogging. It’s staying in good shape spiritually, and that requires prayer and meditation. The single most important way for me to improve my conscious contact with a Higher Power is to pray and meditate. I am as powerless over alcohol as I am to turn back the waves of the sea; no human force had the power to overcome my alcoholism. Now I am able to breathe the air of joy, happiness and wisdom. I have the power to love and react to events around me with the eyes of a faith in things that are not readily apparent. My daily reprieve means that, no matter how difficult or painful things appear today, I can draw on the power of the program to stay liberated from my cunning, baffling and powerful illness."

-/-