Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | June 30 2014
How am I feeling this morning? Hungry, angry, lonely or tired? None of these, but friends have felt this way and some family. People get bullied a lot in life by other people who think they know better. And one of the best pieces of news I have heard came in the form of acceptance in the big book. It reminded me that if I don't know what is right for me, how on Earth could I know what is right for you? I don't. And I'm not God like. I hope to be a human, having a human experience.
Many years ago I was bullied into a nervous breakdown. I had no clue what to do about this. I did not recognise that I was on track to be trapped between my personal values and integrity, and my desire to be right. I was quite confused about the rules of engagement with a bully. If you recognise a bully and that they may try draw you into a situation, walk away. No amount of personal power will overcome positional power in any walk of life without a war. And if you don't have the positional power, likelihood is that you will be flattened. Walk away…
Difficult advice, to walk away from a bully? Of course we all feel empowered to crush characters like these. And then we become the bully. It takes a village to raise a child, it takes a village to deal with a difficult child. Sometimes it can be very difficult to disconnect from those who influence our lives, in family, community, society and work. If you are walking into a new environment, check out how people are doing. Some places are just not worth entering when we know what we're dealing with. Courage to walk away will save a great deal of horror and discomfort. And just because hitmen are cheap these days, it is never an option for those who need peace of mind.
If you find there are people in your life who make you feel "less than" and they are not about to change their attitudes, best make a swift exit if you can. Very difficult to do when we feel "less than" already and we have forgotten that we all have a right to be here.
Even when people have been in recovery for years and years, you will see those who have happy lives, are having a great experience because they live and breathe all twelve principles. And when life turns bad and ugly, the twelve principles help with the experience. And of course the serenity prayer works whether you believe in God or not. Can do and cannot do and the wisdom to know the difference. And those who have longevity in recovery, and no feeling for life, they can be very, very difficult individuals who know the answers and the principles and yet cannot put them into practice. Or you can be like me, have good, bad and ugly experiences, sometimes walk away, and then realise what has happened and then the feelings come out. More often though, whether I am having a good, bad or ugly experience, if I ask myself in the moment, "how do I feel about this?" Then feelings emerge in the moment of now and the emotional and spiritual connection is made.
One principal defects of character is to forget to ask myself how am I feeling in the moment and do something about it. Somehow, there seems to be a time delay in my emotions, because like anybody else I can be taken by surprise, and my feelings are playing catch up with reality. And sometimes when I walked away from situations, I would have been better to stand still. Of course if a bus, or a bully is moving my way, momentum will take me away from those dangers. Hopefully… Most often? Sometimes…
Step Six Video 12 And 12
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